Where I'm From

I am from the middle of no where

From animals and mud

I am from the ashes in the fire pit

I am from the dirt beneath our feet

 

I am from the black on my fingertips

The graphite on the page

I am from the darkness of the moon

The stars in the night sky

 

I am from yelling in the wind

From the shut up and sit down

To the every things fine and shattered pieces on the ground

The broken house to the happiness in the voices

 

I am from bullets and practice

From be careful and have fun

To good job and try again

I am from the shells on the ground

And the loading of a new round

 

I am from the smell of meat on the grill

With fire blowing in the wind

To the hose on the ground

And the swing set squeaking in the wind.

Reviews

[Abi Will]

Wonderful use of imagery! It was quiet unexpectedly good to read until the end. I felt like there should of been something else after the last stanza. A definitive place or some abstract location. It all sounds good, but sounding good is not enough. I think the style has been done before though, so I'll rate a bit more harshly. I also felt some of the imagery was contradictory, but that may be because no place could be inferred. Definitely not perfect, but nothing is. Never strive for perfection, but to just be better than you were yesterday. Message me if you want to know anything in specific or just say "F**k that guy; what does he know?" Ta-ta for now!

[TwilightSky2003]

BrokenAngel messaged you then..?

[annalysiar]

Very nice. Great rhyme and flow

[Winter-est]

Astonished! I enjoyed this very much. It is perfect!