Dreaming of a Black envelope.

A story about a life and the struggle facing someone who you really care for and above all, willing to take the abuse an the "i dont want to hear it."' and all of that won't be heard. Kampai!

 Upon the parchment and on the high rises, the waiting of the curious men awaiting your stumbled presence at their tables. To the skies and seas of bottomless blue, Skyward and straight down timid and yet skillfully nigh. We believe we seek we dream of the ones we care for.

 "Baby, Born & go." as now we still think about it, even if we don't say it's in the back of our minds and in our dreams. We never think the ones we love will leave us as soon as we thought. Yet our wants and needs must be met, so we dream the silent dreams, silent me.

 It's about time i write another poem about you and about the feeling i first had about you but, i was rejected and i' am still aching for more and if anything, I'm starting to like this feeling. it's become a routine for me. A routine to say that it has become more then "Fall fall ill be at the bottom to catch you" and if not, if not then you know i can't be there to stop the blood from rushing out your head.

 All i can think is "Oh brother?" is that what i am, have i acted brotherly? How can you say that with a straight face and "NO" i think not and it's been clear from day one. If anything i have acted more caring and protective but, among the whispers along the crowd of men watching. this is the day i repent for being my self  if not more then a single crime of hearing myself walk away when i had the chance, when my brain kicked in to high alert and told me "It could never happen, Not with this one", But no matter what i still need to tell you how i feel and nothing can stop me from feeling this even if i was to climb a tower or a ceiling as high as the sixth chapel.

 nothing would ever suffice as i shout my undying love for you.  A body as vast as the ocean and nothing aside from what secrets lay beneath the raging tides, but it would never be enough, it would never reach you, strangled and choked off my words will always be drowned out by the way you want things to be accepted yet you can't accept what anyone else has to say as you never want to hear what i have to say, though a short time has come and gone only one will be left standing and shall we see who will last longer. 

My voice will never be heard upon your deaf ears and i've come to terms with that, but who will be there when you melt down again and try to swallow all of the pain killers and prozac. Who spoke to you when you needed someone the most. Let me tell you, It wasn't him. It was me who begged you and spoke you down, it was me who worried about you all night and day when you left with out another word, when the time comes you'll see i was right. I need you to think about what i have said. 

My confession. I've never tried to hurt you and yet you shoot me down with out second thought, As i lay before you and you shamelessly treat me like ground underfoot, so do me a favor, pick up your feet and stop trying to walk all over me like i am a mat to whip your dirty shoes on, because if the ground isn't hard enough to fall on or the air isn't as sweet as revenge with a single breath to tell you. "It's not enough to tell me you feel the same way and then take it back so gracefully", as you must have thought it though before you didn't think it as a lead on. so stop fooling you're self and only until then and only in that moment but Until then i will always listen to the beat of drums and the whispers of my own voice softly reminding you that I wont stick around forever for you to notice me.

Reviews

[Shadows Ember]

I really like this. It is at one point how people feel in their lives and i believe it as a piece that brings peace. Very well written.

[Brooksfield]

Thank you so much, i really appreciate your review.

[Shadows Ember]

Its no problem.

[Adreamer's Bluejay]

actually, i disagree with the comment previously made that states the wall of text makes it difficult for readers to follow. To me it actually made it smoother than if you tried to break it into stanzas or even paragraphs. The word choice here is great and the point you're making is even better than that. The way your voice comes through in this piece is amazing and I really really really like how descriptive it was

[Brooksfield]

Thank you so much, i'm sorry i didn't get to your post a week ago, i just only saw it today. But this is real feelings, the Perception of this piece came from a life changing moment, i did my best to sum it all up in a story read with all the points that made this one person make me feel like dirt, the reason it skips around so much if you see that it does is because of that, i couldn't make it one smooth story with out skipping some.

[Trigorin]

You have a good concept, but I think that some of your ideas might need a bit more concrete grounding. It's a little difficult reading this, mostly because it's a big block of text, but also because the audience isn't entirely sure what you're talking about.

[Brooksfield]

I thought about what you said and i tossed it around in my head all night and i can see the flaws and to be honest im not that great of a writer, but i did try to mend and add more to parts that looked like dead ends so it would make a bit more sense ive tried filling in the gaps where thoughts cut off. Thank you for your over sight on my work. I'm very grateful for your post, thank you again..