Humanity

Are we not the same

One and the same, are not we all

In us all, will you not find

streams of red, flowing and coursing, the waters of life?

worlds abound in galaxies of thought?

a pulsating beat, the rythmic symphony of existence?

scars of sorrow, the phosphoresce of glee?

Yet we fight, an endless strife, from a lacking to look within

All we see, surface of flesh, if only twas transparent

All we hear,  divergent tongues, if only speech was one

Is it foolish to hope? Is it folley to dream? One day earths blight will end?

Author's Note

Critisism welcom

Reviews

[AprilRN1210]

nice thought-provoking, philosophical introspective piece that begs the reader to question who, what, when, why, where, how we are and how we fit in to the bigger scheme of things... I am not sure about the repetition in this one.. will offer my opinion, suggestions, and criticism below:) overall, well done



One and the same, are we not all (again just my opinion, but would probably re-word this to maybe... One and the same, are not we all?)......

In us all, will you not find.....
streams of red, flowing and coursing, the waters of life?
worlds abound in galaxies of thought?
a pulsating beat, the rythmic symphony of existence? (rhythmic?)
scars of sorrow, the phosphoresce of glee? (phosphorescence?)

Yet we fight, an endless strife, from a lacking to look within
All we see, surface of flesh, if only twas transparent
All we hear, divergent tongues, if only speech was one
Is it foolish to hope? Is it (foley) to dream? One day earth(')s blight will end? (did you mean folly instead of "foley?")

I really enjoyed some of the phrasing and descriptions :)

[The Brooklyn Nomad]

yea i like this, think Ill change it up

[Rene Salinas]

I completely sympathise and to some extent share the weight of your questions. I also like what you manage to find as common ground. It is intriguing indeed.

I have never been a fan of repetition so the questions which are repeated in sequence that makes me want to switch things around as if indeed that kind of questioning could not be part of thinking itself but maybe in your case is different and hence you expressed it that way.

As for the theme itself I think it carries positivity and hope. Even in this torrid times when there is not much to see and get immersed upon as every other news is about some form of negative outlook.

Maybe that's why we need to remain hopeful.

Thank You.

[The Brooklyn Nomad]

I actually agree with the dislike in repetition, think of this as a first draft i just wanted to get out there, a stream of thought. Thank you once again for the insight