My Diary to Getting Over You part 1

A Story by BrokenSmiles

Recently got out of a 4 year relationship and this is my way of moving on.

This is my diary to getting over you.

I’ve decided that writing down my troubles may possibly make things easier. I think telling people the same things over and over has gotten tiring for them, and me. Moving on from you has been one of the hardest challenges in my life, and its crazy to think that i am the one who chose this.

It’s been 4 months since we’ve broken up. That’s a third of a year. A third of a year I have lived without you. A third of my year i’ve woken up in the mornings, alone. A third of the year i’ve told myself over and over again that i am over you but i know that i am not, because if i were over you I wouldnt think of you so much. But i think this is normal considering our circumstances.

I remember the day that I met you, almost 5 years ago now. I remember sitting in biology class when Nate came up to me and told me about this boy who sat with him at lunch. He told me this boy was crazy about me, the second he saw me he had to know who i was. He had to be with me. I remember laughing at him. Being 16 and having heard it all, i never expected that this boy would be you, and that i would spend the next 4 years of my life letting you destroy me. That day was a Friday, and it wasn’t till next Monday in English class that i thought of you again. This time it was Etderick who came up to me telling me the same things about you. This time it caught my attention a little more, because Etderick had said that you were asking everyone about me. Of course i knew everyone, and everyone knew me. It was our first year of high school and we were a couple months in, but i had known mostly everyone from middle school or from parties over the summer. You had come from a different middle school, moved here over the summer and were here to stay. No one knew you. The first time i saw you i didnt know it was you. There was some assembly going on in school that day and all the lunches were mixed up. I was sitting at a table with a big group of my friends and i saw Nate walking above the staircase that lead down to the tables. Next to Nate was you. Your hair was long and dark, people liked to call it “justin bieber hair” but i liked to call it skater boy hair. You were wearing a black t shirt and dark skinny jeans, and you were looking right at me. It took you two more days to find me on facebook. I logged on after school one day and there is was, a friend request from Kyle. I added you, and almost immediately you messaged me “Hey:)”. Sometimes i wish i could go back to that day and never accept your friend request. Sometimes i wonder if you were worth all the pain that you caused me. I dream about going back to my 16 year old self and holding her as she cries herself to sleep every night over a boy who will never truly understand.