chapter 9

       i obviously wasn't keeping track of time or where i was going.all i knew was i had traveled far from my little town. i had checked my phone its eleven. i dont have a clue in the world as to where i am, but to be honest i dont care. i past by signs and billboards. where ever i was, it was gorgous. i past a sign that nearly made me faint. WELCOME TO TWIN FALLS, IDAHO. i started running in the opposite direction, but i hit the warm concrete when a flash of light startled me. i turned to where i was able to see my damage. i couldnt walk or even manage to get on my feet. the light got closer. the sound of tennishoes grew louder and louder.

         "Hey are you ok?"

         " Ya i just might need help getting to the hospital or something."

         "Do you need a place to stay?"

         "Um actually yeah i do."

    The man helped me up andover to his car. it was so dark but the man seemed to be in his teenager years. so about eighteen. he drove a nice pick up truck. one that seems like jake describes he has been in. should i see if heknows him?

     "Do you know a guy named jake?"

     "Um is he around eighteenish kind of religous?"

      "has a younger sister? about my age?"

      "yeah sounds about right."

    Hmmm maybe he can drop me off there? "Do you um think that maybe you could drop me off there on the way back from the hospital?"

    "Sure. lets just focus on getting to the hospital first."

*                                    *           *                    *

            "Yup Ashley your ankle is definetly broken."

         S**t... "I figured that."

           "So it needs to remain in a boot for at least six months"

            SIX MONTHS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "Six months. um doctor doesnt that seem a bit long?"

          "Not when you have torn tendons."

 

*   *                                   *                                  *

         "thanks for the ride."

“least I could do after all if it wasn’t for me you wouldn’t be in that boot.”

“haha so um may I ask who my awesome hero maybe?”

“Oh the name is Sam. And you are?”

“Ashley. Im jake’s girlfriend.”

“Ah so I finally meet the famous Ashley.”

“Famous?”

“Yeah Jake doesn’t shut up about you.”

I blushed hearing that, “really?”

“Your like his life. His inspiration. That’s why he is so good at acting. He is dramatic.”

“I know that. He exagrretaes everything.”

“Oh why do you say that?”

“Because he does. I mean he is so dramatic that’s why he is prefect for drama. He even gets excited when Lady Gaga writes a new song. Or if Glee is on its like boom insta drama king.”

 

“I understand that feeling. I was in drama with him. Now I understood why he was always the lead.”

“Why because he actually fits the roles of those he is pretending to be?”

“Yes and no. I mean well… He is very talent and he knows what he is doing… Its just he takes it too far sometimes.”

“Oh I know. He practiced on the phone to me once and I kind of got bored but at the same time intrigued.”

“Like I said he is good.”

It got quiet in the car. Either we both ran out of topics or we just got tired. I enjoyed talking to Sam. Him being Jake’s friend all really helped.

“So if you live in Boise, how did you meet Jake?”

“Oh my step brother at the time was dating this girl and said that Jake was harassing her. So of coarse he needed my phone. They worked it out then Jake needed advise but it was the kind that needed a girls help. So I talk to him. And then we flirted and we texted things. Then I one day said I was going on a date with a guy. I could tell it bothered him but he just wished me luck. Well that same day he called up and asked me not to go on the date. I was flattered, but I didn’t understand until he asked me out. We have been dating ever since.’

“Wow… Um how long?”

“Oh I would say about a year now.”

“And the girls name was?”

“Monette…”

Awkward silence… “She is really something you know that?”

“Um yeah she has been trying to hook him up with other girls I do know. She is a back stabbing b***h.”

“Ah so you got to see that side of her too?”

“Yup. Then she dated one of friends… The b***h threw him away like a used piece of paper. She cheated on him the whole time too.”

“She isn’t even that pretty.”

“I agree.”

“I mean she can be if she was nicer then yeah she’d be pretty but because she think she is all that and acts like a total b***h she is well ugly.”

“Is Jake still friends with her?”

“Nope. He can’t stand her from what he has said. But I know I am. And never will be again.”

“Same here. Been there done that.”

“So are you a senior this year like Jake?”

“Nah. I’m only a junior. What about you?”

“I’m a sophomore.”

“Wow isn’t Jake like 17 going on 18?”

“Yeah. But I’m 15 going on 16. It’s only a two year difference.”

“Doesn’t seem all that bad.”

“According to my parents it is. I mean they don’t care we are together, they just don’t like it.”

“Well they are afraid for both of you that’s why. So are you planning on going to school here?”

“I don’t know. I want to go to the same school as him but I just I don’t know if I can.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well my mom she only has me and my sister and my sister hardly leaves her room anymore so if I’m not there than wow will protect and care for my mom.”

“What is your mom sick? Is she old?”

“No she isn’t sick and not really only 37 I mean I don’t think its that old but you tell that to her.”

“So why would she need to depend on you so much?”

“Because I do everything. I cook and clean I am the mom. They don’t do crap. And if the house isn’t done then she guilt trips me. She makes me feels as if I’m the bad person. As if I never do a thing.”

“Sounds as if you are getting emotionally abused. Maybe even mentally.”

“I was abused. I mean my mom saved me from my dad. He use to beat me with every ounce of his being. Forgetting I am his  only thing left of her.”

“Her referring to your mom?”

“Yes and my grandmother. She passed on my sixth birthday and since that day he has beaten me.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah so you can probably tell cause I’m a little slow. The doctor said all that  abuse messed up my learning process. If I want to learn things I have to repeat them over and over again. Its like a broken record in my head. I have massive headaches from it. I hate it so much.”

“It sounds horrible. No person should have to go threw that.”

“They shouldn’t and yet I did. And so do many others. But its not our fault. We don’t control our future. We cant do a thing we have to except it.”

“That’s not fair though. I mean you would think out of any parent your mom would be the one to hold you when you cry. Who do you run to? Who do you talk to?”

I couldn’t believe I was telling a complete stranger my thoughts and my past. But I was and it felt good. “I don’t run to anyone. I’m my own saver. I write how I feel down. Or I bottle it up. Either way no one is there.”

“That’s not healthy. I mean writing that is but to bottle this up for what 16 years. To have no one you can trust help you. It has to hurt.”

“It does. I constantly feel alone and lost. As if this world is  against  me. Me verses the world. And the world is winning. And every time I face an obstacle and win the world knocks me down and strikes me with more suffering and pain. As  if  life  isn’t enough.”

“So I take it you wont even run to Jake?”

“I can’t he just doesn’t understand the pain. He doesn’t get what goes on in my head. Or the fact that 90% of the time I’m faking life is good and amazing. If  he knew this he’d think I’m psycho. That  I  belong in a crazy home. I think about suicide and that if I did it this place would be better off. I feel as if every one I know has turned their back on me. And  left. I feel alone all the time. I just can’t have this going on in  Jake’s  head. It could ruin us.”

“Its sounds  as if you have  depression. Or anxiety.”

“I have both. I’m not taking medications. I refuse. I won’t see a therapist.  They’d tell my mom.”

“So your letting yourself  be alone?”

“No. I wish  my best  friend understood. I’d love to talk to her. But she doesn’t.”

Author's Note

i appoligixe for the weird font my computer is freaking out :D