The life I deem my own.

About taking life into your own hands, living how you see fit.

What am I but flesh and bone? An enigma I do decree!

Is what I am, just what you see, all atoms in the air?

Or am I action, the things Ive done, my mark upon the world?

Am I then, now and too come, my shade on threads of time?

Within the void, from whence we're from, does design there lay?

I know not, nor shall I ever, if life is from divine.

Since I know not, nor shall I ever, life's path to pave is mine.

From Dark to Light, till kingdom come, my king is what I am.

My king, my god in land of life, the life I deem my own.

Author's Note

Critisim welcome, simply trying to get tips since I am new to poetry

Reviews

[Vanesa Markovic]

I try not to give criticism as I prefer to leave that to the pro's,
but from one poet to another, I enjoyed these existential inquiries.
Great theme aside, I think you had excellent flow and it was a free
flowing and easily read piece, which given the topic, is always appreciated.
Haha.
Well done!

[The Brooklyn Nomad]

thanks means alot, Ill be sure to check out your writing.

[Rene Salinas]

Hi Brooklyn

As sense of reciprocity and I came to your page. Poetry and just like any other manifestation of art is subject to rigurous rules and vast amounts of knowledge are readily available, from easy to understand to not so easy as it may be considered formal. On the other hand poetry embraces such a personal level that you can also choose to obbey your own rules. If indeed you follow any - or none. In the end if it helps to espress what you wish I think it serves the purpose. So I will bail out on Critisicm as everytime I do it I find myself in a bit of a "pickle" as after I do the response is negative.

Here are however my passing thoughts. In terms of structure and form it is common to use commas as indentations in poetry so they generally allow the writer to begin a new line again this is completely personal so just a suggestion. I think it helps to give the words space to breathe and slow the tempo down. So they can resound.

Any how I will leave that at that I am sure that you will find your way through. As for theme and concept it is a creative and somewhat tinged with old fashined sense which adds mystery to the writing. It also adds embrace and a certain amount of respect through formality. I could see you using "thee" and "thou".

The theme oh questions that require time. Patience and the desire to find the answer as they will not revela themselves in a hurry. But indeed there is only way way to your life....

That one is your own.

Hope to read more from you!

Thank You!

[The Brooklyn Nomad]

Thank you for the indepth comments, It means alot to get input on this form that is new to me. And as well any critism is always welcome, I am new to this art and am sure to have many faults in style so no need to worry about a negative response, and yes I do enjoy the classical poets, Walt Whitman is a favorite.

[Lola_Bee]

this was lovely, enchanting and alluring. wanting to read each line enthusiastically. great work

[The Brooklyn Nomad]

thank you, its good to hear you enjoyed