faults

"it's your fault."

that's the text you want to send at four in the morning when you can't sleep, those eyes on your mind once again.

when you're laying alone in your bed, and your thoughts won't allow you even an hour of silence.

when you lie awake and question everything you've ever known, and search for answers you know you'll never find.

"it's your fault."

that's what you want to yell at the top of your lungs when your heart feels like it's close to exploding.

when you realize your smiles are a little too fond, your laugh a little too long and your heart a little too far gone.

when you realize that nothing is going to be the same anymore, because you've finally decided to fight back.

"it's your fault."

that's what you want to whisper when you're so close to slipping back into the lie, unable to resist knowing that they still care.

when you've tried to pull yourself away, fight the feelings and distance yourself - knowing it's not going to last long. it never does.

when you can feel yourself falling, faster and harder each day without a way out.

"it's my fault."

that's what you realize once you've gone over the deep end, pushed them away one too many times.

when they finally see past the lies you've been telling, when they see what everything has meant.

when you finally get what you want and they're gone. but maybe that really wasn't what you wanted at all.

"it's both of our faults."

that's what you've come to when you finally think back on it.

when he made you fall in love with him, without even knowing.

when you finally made yourself into the person you swore you'd be again. 

the one that's always at fault somehow. 

the one that's always hurt in the end, but no one will see. 

the liar, who hides everything and shows nothing but smiles and silence.
'it's my fault." is easier than explanations, at least. 

Author's Note

written at four in the morning, couldn't sleep. it is what it is, I suppose.

Reviews

[Harmartia Poe]

I love this so much, girl.