Mommy

A Poem by Brokensoule

My poem to my mother

Why do you love brother mommy with him you're always impressed.
As a baby why didn't you take me home mommy at the hospital is where I was left.
Why did you let my childhood get ruined mommy in every possible way. You sent me to uncle's house where he would touch me and make me bleed for 3 years every single day.
When he tried to kill me Mommy I let out one final screen.
When I told you about it mommy you stroked my hair and said "baby girl it was all a dream".
Why do you hit me so hard Mommy was it something I said.
Dose it warm your heart when you throw a knife at me and say "slit your wrist" and wish me dead.
Why do you rip my hair out mommy I'm only trying to be pretty for you.
You say I should have died at birth to deserve that what did I do.
Why did you make me sleep outside on the deck mommy when brother had his own room.
I believed your lies mommy when you said I could come back in when my daddy got home soon.
Why did brother get everything mommy you never treated him like dirt.
When I was lucky if I owned a pair of socks and a worn out shirt.
Why did you leave me homeless mommy not just me but also your amazing grandson.
I ask why you like to see my tears mommy you reply with a smile "because ruining your life is fun".
Why is it your life's purpose mommy to make sure I fail.
My heart is weak mommy and my soul is getting frail.
Every time I need you mommy you laugh and say "Amanda you'll never make it far"
How can you say that mommy when the farthest you ever made it was the pain clinic or bar.
You took the only thing I've ever loved mommy you finally have won.
You stabbed me with a dull rusty knife a million times mommy you took away my son.
Don't you realize I'm dying mommy I'm slipping and can't hang on much longer.
You're killing me slowly mommy when you should be making me stronger.
Why are you never happy mommy you're never grateful for what you had.
I hear your devilish thoughts mommy on how you wish you could kill my dad.
Life is hard enough as it is mommy I'm seriously about to let go.
There is this agonizing torturous pain deep inside mommy, a darkness you'll never know.
My life is already destined for darkness mommy I'll never see the light.
I'm battling my demons and you mommy I'm seconds away from giving up both fights.
You're taking my son far away from me mommy reality runs through my head.
People think I'm happy and joyfull mommy but deep down I'm already dead.
I'll tell you a secret mommy I'm finally going to let you in.
I've thought long and hard mommy and congratulations you finally win.
Some people are just too tired mommy to unbelievably exhausted to keep being strong.
I'm on the verge of going insane mommy but I guess that was your plan all along.
People are going to tell me to be strong mommy to never say you have won.
But What they don't understand is after 25 years of this heart and soul shattering pain there's no more trying I'm just done.