The price for living in a box

This is about the passing of someone but not sure what to do with the experiences that lay ahead. anxieties from moving on

A woman in a box, a box on a figurine so peaceful, this woman is laying six feet down, no rest and not a crease in her high priced dress. Selfishly bombarded with figures of passion and shadow's that become doubt in the mourning of a seldom and self sufficient Silhouette that hangs over a wall in a portrait, live long and happy day's while you dance blissfully in the rain, but tonights not the night for an ending chapter in our book of long and restful nights. tomorrow begins more adventurous sleepless night's of carnivorous and devious beginning's for the newest habits that seem to show up from the under laying depths of my mind but for now sleep beautiful, awake with a startled response, rapid heart beat and bitter sweet sweat let me remind you! we're laying here alive, nothing can shake me of this feeling, its time i stop living live for me and start living life for two. It's cold on the floor, Not even enough time for regret, Say, it's not over.. But today is another day of thing's i never thought i would do. First hello is every last goodbye to someone else. facing fact's and learning is apart of everything. Each new smile has been amazing. sheltered by those who care and find us to be weak and dependent and held for so long, held back from our desires and goals, but i think it's time to set out and embark on a new beginning, make a name for myself. It's still not over and for news of the traveling homeless, soldiers and our fellow writers will be embraced as hero's, It's time to start on and looking back as less of a habit and looking forward as more of a goal then a punishment. Time heals all wounds, love heals the heart. A tearfully Goodbye, and a blissful smile turns a gloomy expression , its time to grin   and look at each failure as a new lesson.

Reviews

[Adreamer's Bluejay]

The title caught my eye and did much more than intrigue me. The way you wrote this and gave different phrases a different feel by bolding them, underlining, different fonts was interesting, it sort of made it feel like you were giving off a different emotion or trying to change the theme of the piece without destroying all your hard work. There are a few typos, like Shadow's in the second line which does not need the apostrophe; just reread the piece to yourself and see if you see what I mean. I love the message in this piece and how you got to such a simple point that could have been said in a single sentence after such wonderful descriptions and a captivating story. You have a very unique way with words and you definitely have a fan out of me.

[Brooksfield]

I was actually drunk when i had written this, i rarely go back and reread my stuff because some of them bring back pain's i would care to forget, i will try to pace myself to go back and read them and fix the typos.

[Brooksfield]

The underlined words are like the whispers in the back of your mind, some of them are what i would have said as i read them, the crossed out words aren't suppose to be there but they are added in like fillers, both are meant to add depth perception
on what they wished they had said but couldn't find the words but as you go back later you realize you should have said them. the large print is another message, read each bold word and it makes some what of another poem, a small message but it's there.

[Sami Khalil]

A very nice write. Thank you for sharing . I like the title too...:)

[Brooksfield]

Thank you! thank you for reading! I also love the title.

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:)

[Leticia Z]

As a mom who lost a very precious young man at age 20, your writing touched me. It took me a long time to see the light when he passed on. I kept the ashes with me, with the intention of taking them to his favorite ocean. But it never happened. I felt so much better than if we had put him in a box. Great writing! Enjoyed the embarking on a new journey comment so much!

[Brooksfield]

When i first started writing this two hour's ago it was originally about a man, But i kind of looked at it as it could be anyone.. if it's a man or woman it still has meaning all in the same, I only changed the gender to make it look and have more emphasis on "Dancing in the rain", when do you see men dancing away the pain? drinking until theres nothing left. it's about the journeys of one's heart and finding the right path they think is more suitable for them, about letting go and taking the time to step back and heal from what has happened and in a way feeling partly responsible for the way things had come to such an end but at the same time looking forward to so much more and wanting and needing to live and hopefully make them proud. though i am very delighted that you liked the poem, very sorry to hear about you son. You make it sound like he was a very good son, though i can't say the same about myself i hope what ever is in your heart that you never let go of something so valuable and precious to ones body mind and soul.

[Jamie Cook]

That was lovely dude!!! I wanted to say woman, but meh why not? Guuuuuuuuuuurl you wrote it so beautifully. Awesome job woot woot I love the time heals part....time is so slooooooooow but hey...getting there! :D

[Brooksfield]

Thanks brah! keep up the comments!!!! oh yeah.. High five!

[Jamie Cook]

heehee :D welcome :D