SHOOP. Part II

 

“Must you talk to yourself when you do that, Pam? You sound like an old Bond villain.”

 

There was a low snort that didn’t escape Pam’s notice. The woman noticed everything but her own noxious body odor.

 

“Where is your cell phone, Jimmy?” asked Pam, and though she didn’t turn in the slightest to speak, her voice, whimsical and light, floated over her shoulder and into Jimmy’s ears as if she had.

 

“F**k that, you evil b***h,” said Jimmy. A grin spread across his thin, stubble covered face. He sat in an old and cracked leather  EZ chair, conjured by Pam as a birthday gift last October. “I learned how to block your mojo after you sent AIDS out of my cell and into my face after I ate your salami and provolone sandwich. Two years ago, you remember? I was days away from death when I discovered the garlic to block your particular brand of vampirism.”

 

Jimmy sniggered again. This time, he didn’t bother to hide his amusement. His nose wrinkled under the assault of the combined smells of the trashy room and Pam’s poor hygiene, but he laughed anyway. Sometimes, s**t was just too funny to bother being proper about.

 

“Don’t laugh too hard, Jim,” said Pam, tapping away at the worn keys of her cell phone. Her 75^th phone, nearly worn to bits. Soon, she would need to send Jimmy to buy another one. Strange, that was. For some reason, she was utterly unable to draw a new weapon from within the depths of the old. “I’m still working on a way to get past that little barrier.”

 

Jimmy sneered and popped the tab of a warm can of Sprite.

 

“When that day comes,” he said, “I’ll be sure to treat you with the respect due a monster like you. Until then, I’ll keep telling you to wipe my a*s when you piss me off.”

 

Pam sighed and continued to form a unique text message spell for a pair of strangers who nonetheless had a very powerful connection to her.

 

A woman and daughter.

Reviews

[Logan Carryall]

Ha, Pam you evil b***h. I love this. Where is it heading? I am hooked.

SHOOP pt. 1 was great in imagery, and was seamless in direction. I think you have seriously crafted your abilities well, and it's getting better. Your movement from description to action is quick, yet intriguing, and has the fine edge of a true writer. I love your line breaks--but thats always been true. Your slight elaboration's teach me alot about the characters, and you keep it raw and real! "Cut that c**t out with a pen knife..." S**t...hahaha.

SHOOP pt. 2 looses nothing and brings us to super villains hide out. Casting one enormous mathematically flawed a*s, and a straight man. I love how you end it, coming back to the family our hero is rushing for. And will you meet us up with Wanda again? I like that character's insight.

I got to say Brody, your getting better and better. This style is addictive, keep building it up!!--and I promise to give some serious reviews.

Keep it goin'!!
_Logan