Before

I was told I would never find someone who made me feel special... I was told I was never good enough for anyone...

I still doubt that I’m all he says I am. I doubt that I am still what my ex thinks I am. He thinks I am perfect he thinks I was the best he had... he is wrong.

I always warn a guy a head of time I will f**k up our relationship. Whether it is purposely or by accident well that I have no control over. I also don’t know how I will do it but I will. Again I always do. We have been together a month and already I have fallen so fast I may have hit the ground not knowing... is this what love is like?

When the one you love is gone a piece of your heart breaks and when it beats, it burns. I hate the feeling.

I choke on my tears. I shake. I cry.... I hate love. It breaks me and tears me until I am nothing... I love him more than life itself...

I love him so much that I let him go. He could have stayed.... but I didn’t let it happen.... I know the saying is true that if you let something go and it comes back it was yours... but if it doesn’t then you never really had it..... Why does it have to be so true? he is constantly telling me he loves me and wants to be with me forever, but that’s what my ex said and I ended up kissing my best friend in the park in the rain... well two days later I almost got laid.... not by choice I swear...

When I told certain people… well even then it spread like a sickly, possibly deadly virus. Normally I would have cared… but I didn’t this time.

As time went by I forgave my unwanted pleasurer… if fact we ended up dating… for a week… Homecoming. Isn’t it suppose to rock a girls world like prom? Mine did… just until I found out all this time it was a pity thing.

He had a very well thought out plan. Phase one invade her innoceince. When that failed it was phase two, earn her trust back. Sadly he did. Then phase three: take her to Homecoming, then get her drunk, then hit it and quit it.

That phase failed… See he had told my best friends boyfriend the plan. Who shared it with me. I had to think of a pay back plan. Only thing stopping me was I couldn’t. So all in all I dumped him. It ruined the night but I rather have been miserable then crushed.