무죄의 상실

A Poem by Bry Wilcox

Innocence is something we all try to hold on to, like a child clings to their teddy bear...but sometimes our innocence...our heart... Our everything... is taken away without any consideration. The smile is fake enough that you can feel it crack like broken pieces of glass, but it hides the tears. No one else sees the cracks, they don't look that close. There's more than meets the eye, if they could just hear the screams hidden in the laugh track. Once was more than enough but repetition pounds the memories into your head. You finally shatter, broken glass all along the floor. Everyone cries. "How did we not notice, how did we not see how broken you could truly be?"..." They were happy from what I could see..." The weight of the world...too much to carry. Years pass, you glue yourself together piece by piece but never feel whole...they stole something from you. A piece of your mind?... Your peace of mind?... Your heart?... You?... But you carry on like a soilder with "flesh would", but it feels more like a missing limb... They tell you that you're fine. Let go. But it follows. The guilt...the shame...the memories...they follow you at all times. The dreams keep you up at night...to the point where you stop sleeping right. You lose weight, but blame it on your diet... But you don't eat right... You barely remember how to take care of yourself...but they depend on you. So you try. Every day. But trying is so hard when the screaming never stops. The headaches are real. The pain is real. A knife in the heart is your permanent punishment. Accept your fate. This is what comes with a loss of innocence... Perhaps that's why we try to cling onto the innocent parts of ourselves...