Chapter 1: The Beginning

Life…. It slows down. Then when you least expect it, moves fast. Like that huge roller coaster you try for the first time. Slowly moving forward, but then unexpectedly moving faster. Your hair flying threw the wind. Your arms swaying as you move. You try to catch your breath, but all you can do is scream.

Well that’s how life for me is. One minute I feel like its moving slowly, the next it flies by. Either that or I just move slowly. I feel like that sometimes. Like the world has to slow itself down just so I can catch up.

I…..  I use that word to much. I could use me or Crystal. Crystal would be to weird though. I would feel as if I were speaking in third person.

Which is another thing. Always being the third person. Whether its at "home" when my two older brothers always are first and second. Even on my birthday. Then there are my "friends", Ashley and Steven. They know I'm here, but its like I'm always the last person to know everything. They keep secrets, they hangout then ask me even when they know I can't.

I feel like a loner. Unable to like people. Or even trust them. People are different. But mainly at this school. I remember when I first came here. Ashley and Steven were the only other goths here. Well them and Austin. But he doesn't notice us, unless he is talking to Steven about the newest death metal bands. Accasionally he will talk to me and ask about my new appearing tas or my earrings. But other than that he stays by himself.

People fear him. Mainly girls. I don't see why though. I mean the way his black hair covers his eyes or the way his earrings never match, its attractive. His skinny jeans with the chains are even hotter. His tight black t-shirt showing evryone how built he is. I just don't see why girls fear him.

Anyway, I moved to Santa Monica, California a month before school started. Its hot here and always sunny. But at least at night its dark and perfectly quiet. And the only animals out aren't even animals really. They are bugs, or they can be animals. That don' like it here, or they do. THey just prefer to lurk and search for prey. I have always wanted to see a bat. They are just so pretty and amazing.

Santa Monica is so different from the other places that I have stayed at. Like Seattle, Washington. Its pretty and the weather is perfect. Cold and wet. Rainy and foggy. Its impossible to tan there. But here my fair skin can't take it. It burn before it would tan. and I would never want that.

Another place that I hated the weather in was Phoenix, Arizona. You were constantly putting on sun screen. I did love Phoenix though. So many goths lived there. I lived there most of my life. Until my dad met wife number four. Which didn't last that long. Neither did wife number five. After awhile I gave up and moved to Santa Monica with my mom. At least I know she can commit.

She has lived here her whole life. She was only married once. And it wasn't my dad. She couldn't handle him emotionally. And I use to think she was being over dramatic. But now not so much. He could barely take care of me let alone himself. I think thats why all his ex-wives left him. He's an "emotional" roller coaster. Which is not the same as the "life" roller coaster. Its alittle more complex. With the "emotional" roller coaster one minute your happy, then boom your pissed, and then your sad. With the "life" roller coaster it either moves to faster or to slow. Get it?

I also experience the "emothinal" roller coaster. Except its more like this: pain, suffering, and there the "here and there" pleasure of being happy. Which is hardly ever. I don't find happiness to be all to pleasuring. But then again when do goths?

So you know who I am and then some. But you really don't know someone. Even if you walk up to someone and be their "friend" and you learn about them. You still don't know them. Even when you thought you did.

Author's Note

ignore grammar problems

Reviews

[The old me]

looks like this will be a good story