Intro

this is the INTRO NOT A CHAPTER..

                                                    Intro ;

I told people I wouldn't make that my story because what happens to me isnt my story but I guess I lied and I had no choice but to let that become my story. I just want to live for me, and live my life day to day by the moment and not let anybody or anything tear me apart anymore. I'm a fighter and let me tell you something about people who are fighters, fighters are people who wake up at 1 am and think about everything and anything but dont cry, instead they stay up and LAY there and let their thoughts eat them away inside, laying in complete darkness alone and they let these f*****g thoughts eat them alive and make them feel worthless, alone, and guilty.  Fighters are people who will never tell you when they're hurting. They will never show any EMOTIONS but always feel REGRET. Fighters, aren't weak fighters arent numb... depressed yes most likely. Fighters will never follow their life the way they want to because they know they may dream the movie life, but sitting at a desk answering phone calls to stupid society making 9.25 an hour is their job.. Fighters face reality, and they live with it and except the fact they may never live life to their true happiness and expectations but they're living, and breathing and healthy, and that may be that's all important in time.

Do you ever feel like you are walking on egg shells, or broken glass even? That everything in life is just like go go go stop, stop, stop. Then pain. Nothing is ever the way we want it to be, or the way we planned anything to be but somehow that's just how life turns out. It's not easy feeling like you're fighting alone, or in this world alone. It's not fair to feel as though you aren't worthy and don't belong somewhere. Everyone should feel belonged, everyone should feel welcomed somewhere. Never feel alone in a crowded  room, but in someway we still do anyways. Our evil thoughts try to pull us under, and make us feel as thought they're right and we are wrong but somehow we still tie our shoes and walk out the door as if we heard nothing.

We all are broken, I wish somebody told me before what I know now, that being broken is just something that is going to happen to you whether its love, death or just things in life. Sometimes I feel like a tornado, like i destroy everything around me winds going miles and miles fast people scared and hiding away, everyone telling me "look what you've done, look what you've destroyed." Everything is happening so fast. I'm so much stronger today, this year and this time in life than I've ever been, I believe in myself, I believe in change, I believe in hope and fate. I will never let myself fall apart again like I have in the past, I will never let somebody tell me that I'm not going to be anything and that I cant make my dreams come true. I will always be a leader.

I wanted things to change so bad between being stuck alone in every place i went to. Home to home, job to job, same s**t different day. All I had really was a couple boxes of clothes and broken memories. Nobody to speak to nobody to listen to me, and nothing was ever going to change. Everything that I once knew was gone.. Everybody looked at me as if I was searching for answers and self pity, as if I was mentally insane, ha, maybe I was, maybe I was lsoing my mind but if I was, it was by far completely out of my control... I sit here and watch spiders eat away the insides of bugs like someone is eating my heart away, because without a heart you'd be dead right?

Reviews

[BlackPrince]

I like how you explain your understanding of a fighter. You are absolutely right.
I do believe that everyone's a fighter in so many ways. But one very important question is:
''What are we fighting?'' Some are born with a gold spoon in their mouth, and some can't even afford a plastic spoon (as an example). The rich man may be fighting to accumulate his riches, and the poor man fights to escape poverty.
However, if they both knew and grasped the valuable concept of 'peace of mind and peace of heart, there wouldn't be no reason to fight; but rather to live life, appreciate life and try our best to live in harmony with our surrounding.
But, of course, each person's problem is very real to him or her.
Yet deep down we must learn to be in touch with ourselves, discovering our talents, things that we're good at; we must learn to be content with the little that we have, and work hard for the things that we desire (without succumbing to materialism); and though we must love and value others, we must learn to love and value ourselves first; only then would we be able to genuinely love others. And that's exactly why Jesus said: 'Love your neighbours as you love yourself.' Clearly this means 'charity begins at home'. We should never compare ourselves to anybody, because, like DNA, each person is so unique. Your voice matters as much as the president's. However, we all can learn from each other, collaborate with each other, help each other without sacrificing our uniqueness.