Awakening Etheree

For my creative writing class, I've been given a packet of quite a few different kinds of poems, and the assignment is to write my own using the decriptions and examples.

The poetry form, Etheree, consists of  10 lines of 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 syllables. Etheree’s can also be reversed and written 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Double Etheree: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

 

Awakening Etheree

She’s

Shaking

Her body

Aching for more

She waits for her love

Under the old oak tree

At around three he appears

A paper in hand as he nears

On a folded little square reads “It’s you.”

She would have never guessed it said, “We’re through.”

Author's Note

More practice (:

Reviews

[pasdepoisson]

Again, interesting form and you use it well. The emotional switch in the last line is ironic and struck me as really funny at first, then sad, especially since the previous lines work well romantically. The sort of pyramid of syllables works in reverse with the old oak tree image-- it's almost as though the oak spreads out as the poem expands, starting with just her and eventually the whole scene fills, saving the emotional resonance for last.

[Elizabeth]

The last two lines really made this piece. I enjoyed it. Well done.

[Mark Wallace]

Very good, especially the ending, which is unexpected and shows an appealing wry humour. Also, you manage to tell a story within the very restrictive form of an etheree, which is good.

[r]

you continue to do a great job.... keep up the nic
e work

[Kelley]

girl you like these math poems don't you....smiles
Well your good at it so keep it up.

[fireblossom]

lol...I wrote this form in my twenties but never knew what it was. I started from 1 went to 10 and back to 1. I'm gonna dig that stuff up one of these days. It's all hand written on tablets in some dusty box.

Thanks for sharing your practice. It is inspiring to see a young student of writing with your talent.

Jan