To Whom This May Concern

To whom this may concern,

Everyone was busy. Papers were piling up like Mt. Olympus high. But he needed help with recruitment.

We were both working in the same field. Human Resource. But, different companies. We always find time to help each other. So, I gave my recommendations.

I received a text message.

“Marie just applied for Marketing Assistant.”

“It’s Marié. Marie is different from Marié. Good. And has someone sent you an e-mail of their application? I told a friend to send it to you within the day.”

“Not yet. Qualifications should be either handsome, awesome, and genius like I am.”

I gave a faint sigh. “Sometimes, I regret helping you.”

“I’m one of a kind. Sorry if you can’t meet my self-standards.”

Frankly, he was full of ideas. Everyone is. But, he was the one who actually puts those ideas into action. And most of the time, he is just so full of himself. Good thing it’s bearable. Or maybe, I am just being too kind and patient.

Right now, he is looking for someone to replace him in his current job. He is going away soon to find himself. And I hate that he is. What can I do? I can’t stop him.

“Standards? Obnoxious, stubborn, mulish, and narcissistic? Yup. There is no other like you. You’re a special case.”

He was. I think i’m the only one who could bear him. Sometimes, he can also be awkward, goofy, and caring. Too caring. I like it. I’ve grown on him. And now, he is going away.

It has been an awful month for us. I mean, we aren’t together. But it has been more than a year of constantly seeing each other, holding hands, long walks, kissing, and all the things that couples do. And we are not even a couple. What are we then?

He told me he loved me. He said he meant it. But, he was constantly talking to some other woman. He knew he hurt me. The next day, he told me to let him go. It hurt him too. But we got past through that and became okay. Or so, I think. I wouldn’t know. I’m going to miss him.

He’s off to find himself in a few weeks. He said he loves me but he isn’t totally over his ex-girlfriend for 5 years. He can’t give himself to me if it isn’t 100%. I know he means well. But, right now, I have no idea what to do.

We have a lot of questions. Am I going to wait? What if this is not going to work out? He even asked me last time “What if in the end, it isn’t you?” The pain of hearing that question. We were crying to each other.

It’s one big mess. Right now, I’m trying my best to act happy for him. Someone has to stay strong. For a guy, he’s too emotional. I have been trying to pull myself together for him. But, I snapped when I knew he started seeing someone.

That was 4 days ago. Now, we’re talking like nothing has happened again or maybe pretending that everything is fine when it’s not.

I just hope that before he leaves, we get to some conclusion. I hope everything will be well.

Always,
BP