January 31, 2016

This is the first time I've felt like writing in a long time

Sometimes I don't feel human

The only way I can feel human again, is to cut

It doesn't hurt until it has to be cleaned

I used to feel human

To feel happy, to feel pain

I've been numb for a while

Yea I may smile, it's just to please the people around me

I don't feel anything, I may cry and seem upset

But I don't feel it

I know I'm a pain in the a*s

I know I'm annoying

I don't mean to be I really don't

It just kind of happens that way

Missing my other half sucks

There's days I have a million feelings

and I'm depressed, happy, pissed off, and worried all at once

I f*****g hate being without my love

I've been feeling this way since my 17th birthday

July 3 2015

My baby is perfect, in every damn way

She is all mine

I wish I could feel more 

Not just every once in a while

I guess that life for a 17 year old

I want to be happy and feel it

I wanna hold her hand again

Soon it'll be that time again

And maybe just maybe my feelings will return to show how happy I can be