Unanswered

There's a safe inside me,

and its safe inside.

Somewhere I can always hide.

Hide from my thoughts,

and memories alike,

were you too young to know what those are like?

But as a light lost in light,

I am lost in the memories I like.

Yet somehow I always lose the fight.

But I will not cry at night,

until my flight is over.

Because over doesn't mean what it used to,

and I'm over it.

There are many differences now,

and I'm over them.

However sunlight breaking through the boughs

draws tears,

and it breaks with the promises

that those same tears would water that tree one day.

Because on the outside,

it's breaking with bright light,

but on the inside it's breaking,

and through the cracks water is leaking,

like the tears I promised I wouldn't shed.

The circle of life,

flooding at the roots of my feet.

but my feet are worn and tired,

and my mind is flooded with questions...

questions the tree could never answer.

 

 

 

Reviews

[Andrew Nelson Stewart]

Full of pain and how eloquently you speak (the hideout) as a way of escaping and embedding yourself in memories. In the line " I am lost in the memories I like.Yet somehow I always lose the fight." The Nostalgia is very potent in the process of reminiscence. How one completely immersed oneself into the depths of (missing too much) consumes your entire being. I felt the presence of the dam in the middle of the poem, How it's leaking out of you no matter the restraints on it. Longer locked up like the tears hanging in the soul will inevitably come out in uglier ways. Loved the line " and through the cracks water is leaking, like the tears I promised I wouldn't shed." Keep writing sincerely your friend in writing and life :)

[Broken.]

Thank you so much for stopping to visit! You hit the nail on the head quite honestly in almost every way. Sometimes the longing and nostalgia does get to me. But alas the show must go on! Cheers

[Andrew Nelson Stewart]

Cheers.. Looking forward reading more from you.

[barleygirl]

Overall I love your message, stated with bitterness & balance, very realistic for the way people sometimes feel when jaded, but trying to make the best of things. Most of all, I love the way you use repetition thru-out to emphasize & re-emphasize a thing, but also to twist the meaning a little with the repetition, showing more than one side of what you mean by that. This word-crafting cleverness almost distracts me from the overall message, becuz it makes your message hit so spot-on (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Broken.]

Thank you for taking the time to visit and review! At first I thought it was too much, but then I wanted to see how far I could go with it. Haha

[John the Baptist]

The past weighs heavily on the speaker in this one. I get the impression one trauma too many has taken its toll, and that the memories of those experiences have stunted the ability to enjoy life. There seems to be a tendency to abide in pleasant memories to dull the pain, but this coping mechanism precludes the appreciation of what might be happening in the present. The use of the tree as a symbol for the speaker is very effective, for it tells us under the normal facade lies a well of unhappiness. May all of this change for the better.

[Broken.]

Thank you for the generous review. It's true. So many thoughts went into this piece as I attempted to sum up my feelings of the past. I'm glad that at least, shone bright. Cheers

[light and ashes]

These are really great lines. This is the best part of the poem, in my opinion. I did, however, enjoy the poem in it's entirety.
"The circle of life,
flooding at the roots of my feet.
but my feet are worn and tired,
and my mind is flooded with questions...
questions the tree could never answer."

[Broken.]

Thank you for taking the time to review! I love that the ending is your favorite. I try to make it the most impactful part of my stories.

[light and ashes]

Well, you did a good job on this one.

[Chris Shaw]

Trees make good metaphors. They have feelings too. Thanks for the read.


Chris

[Broken.]

Somehow I missed this one! Thank you for reading and reviewing! Much love xx

[Davidgeo]

I love it.

But you have a word economy issue after line 20 or so.

[Deandra Dawn]

To the depths of honesty...incredible, honest, raw. Nicely done.

[pasdepoisson]

"But as a light lost in light,
I am lost in the memories I like."
That's the gem of this peice. The tree metaphor reminds me of "The Nausea", where Sartre's Roquentin contemplates the existence of the root and the futility of suicide. Only your vision is much more positive. :)

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

This is brilliant work. I love the wordplay. You've created echoes of sounding emotion.

[Break The Broken]

i loved the flow! great job, it was really deep! c: