I'm Sorry

I look at you and I see myself. And I know you better than anyone else. At least I thought I did. I messed up it's all I ever do. I tried to tell you but you wouldn't listen. I ended up getting hurt this time. I thought I was the one that was trying to protect you from me. I never thought that you trying to protect me from myself would end up getting me hurt. It seems like your shutting me out, and I have no clue how to deal with it. I never wanted to lose you and it seems like that is the exact thing I did. I should have never trusted myself with this. I knew I would screw it up, but I never thought it would be so easy for you to shut me out. I guess that’s what hurts the most. Knowing that I’m not good enough for you because you can do a lot better than me. I let myself live a dream again, and that dream shattered in an instant the moment I picked up that first drink. The demons are coming to get me again. I can't deal with the nightmares anymore. I’m sorry for not being the strong person everyone thought I was.