you lose

you lose

A Poem by Tellie Allen

you were my everything until u left

you never shead a tear

you watched me fall apart in your hands

and said you lose

well now its been 2 years i finally moved on
all you say is i want you back

and that you cant leave me be

all i can say is you lose

last night you call

 we scream and we fight

i told you i want you out of my life

this time old love

 YOU LOSE

© 2012 Tellie Allen


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Reviews

I like when the karma of life is returned. People learn they held a good person in their life too late. I did like the strong ending. People rarely will change. Best to escape before the pain will be repeated. Thank you for the excellent poetry.
Coyote

Posted 12 Years Ago


This happens all too often. I like the concept, for sure--the irony. It kinda reminds me of my poem "Love Me, Right?" in its subject matter if nothing else. I think you could use more eloquent language to express your ideas and make this into an all-around great piece. =)
KH

Posted 12 Years Ago


I love this poem. It's great.
But you haven't capitalised your 'I's and you wrote 'u' instead of 'you' in the first line. There is no punctuation...
But other than that, I love it. It has a good rhythm and flow.
Well done
xx

Posted 12 Years Ago



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Added on April 20, 2012
Last Updated on April 20, 2012

Author

Tellie Allen
Tellie Allen

Meridian, ID



About
Writing is in my blood Its how i communicate. Welcome to my world. Emotions, situations, and thoughts. Im just as crazy as you would expect. Lots of trauma and healing will be exposed. Luckily .. more..

Writing