Your School's Weird Kid

I've always been fascinated with eclectic kids especially where most people don't have the maturity to respect their differences. We all had them or were them. This one goes terribly wrong.

"People are fragile things, you should know by now.

  Careful what you put them through......"

                        - Corinne Bailey Rae, "Munich"

 

 YOUR SCHOOL'S

      "Weird Kid"

by Brjden "WearingATrenchCoat" Crewe

 

 

“8:48 A.M.”

            I Wait...

I wait in front of the

John Tate High School building, that I hate

Dad's 12 gauge Mossberg

inside the embrace of my hands

with a pain that I couldn't explain

but you know what?...

No one gives a damn

          So I wait……

And in two minutes, the bell’s gonna ring

And then the hallway will be flooded with so many

mindless sheep and prom kings and Homecoming queens the football team and wannabes

And I'm a kill as many as I can, so then I'll be free

     And I wait…

               Right here, at 8:48

 

because I hate the way you people stare

and try to escape my simple presence  

and point and laugh at me like I’m a freak

Or a beast that you can catch a disease from

If you got close to me!!

 

The teachers think I’m strange

and they treat me just the same

though they’re trained to educate me

but then barely know my name!

I just wanna be ME without having to be explained

Accepted as an original,

Without playing your games

Yeah my music may be different,

I think yours is as well

That doesn’t mean we can’t talk

And be friends inside of this cell

So what I dress this way?

And my hair’s the way it is?

But I'm about to make even

on all the evil you did!

All the names and the undeserved pain

You stupid kids will feel my, emotional torment

in the form of bullets pouring though your skin

just for ignoring it!

 

Mr. Fielder's first on my list

when in front of the other kids,

Told a “weirdo” joke at my expense,  

Without recognizing the damage it did

 

Laughed and laughed, they all did

as I sat with hidden tears

a quiet rage built on the inside for the past three years

 

“8:49 ”

It’s almost time…

But now I hesitate…

   This isn’t me!

Though I dreamed of doing this,

can I really,

REALLY GO THROUGH WITH THIS?!?

Condensation orbits my hands  

And I start to feel sick

I can’t do this

The gun is lowered and I seemingly quit

But I just can’t forget

The hurt received because of my unacceptable characteristics, feeds a hate to react deadly causing deplorable shrieks at YOUR expense and your momentary apologies and desperate, phony pleads will surely be, the very last words from you, spoken to me!

 

Memories of people pointing and laughing leads to visions of those very same people bleeding and gasping

And then I think of my father packing

that duffle bag and forcing me to leave

Just because I’m not the vision

of whom he wants me to be

And that feeds…It feeds my own need to now proceed with killing you all today

which will kill this demon inside of me!!

 

I want to consume their fear as I stand confidently above them as they cry

And frantically beg for their lives

Then I can laugh and shine inside

 

I want to digest the pictures I paint of the bullets devouring their flesh as their chests graphically explode as their bodies begin to turn cold, their spirits claim their inevitable death!

 

My adrenaline suggests an eager happiness  

I pump on the gauge as the red stick on the clock glides right past the eight...

 

  “20 seconds”

This is for all those kids who threw things and picked on me constantly, saying “Josh is nothing but a freak!

 

  “15 seconds”

This is for all of the school’s staff who said “Josh is really strange” allowing the other kids to laugh!

 

   “10 seconds”

I just wanted to not be treated like I was less than! Because I can only be me!

A free-thinking young man! Dad wanted a football player, mom never spoke up,

the kids wanted more sheep, but does anyone care

what I want?

So this is for all of the weird kids who their revenge!

Who never had a voice or parents to love them!

Who never had friends

who never got respect

or acceptance! ACCEPTANCE!!!!!

I JUST WANTED 

ACCEPTANCE!!!!!

 

3, 2, 1………

THIS IS FOR

YOU DAD!!!!!

 

***RING***

 

 

 

Author's Note

I remember my school's weird kid. Though I never bothered him, I didn't approach him either. He was always isolated and quiet and I saw other kids whisper about him and talk about him. I regret never doing or saying much to him today, but this piece is only brought about through my own imagination and books and tv; I could never grasp truly what goes on in the mind of someone at developmental ages of those in grade schools and how torment and not being accepted can pain children who for the most part, live to be accepted! I hope you like the piece.

Reviews

[Ali Heart]

This was just so breathtaking, suspenseful, and it had me on the edge of my seat the whole time. Poems like these are what makes me want to write so much. It is poems like this that just feels my soul with passion and inspiration. I could almost feel that pain and hatred that this poem expresses. I've meet a few people that could become like this and their the first people I make friends with. They also come out to be really cool people. I just so love this poem. This is the best poem I've read in my life! I am typing this review with so much excitement right now! Good Job! Lovely Poem! Awesome Write! Thanks for the inspiration!

[Brjden (Bridge-Den) Crewe]

That is such an amazing and flattering assessment of this piece. Thank you so much for it! I'm glad it inspired you and out of frustration I wanted to create something trying to dive into the mind of the actual 'villain'.

[Xeru]

That was bug... but it seemed like it was a accurate look into a kid walking to the beat of his own drum. Sometimes you dont know what makes a kid one way or the other. Some kids arent strong enough to take it.. While other kids dont have the creativity to give it back. And its a sad balance when that kid thats getting it from school has to get it from home too. The best thing about some of those kids are that they overcome and become functional adults. While others dont... Its a sad reality for a child who doesnt know how to handle it... Great write

[The Viking]

The stream of consciousness style of this poem kept the flow interesting. I liked the moment of doubt thrown in close to the end; makes the reader think. A couple grammatical errors, but the poem itself is good in that it makes one think. Personally individuals like the protagonist in this poem piss me off to no end. When I was coming up, my music and clothes were different, but I adapted. If someone made fun of me, I took that as motivation to make myself stronger or smarter. Eventually, I'd be able to laugh along with the person making fun of me or break their nose. Either one stopped the problem. These weird little f***s back in high school that stayed secluded from everyone and took persecution for their weirdness were weak; it's straight up cowardice if you have to hold a gun to an unarmed person's head, because they made fun of you. Especially when you start killing people who didn't even know you and never said a word to you, just because you had to vent a little teen angst. Yeah, kids are especially cruel - and it doesn't help when teenagers and parents don't support you either, but by God, after high school, you'll never see those m***********s again and most of the kids like this are so intelligent, that if they don't take their own life after a wanton killing spree, the a******s that made their high school years a living hell usually end up working for the kid they made fun of. Ah well, this got kinda long, but that's what I got out of this. Thanks for the insight.

[Fear Corrupts!]

Haha.
It's funny, I wrote a poem similar to this, I was heading down the same kind of road, but I didn't manage to take as fine of a path as you did with yours (that sounded like a big pile of word vomit/bull s**t, didn't it?)
Anyway..
You definitely went into detail with this one - I love the pain, and hatred, that you managed to incorporate so well into this piece. Puurfect.
Dead on - no pun intented.
Good Write....
Don't you stop.
( What gets me going is the passion that pops off of the pages as your font gets larger and brighter, everytime )

;)

{ Fear Corrupts! }

[Phantom Heart]

I've never set foot in a high school of any kind. But I hear a lot of this on the new. I think you captured the thoughts and emotions with your usual flair. This piece is fantastic. You capture the reader with your words and hold their attention guiding them through you poem. Racing through the climax and to dazzling them with a spectacular finish. Very well done.

[LisetteCanWrite!]

Wow.. simply sad and heartwrenching.. I was one of those weird kids though I never thought of hurting anyone.. just didn't like high school.. I was a tomboy.. thin as a rail.. emotions just overwhelming from my home life.. long stringy hair and remember my principle even centering me out once like trash.. that hurt.. I wanted to run away.. far away.. I wanted counselling in high school .. my mom just said "it's all in your head".. that hurt too cause I knew it was.. life was not good back then... though there were the good moments that I still remember today. As a parent if your child asks for counselling ... get them help.. cause it eats at them and while they may not hurt others.. they may hurt themselves inside!!! This is a great writing because it opens up some reality to what some teenagers go through.. the peer pressure.. fitting in.. challenge of "what do I want to be when I grow up" especially hard if you have no good role model growing up.. had many lost friends who dealt with similar situations.. it's very frustrating.. and teachers and other adults should never center a child out with needs.. horrible. Thank you for sharing.. hopefully there aren't too many other shootings in the high schools.. that is an atrocity. We shouldn't put down people that we do not understand but do like you said .. at worst just keep some distance if they appear like they do not want to be bothered.

[Shellie]

Well boy, your back with a vengeance...thought you werent postin no more but glad you did! As much as i despise school shootings since I read the book '19 minutes' by Jodi Picoult I have a deeper understanding as to what drives kids to this, even though I will never agree...I really can see. This reminds me of that reaction, a deep down insight into the feelings that rush round in tormented kids minds before they go ahead and do the unthinkable. Nice one Bridgey as always!

[.]

Oh my, it's incredible how i can very much relate to those lines:

"The teachers think I'm strange
and they treat me just the same
And they're trained to educate me
but barely know my name!
I just wanna be ME
without having to be explained
Accepted as an original,
not like the rest of you lames!
Yeah my music may be different,
I think yours is as well
That doesn't mean we can't talk
And be friends in this cell
So what I dress this way?
And my hair's as is?"

I was always sure I was not the only one hehehe .. and i know how it feels like being pointed out as the freak one .. but you know what? we're not different, we're simply unique! so f**k em all, and let's just be ourselves .. I won't ever change for those who laugh at me ..

I guess this wonderful write is for all the weird kids out there and you portrayed those images perfectly

Great write!

[bluessadmood]

oh i know just how it feels for some usually very clever kids ,but even if not..
those kids were just not made to fit so well with the others..
maybe the looks ,the bahaviour,their way of talk and
their way of thinking,it just will not fit with other kids thoughts
so he will look like an outcast,and should take the daily torment
who can stand that on daily basis,pressure will build up for sure
until someday he will explode and cause a tragedy..not his mistake
i am sure,for he just cant take it any more..
lovely analyses of almost every school where some boys just do not live up to the standard of others
wonderful write..

[Onyx Sky]

I think you did this piece justice... To me it has Columbine written all over it right down to the reasons why. The imagery was amazing, and so was the diction. It is the shocking truth of the here and now... Sometimes it sucks to grow up in a period like this, but it is what it is. It's amazing how one species can want to kill eachother. It's amazing how callous many people can be about others feelings. Especially if it's the feelings of someone who is a sociopath... Amazing write. I've always thought I was the weirdo but not to the same degree...

Umm, the only thing that bothered me was the reason "why" you chose not to f**k with that boy. You said it was because: "He may come up and kill us all!" Shouldn't the reason be because he was a living, breathing human being, who deserves to be treated how you want to be treated?