The Iniquitous Playground

"Stay away from them." The teachers would say.

They would say the same thing day by day.

Whilst those people were following me around, 

telling me I was a disgrace. Maybe it would 

have been less painful, if they didn't say it 

to my face.

"Just ignore them." My friends would laugh.

As they continued to play, and pretended to be

giraffes. 

"Kids can be cruel." The parents would whisper.

Did that mean every kid was in my school? 

Maybe I was there to be taunted, maybe it was

just the rules?

Nine years old, with thoughts of being better off dead.

Broken hearted from all the things those kids had

said. Will they love me when I disappear?

Surely anywhere would be better than here. 

Author's Note

I don't know hearted can be used, but i used it.
Don't analyse this poem too much, but give it a read.

Tell me what you think :)

Reviews

[Brittany Zedalis]

╰☆╮Such a heartbreaking sense of loneliness...but beautiful poetry all the same. Nicely done.╰☆╮

[Brook]

Thank you, Britt.

[ashesonfire]

Very nice poem, and very sad too!

A few grammatical errors (capitalization mostly), but a good piece.

[Brook]

Thank you.

[Stefanie Holmes]

Two suggestions for you... you don't need to use though if you feel it unnecessary.
I would capitalize your i's so they are proper (I'm a stickler for that). And when you wrote the number '9' I would spell in out to read 'Nine'. I just think it would look better in the poem for you to flow with the rest of the piece. Just my opinion though! :)
Overall I liked the story behind the poem and enjoyed the read!

~Stefanie

[Brook]

Will do.
Thanks, Stef.

[Simon Welsh]

Nicely written. We've all felt that isolation.

[Brook]

Thanks, Elliott.

[Sandipan Majhi]

a freedom for the feelings long bound. good poem and a nice read. ..

[Brook]

Thank you, very much.

[Saddam]

Broken hearted from all the things those kids had
said. Will they love me when i disappear?
Surely anywhere would be better than here.

Sometimes we feel we are not able to live here or I must be not here but that time you are wrong. Let show the others you are a part of time. Sadly a dark like poetry. Don't think negetive.

[Brook]

When i'm feeling negative, it consumes me. So everything that say is negative.
I can assure you i'm not negative always, it's a 50/50.

[Saddam]

increase your persent though you are a beautiful and your soul is light and most of all your write is fabulous.

[Not Your Typical New Yo..]

The playground is really the first time kids experience bullying, and understanding where they belong and who they belong with, what group. I remember a lot of playground memories, such as when these group of popular girls kicked me out of one area, because they didn't want me there. For some reason that still haunts me.

[Brook]

It is.
I don't think anybody ever truly forgets

[A. Amos]

sharp and smart write and every single word you wrote make sense and so related to everyday life...just amazing

[Brook]

Thank you, Amos.

[Madalyn Beck]

Fantastic. Sadly, this is the life that plays around us all. Great write! :)

[Brook]

Thank you. It is, indeed.

[Jack...]

I think it makes perfect sense to me and I know how this 9 year old feels or felt...in my case it is felt. I know this subject is everywhere nowadays, but many, many...many years ago I was this 9 year old, before anyone cared...when it was just teasing and kids will be kids.

Very nicely written Brook...hope I didn't analyse it too much.

[Brook]

It is everywhere. I was this 9 year old too, 8 years ago. It is everywhere now, more people are aware and seem to care. I was always told "If a boy is mean to you, he likes you." or "Just stay away." Hey, you got through it. You're a wonderful guy.

Thank you, Jack. You didn't at all :) Thank you for reading!