Beat, Wounded, Broken... It's my birthday?

Its my birthday.

It’s supposed to be a good day right?

we’ll apparently i’ve got it wrong.

This day isn’t a happy day,

it marks another year.

The year she made a mistake.

Another 5,256,000 breaths that polluted the air…

I shouldn’t be around she says.

I was her biggest mistake she says.

Whats a mothers love? if not honest.

I am not a human, I am a creation.

A mistake that never should have been made.

I’m an abomination, not to be loved.

Everyday I live is another 14,400  breaths that shouldn’t have been.

Everyday of my life knocked down to the ground. 

Constantly reminded…. I shouldn’t exist.

But hey I’m the sperm that apparently “won”

brought into this world only to be reminded about the life I ruined.

Some days she lifted my spirits up only to stomp me back down into the ground.

if not mentally… she’d physically punish me.

I’m the mistake that she’s reminded of everyday.

Beat, wounded, broken…

It started at a young age and now the words still haunt me.

CUT LIKE A SWORD.

Oh how i’d love the feel of the blade against my pulsing veins.

Numb the feeling for a little while.

or maybe just end it permanently?

I’ll put us both out of our misery.

Whats stopping me?