Is it really my fight?

My fight? or Yours?

I don’t choose to hurt; but I live for the pain….

 

I breathed deeply and held it. My hand reached for the handle and held it for a moment as I stood there at my back door. I took another deep breath as if it may be my last, turned the handle and walked in.

“Do you know what she’s doing?” he said without even looking at me.

The anger was all over his face. He wanted me to hate her. He wanted me to be like him.

“She’s f*****g other men,” he replied to my silence.

I shook my head out of reaction. I walked past him like it would make him disappear or leave me alone. I marched right to my room with my only goal to close my door and lock out the world. I was half way up the stairs when the buzzing of my phone almost caught his attention. I hopped up the last two and slammed the door with a loud bang.

“Are you there?” asked the voice over the phone. I remained silent.

“He’s calling me fat, ugly, and I can’t take it anymore,” the voice cried. Was this happening really? Why are they haunting me? I just want an escape. Jumping out of my freshly made bed I close my phone and speed to my closet. A giant garbage bag lie on the ground. I grab it and stuff clothes inside of it hurriedly without even looking at what I’m putting in. I stomp down the stairs.

He remained there like a statue. I rushed past him and all he could do was snarl and sniff as I did.

They followed wherever I went. I jumped in my car and once again my phone buzzed. I pressed silence on it. Buzz. Again, I hit silent.

Buzz.

“No,” I said outloud to myself.

Buzz.

“Stop it! Leave me alone. This is not my fight. Leave me alone!” I screamed and hang up. My breath was escaping my lungs as fast as it could. Reality sank in.

This is my fight.

These are my demons.

The questions though…the questions were the hard ones to answer.

“How do I fight them? How do I save my life when the demons I face are…”

I could barely get the words out.

“Mom…Dad…why do you do this to me?”

Author's Note

any kind of feedback is great