An Angel is born

First real writing piece I did. Feedback?

'Bang, Bang, Bang!' A young girl about 8 years old swung her arms and legs. The chains that bound her clanged as she moved about. She was laid on an old, dirty mattress in an equally dirty basement. It smelt of sweaty old man. The young girl had dull blue eyes void of any innocence, her long blonde hair was ratted and in a desperate need of a washing. She wore a ripped bright blue sundress, bite marks and hickeys adorned her body. Tear stains, old and new, tainted her once angelic face. As she felt herself slowly slipping into an unconscious state of mind she heard a dreadful sound. Heavy footsteps came towards her tattered and torn body. "No one gave you permission to sleep my pet." The man who held her life in his hands, said distastefully towards her. She looked up at him and with a sullen look she said, "I'm sorry, I can't stay any longer, Jesus has come to get me. Will you please tell my mommy I love her and will watch over her." And with tears threatening to fall at any given moment she closed her eyes and fell asleep as she felt herself being lifted up and out of her body. In front of her was a bright white light, a soft hand caressed her face and said, "My child, you have been brave. You're suffering is over, pain is a stranger and peace is ahead. Go my child for your happiness is waiting for you." And with a tearstained smile she walked towards the bright light meant for her.

Reviews

[The Nude Writer]

Wow! Heartbreaking. Worst part is, this really happens :( thanks for sharing. Glad she got to go home.

[Breanna]

Thanks I think this subject is really undervalued in society, so that's why I wrote it.

[The Nude Writer]

I agree.. Well done