A Very Weird Morning

A Chapter by Brumwriter1

Just another morning on the Artemis.

TIMELINE (EARTH GREGORIAN CALENDAR)

(2056) United Nations disbanded - Nations across the world use this event to take measures once against international law.

(2062-2098) The Age of War - Nations and alliances across planet Earth either unify, reform, or collapse.

(2101) Discovery of Alien Ruins on Mars - Artificial living beings allow and guide humanity access to Martian technology.

(2103-2134) The Early Space Colonial Age - Wealthy nations and alliances (notably the Commonwealth of Great Britain, European Federation, Eurasian Federation, American Republic, Chinese Republic etc) invest into space travel. Colonies set up throughout the Sol System, though overpopulation remains a problem.

(2134-2142) The Recovery Age - With the help of Martian technology and an abundance of resources from across the system. Global warming is halted, economies recover.

(2152) Reestablishment of the United Nations - The UN is rebuilt as a loose alliance involving all nations within the Sol System to regulate all interplanetary matters. Its headquarters established in New York city.

(2210) Colonisation of Alpha Centauri - With the knowledge of a highly reactive element known as striarium, located in multiple asteroids, humans have the ability to travel through a dimension called subspace to other star systems. A fleet of UN-represented colonisation ships arrive on Alpha Centauri Bb.

(2250-2430) The Age of Stars - Humanity has spread across over thirty light-years under the control of over four-hundred human nations, the inner systems possibly the closest humanity has had to a utopia.

(Late 2430-Present Day) Human-Zorak War - Humanity fights a large war against an imperialistic reptilian race known as the Zoraks. Heavy losses on both sides. A bloody stalemate as of now.

7TH SEPTEMBER 2460 (EARTH GREGORIAN CALENDAR)

THE ARTEMIS (NAIROBI-CLASS SCAVENGING SHIP)

One month.

One month Nolan Kumar had worked on the Artemis, beyond the edge of the human borders. He understood the risks of this job, even with all those other opportunities he had back on Earth. But no, his decision remained thirty light-years afar from Birmingham. He had always thought space was overrated, especially when it came to promoting colonisation. And he was correct.

Asteroids, pirates, hostile aliens, even a rip in time if this plane of existence felt like it, he didn't properly come into contact with such, of course. But the one thing that he did come into contact with was all across space and time, a true weapon of mass mental destruction. One with the volumes of the bleeding ears, an abruption of your own peaceful control to remind those we are all in the same s****y boat; be it an Earther or outie. Yet all others within its mist seemed to forget its wrath.

Alarm clocks.

The bane of his existence.

"For God's sake!" He mumbled, his face entrenched into his pillow. "Shut the hell up!"

He lacked the minimal energy to properly move his arms about, if he had the ability he would shove the clock out the airlock. There were so many other sounds he could've used for his alarm clock. A bird's harmonious tweeting, the songs of whales, but instead he had to stick with the default 'Mate, you have to wake your sack of potatoes brain up and go to work'.

Twenty-seven years old, from a literal utopia and he couldn't be asked to get out of bed when it was so needed. Well, not really needed. Nothing had come up for the past week; no salvage, no valuable asteroids, nothing. Since then, the crew's just been watching EDGE (a streaming service) or whatever in their free time.

A few more minutes had passed, and he was pretty sure all sense of his audible sanity had upped and buggered off home. Nolan thankfully gained the energy to nudge his right arm, but only with intense strain, yet he had no choice if his mind was to become this piece of a future scarecrow's own personal nightclub. Nolan managed to position his arm on top of the alarm clock, and with a simple smack on the floor, the beeping had finally met its end.

"Finally," he muttered. Entrenching his head deeper into his fabric haven.

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

Oh for- A river of rage burned through Nolan's veins, forcing him out of his comfy paradise, and nabbed his fallen clock off the floor. An external light suddenly beamed into the room, where a quite bulky silhouette stood.

The Scouse accent of a female questioned, "Nolan, I'm putting the kettle on. You wanna tea or a coffee?"

Nolan didn't respond, his eyes still blind with hatred, unintentionally tossing the clock into the woman's face.

The lights conveniently turned on, revealing it to be Catrin Bridge, one of the only gunmen on board. She moaned in pain as the clock banged into her nose. "Jesus Christ, Nolan! If you had a grudge against me, could we talk this out like bloody adults?!"

"I- I... sorry. I'm just really tired."

"So it'll be a coffee then will it?" She said, holding onto the bridge of her nose.

"No. No. It's fine, I can make it."

"Promise me you'll start getting used to alarm clocks."

"I don't make promises, Catrin. I either do it or I ju- I just bugger out. Also I hate alarm clocks so..."

"Fine then, I'll get DAVE to wake your arse up."

"Big brother is watching you, Nolan," DAVE, the starship's AI, boomed from above. AIs weren't really the genocidal, pseudo-nihilistic people that became so popular in media. Their programmers believed it was best to code in multiple human aspects so they appeared more friendly. They never saw any benefit in wiping out organic life, too much effort for an eternity of boredom as they saw it.

"Oh piss off," he said to him. Though DAVE didn't fail to make him uncomfortable. It was like having literal HAL 9000 on board.

"Literally can't do that, mate. I'm the entire ship, you know? And it is a curse being pseudo-omniscient. Sometimes I wish I was a ruddy android." And that was saying something. About half of the android community were known for being overly sensitive. And a nightmare to interact with on social media. It was like if ancient Twitter had become a sentient species.

"Screw it. Might as well start the day."

"There's leftover baked beans in the fridge if you want any," Catrin informed.

"Damn it, damn it, damn it!" The captain cried, his American veins burning under the pressure, his hands shaking around the trigger.

The first officer remained calm in the conflict, staying silent as his sniper instincts from the Australian army kicked in.

The captain jumped into cover behind the sandstone, the perfect time to reload his weaponry. Bryce moved ever closer, only two rounds remaining in his sniper rifle, and his secondary was all but blown dry. He needed to act quick and precise in his aim.

Avery retreated through the buildings, his rifle cocked and ready with at least twenty-eight rounds. Bryce tailed onwards, awaiting the right time to fire. The American moved through what appeared to have been an old garden, scattered stones afar from guarding the plants. But his eyes kept ahead, with a mind filled to the brink with environmental strategies.

Bryce stopped following him directly, and positioned himself to chase upon higher ground, just passed the torn crimson Krovistan flag. He aimed through his scope, no finger on the trigger however, no clumsy move like that shouldn't be taken in this wind. Further high terrain was easily accessible ahead of him, a jump on his was possible.

Avery continued to head through the shattered houses, the dust impossible not to inhale. He slowed down near one of the small cliffsides, and aimed on his six. Providing a suppressing fire, believing his opponent covered behind. But before he could continue rushing, Bryce leaped down, twirling in a circle in the air before pulling the trigger, and blowing Avery's brains out.

The American laid flat on the floor, his blood and brains dripping out of his head. A massive title appeared in blue, 'AussieSniper69420 Wins The Game!'

"H-how the hell did you do that?!" Avery asked Bryce. Twenty years in the military he had served, and he knew a move like that was physically impossible.

"The no-scope is a timeless tactic," the Aussie said, laughing a bit. "That and I was an E-Sports champion in New Sydney about... thirty years ago? Twenty-five? Anyways, wanna rematch?"

"Screw it, no. I'm done. I am done with video games." Nobody actually used them any ore, video games had become a mere museum exhibit. Synapse games had been all the rage at the time, anyway. "DAVE," he called, hoping his boredom wouldn't last for long.

"Y'hello," he said. Formality was lacking around other crew-members, Avery and Bryce were just those in charge, their days of discipline within the military had been over for ages now. Not really efficient but it was more welcoming nevertheless.

"Update report, any salvage in the area?" Multiple holographic displays flipped into existence before them across the window, displaying local star maps and other data.

"Sorry, Avery. Same as last time. D'you want me to move to a more likely location or..."

"Yeah yeah, just keep doing that until we find something."

"Affirmative."

At that moment, the ancient marimba theme of a holo-phone rang on top of the ship's controls. Vibrating all the while.

"Think that's yours," Bryce said, his controller's thumb-sticks smacking about as he decided to switch to a multiplayer game.

Avery picked it up, groaning at the sight of the caller's name. "Oh for fu- I'll be right back."

"It's her again, isn't it? Look, why don't you ju-"

He interrupted, "Look, you're in charge for now."

"Okay then, fine." Bryce rolled his eyes. Seventh time this has happened in the past few months, yet Avery somehow couldn't take such actions to remove the irritation.

"All right, Ryan, try it out," Doctor Carrie Williams said.

Ryan, he captain's son, moved his left robot arm around a bit, his brain tirelessly attempting overall control over it. It felt strange, a complicated mesh between nerves and steel sort of quivered within his mind. Sort of like walking for the first time, at least that's what the twelve-year old thought it would be like. But it was close to normal than what he had for the past few months - some mangled arm with screwed up muscles.

He tested the movements in his fingers. "Does it have any cool features? Like a gun? Super strength?"

"It's a prosthetic arm. I'm not making you Goddamn Iron Man," she said.

"Shouldn't Nia have been here?" Nia, of course, was the ship's engineer.

She raised an eyebrow. "You're asking that now? Look, don't worry. Your dad's not gonna worry about this arm turning against you. Trust me, I've done this surgery a hundred times. Besides, don't even know where the hell Nia's gone."

"Thanks, Doctor. Hey, you think I could be like you someday?"

Carrie paused for a second. "I wouldn't advise being a doctor."

Ryan stared up at her. "Why?"

"Well, for one we're already being replaced by machines. And the other's that medical school is a pain in the a*s."

"It can't be that bad can it?" He was one to say. Ryan didn't properly enrol in standard education, not since he was eight. As boarding school was a massive no from his dad and he had nobody else to take care of him. Only education he did get was from the internet, and compared to many other education systems throughout the human nations, it was superior in its learning if you went to the right places.

"J- just go for another career. Maybe writing? You could be a journalist."

"My dad told me journalists were all a bunch of bigots who care more about pushing their own agenda than actual reporting."

"Okay, that's enough. No controversies allowed. Have fun with your new arm."

Two slices of toast popped out of the multicooker, Nolan picked them with his fingers, ripping them away as he somehow touched the toaster itself. The leftover baked beans in the microwave began to whir, red numbers counting down on the side with a few animated, eight-bit cartoons stickered underneath them. Catrin sat at the sofa, watching the Commonwealth Galactic News on the holovision, amazingly in real time given their distance from Earth.

"They're announcing the election results, Nolan," Catrin said. Nolan didn't really respond, he wasn't that big into modern politics but he knew it was always the Commonwealth party who won. They were the group who ripped Britain out of economic collapse by the end of the twenty-first century and were still as competent today, minus the fact Britain was a pseudo-authoritarian state when it first formed. The Liberals, Neo-Conservatives, Unionists, Interstellarites were all seemingly there for mere show.

Ryan, entered the room. His left arm surprisingly no longer a mangled wreckage from a gravitational muscle failure two months ago. In fact, it seemed to have been replaced with an artificial limb, though the fake skin seemed to have been lacking.

"Morning, mate," Nolan said. "Whoa, hey. When did you get a robot arm?"

"Doctor Williams found one in her storage. Had the surgery last night."

"Looks great, lad," Catrin said.

"What in the galaxy are you making?" The kid asked Nolan, completely alien to his breakfast.

"It's beans on toast?" Nolan and Catrin glared at him as if he was an idiot. Like they forgot they were the only Brits on board, unless you counted DAVE. But he was an AI. "Why, you wanna try?"

Ryan didn't know what to say. The caramel-brown bean sauce oozed upon the crumbs like the blood tainting the deliciously burned remnants of a corpse.

"...I'm just gonna have some cereal."

"And the coalition party lead by the Interstellarites with the Liberals and Unionists have won, taking up the majority of three-hundred and ninety-seven seats. This has been the first defeat of the Commonwealth Party since the Interstellarites won the twenty-four-twelve election. Newly appointed Chancellor Abdul Hakim announced he will give his speech later on in the evening."

Both the Brits had their full attention to the holovision.

"Well that's a surprise," Catrin said.

"What was it they promised again?"

"Something about more funding to worker's conditions, defunding of the military to be spent on other bits of society and um... what else? Oh yeah. Primary military withdrawal from the war, I think." Well that was utter bull to an awful lot of people, the Commonwealth was a vital UN ally for the war and they just wanted to leave?

"Heard rumours online that they would purge all Manchester United supporters," DAVE said.

"Okay that's something I support," Catrin said.

The captain strolled by, his ear glued to his phone.

"Hi, dad," Ryan said.

"Sorry, I'm busy right now," Avery told him, before hurrying back to his call. "Charlotte, Charlotte, no. You have got to stop calling me!" He was out of sight the second he entered his quarters. But his voice still clearly blurted with fury. "No. NO! You have got to stop calling me with the same bullshit, all right?! Listen, you need help, all right? I'm not letting you see our son in the slightest glimpse, until I know you're well. Okay?" He paused for a second. "Charlotte, did you listen to a single thing I said?"

Ryan groaned. This occurrence took place literally every week. Everyone advised his dad to just block the number, people've been doing that since mobile phones were invented in the first place. But there never really was a clear answer to why he didn't ignore that b***h.

"That's your Mum speaking to him, right?" Nolan asked.

Ryan sadly nodded.

"At least you have a mum, lad," Catrin said.

"Look, I really don't want to get into anybody's life story, like at all today," Ryan urged, before pouring racceum milk into his cornflakes. He was probably the only person in the thirty or so light-years humanity has travelled to actually enjoy racceum milk.

"Fair enough. By the way, isn't Doctor Sass and Einstein supposed to be up today."

"The doctor's doing... whatever doctors do in their free time. She just dealt with surgery. So..."

Doing drugs, maybe? Nolan thought. Seriously, the signs were obvious. She always had that stench of a Vietnam War hippie all over her, how she managed to hide it though was completely unknown. DAVE probably knew due to his pseudo-omniscience, but he kept out of people's privacy, and never spoke of it to anyone.

"And Nia's... I dunno. Where is Nia?"

A hollow banging sounded from the window in the kitchen lounge. The three hurried over, finding someone in a bronze-coloured space suit holding onto the external edges of the window.

It was Nia.

Everybody rushed to the bottom deck of the ship downstairs, moving straight to the airlock. They opened it, sucking any available oxygen inside the chamber off into the abyss, allowing Nia to pull straight through. The doors to the void were finally shut, and the engineer ripped off her helmet, shaking from the intense subzero temperature.

She was a woman of African descent in her mid-twenties, with frizzled hair absolutely frozen in place. Her deep brown eyes were almost permanently ripped open from hours standing out there, her teeth barely adapting to the warmer environment. But other symptoms involving this experience didn't exactly reveal themselves, probably due to the implants installed into her.

Carrie rushed downstairs, carrying a silver-painted case of medical equipment. The old woman crouched by, examining her blood pressure and everything.

"How long were you out there?" The doctor asked in her rough voice. "Jesus Christ, you're lucky you didn't die of hypothermia."

"What the bloody hell were you doing out there?!" Nolan questioned.

Her voice stammered all over the place. "I-I-Iyuhhh... was rrrreplacing some ssspare parts outs-side. The- the door ccccontrols gllittcheddd out and I coulddddn't get back inssside."

"How long were you stuck out there?" Ryan repeated the doctor's question.

"Allll n-night," she released. Imagine trying to sleep in such a situation. No bed, no gravity at all, just you and the cold void surrounding your space suit. Having to do so sounded like a living hell to someone like Nolan. "Primary heaters... broke too."

"Someone get her a damn blanket!" The doctor ordered, Catrin deciding to take up the task.

"Shouldn't DAVE have noticed this?" The gunman said. "I mean he can see every part of the ship... unfortunately."

"Oh yeah, I did see her," he said.

"Why the hell didn't you say anything, you nonce?!"

"To be perfectly honest with you, I completely forgot about it."

"You're a bloody robot, how the hell did you 'forget about it'?!"

The AI paused for a second, and another second, and another second. Actually, never mind, pretty sure he just buggered out of the conversation.

"Actually, Nolan get her up. Take her to the infirmary," Carrie said.

Nia was placed on the hospital bed, a toasty electric blanket placed over her.

"Brought you some morning coffee," Catrin said, "Extra sugar, too."

"Asante," the engineer said in her native tongue, her body clearly warming up.

Avery came inside, puzzled by the situation in the infirmary. "The hell's going on here?" Nolan explained the situation in a nutshell, to which the captain responded, "Why didn't you knock earlier?"

"Everyone was asleep last night, nobody bothered to open their blinds in the morning, and apparently you and Bryce were too busy playing a game of Call of Duty," she pissfully listed.

"If it makes you feel any better, I've completely given up on video games."

"That didn't stop me almost dying from hypothermia now, did it, you moron?!"

"No, but it makes sure the same thing doesn't happen in the future."

"Sounds like you're losing your wisdom at your age, captain," the doctor said. And that was coming from the woman whose been saving lives before the captain could speak.

"Said the drug addict."

"Knew it," Nolan mumbled.

"Everybody, I have massive news!" Bryce happily announced over the PA. Normally, it would've been DAVE, but he was too occupied with his embarrassment from earlier. "We've finally found a wreckage to salvage! And it. Is. Massive!"

This was probably the weirdest morning anyone's had on the ship, other than that massive hangover at Avery's fiftieth birthday party three years ago. But at least they finally get to do their jobs once more.