Your School's Weird Kid

I've always been fascinated with eclectic kids especially where most people don't have the maturity to respect their differences. We all had them or were them. This one goes terribly wrong.

"People are fragile things, you should know by now.

  Careful what you put them through......"

                        - Corinne Bailey Rae, "Munich"

 

 YOUR SCHOOL'S

      "Weird Kid"

by Brjden "WearingATrenchCoat" Crewe

 

 

“8:48 A.M.”

            I Wait...

I wait in front of the

John Tate High School building, that I hate

Dad's 12 gauge Mossberg

inside the embrace of my hands

with a pain that I couldn't explain

but you know what?...

No one gives a damn

          So I wait……

And in two minutes, the bell’s gonna ring

And then the hallway will be flooded with so many

mindless sheep and prom kings and Homecoming queens the football team and wannabes

And I'm a kill as many as I can, so then I'll be free

     And I wait…

               Right here, at 8:48

 

because I hate the way you people stare

and try to escape my simple presence  

and point and laugh at me like I’m a freak

Or a beast that you can catch a disease from

If you got close to me!!

 

The teachers think I’m strange

and they treat me just the same

though they’re trained to educate me

but then barely know my name!

I just wanna be ME without having to be explained

Accepted as an original,

Without playing your games

Yeah my music may be different,

I think yours is as well

That doesn’t mean we can’t talk

And be friends inside of this cell

So what I dress this way?

And my hair’s the way it is?

But I'm about to make even

on all the evil you did!

All the names and the undeserved pain

You stupid kids will feel my, emotional torment

in the form of bullets pouring though your skin

just for ignoring it!

 

Mr. Fielder's first on my list

when in front of the other kids,

Told a “weirdo” joke at my expense,  

Without recognizing the damage it did

 

Laughed and laughed, they all did

as I sat with hidden tears

a quiet rage built on the inside for the past three years

 

“8:49 ”

It’s almost time…

But now I hesitate…

   This isn’t me!

Though I dreamed of doing this,

can I really,

REALLY GO THROUGH WITH THIS?!?

Condensation orbits my hands  

And I start to feel sick

I can’t do this

The gun is lowered and I seemingly quit

But I just can’t forget

The hurt received because of my unacceptable characteristics, feeds a hate to react deadly causing deplorable shrieks at YOUR expense and your momentary apologies and desperate, phony pleads will surely be, the very last words from you, spoken to me!

 

Memories of people pointing and laughing leads to visions of those very same people bleeding and gasping

And then I think of my father packing

that duffle bag and forcing me to leave

Just because I’m not the vision

of whom he wants me to be

And that feeds…It feeds my own need to now proceed with killing you all today

which will kill this demon inside of me!!

 

I want to consume their fear as I stand confidently above them as they cry

And frantically beg for their lives

Then I can laugh and shine inside

 

I want to digest the pictures I paint of the bullets devouring their flesh as their chests graphically explode as their bodies begin to turn cold, their spirits claim their inevitable death!

 

My adrenaline suggests an eager happiness  

I pump on the gauge as the red stick on the clock glides right past the eight...

 

  “20 seconds”

This is for all those kids who threw things and picked on me constantly, saying “Josh is nothing but a freak!

 

  “15 seconds”

This is for all of the school’s staff who said “Josh is really strange” allowing the other kids to laugh!

 

   “10 seconds”

I just wanted to not be treated like I was less than! Because I can only be me!

A free-thinking young man! Dad wanted a football player, mom never spoke up,

the kids wanted more sheep, but does anyone care

what I want?

So this is for all of the weird kids who their revenge!

Who never had a voice or parents to love them!

Who never had friends

who never got respect

or acceptance! ACCEPTANCE!!!!!

I JUST WANTED 

ACCEPTANCE!!!!!

 

3, 2, 1………

THIS IS FOR

YOU DAD!!!!!

 

***RING***

 

 

 

Author's Note

I remember my school's weird kid. Though I never bothered him, I didn't approach him either. He was always isolated and quiet and I saw other kids whisper about him and talk about him. I regret never doing or saying much to him today, but this piece is only brought about through my own imagination and books and tv; I could never grasp truly what goes on in the mind of someone at developmental ages of those in grade schools and how torment and not being accepted can pain children who for the most part, live to be accepted! I hope you like the piece.

Reviews

[Ali Heart]

This was just so breathtaking, suspenseful, and it had me on the edge of my seat the whole time. Poems like these are what makes me want to write so much. It is poems like this that just feels my soul with passion and inspiration. I could almost feel that pain and hatred that this poem expresses. I've meet a few people that could become like this and their the first people I make friends with. They also come out to be really cool people. I just so love this poem. This is the best poem I've read in my life! I am typing this review with so much excitement right now! Good Job! Lovely Poem! Awesome Write! Thanks for the inspiration!

[Brjden (Bridge-Den) Crewe]

That is such an amazing and flattering assessment of this piece. Thank you so much for it! I'm glad it inspired you and out of frustration I wanted to create something trying to dive into the mind of the actual 'villain'.

[Luna]

I like this. I do.
I was that "weird kid" at school. Though, I never even dreamed of killing anybody, I know how the emotional pain feels.
And, it is true. We just want acceptance; everyone just wants acceptance.

"I wait and in two minutes, the bell rings
And the hallway will be flooded with
mindless sheep and prom kings and queens and
stupid hip hop wannabes, the football team
And I'm a kill as many as I can, then I'll be free"

I have never completely understood the mindset of teenagers and adults who participate in these mass murders. Killing those who tormented you will not make things right. The topic of school shootings scares me, a lot.
This poem was very insightful, and intense. As I read it, I felt my heart pounding in my chest. You have great writing skills.


-Luna

[Ravenskald]

this is true wonderful write
the moral
never push someone whose back is already against the wall
they can be black white
maybe even the school principal
(had a few, psycho teachers in my time too ... one showed me not to swing on signs by bashing the back of my head on the concrete (I was 5) .
we're all the trenchcoat mafia, thats whats scary ... just a little push
ask a crip , ask a blood , ask an aryan
same answer
just a little push
great story
R

[Farrah Grahm]

Yea, it is scary, what kids see these days can certainly fuel the motivation to go ahead and do these sort of things.
What I thought was really funny was I started reading this not knowing it was yours, and had already started forming a review in my head and I was gonna say "This is written in the style of Bridge here on WritersCafe" and then scrolled up and saw it was yours and was like, wow, how cool is it that you have this signature that makes everythigng you write unique to you. Without your name on it, I can almost always tell its you. This is amazing. A great message, I love it.

[Shadow]

Damn I feel this....I was the wierd kid and after all the "trench coat mafia" bullshit everybody and I mean EVERYBODY was giving me these meaningless apologizes for the s**t they gave me and all it did was make me angrier cause i knew they didn't mean it!But I never killed anybody though the thought was powerful and very attractive I can absolutely relate to this and my heart was pounding as i read it i still have dreams of killing all those people and i can still see their faces as vividly now as then

[~Mariposa Una Lila~]

my sweet lil heart....you are a friend to the end, i feel your discust for the thoses people, and im with you on it....great and brilliant i must say....you leave me speachlesss, sometimes that is a great thing! love you babe! x00x0x

[TheGenius]

This is extraordinary free-form poetry; it truly expresses those many, complex, layered emotions of being an outcast. I admire its construction and differences in font and size; this adds for sufficient emphasis. This poem leaves me with the sudden inspiration to improve upon my own writing! Keep doing what you're doing; because no one can do it better!

[Bennett Logan]

Yeah, man... Every high school's got one. Or several. The whole Columbine thing happened during my senior year, so we automatically came call our weird kid "The Columbine Kid." The "weird kid," Matt, who went to my school always wore a black leather jacket (even when it got hot and it gets hot early here) and always had a look hatred on his face. He had a "don't talk to me" air about him. But even if you talked to him in passing, like "hello" or "good morning," he always had some kind of snide or mean-spirited comment. He was the "weird kid" on purpose. It's what he wanted. And he had competition. We had a transvestite in our class, so he had to always act out more to get noticed.

I remember one time when the guy was leaning against my locker in between classes... I said "excuse me, man. I need to get there," and he started speaking Alice In Chains lyrics to me. I remember it well, actually. It came out of nowhere and seemed completely surreal.

"Ain't found a way to kill me yet. Eyes burn with stinging sweat. Seems every path leads me to nowhere."

Weird.

[R J Askew]

Great stuff, very strong, very dramatic and it feels psychologically bang, bang, bang on. I found myself sympathising with the voice at certain points as the mean average mass of humans tends to be very mean and very average, punishing difference with cruel sarcasm.

Yet there have always been berserkers. I think the word refers to crazy vikings.

And there have always been people who are different inside...maybe autistic, or aspergers, schizophrenic or whatever. They are mostly dangerous to themselves.

And I take back what I said about you playing the luuurv card all the time as this was a very different theme and voice. Respect!

[x]

LOL THIS is the kid i always become friends with so when he goes on a killing spree i wont be killed lol nice work

[Walkingblind]

Bridgey....I love that I can never track where your poetry is going I mean you reach
out to all subjects and write about them as if you invented it. I really like to read your
poems because I feel like I get a crash course in life. This poem and Crayons both hit on
topics that continue to plague all countries. Now to comment solely on this I like this...
it makes me so angry at the whole school that this kid goes too even though he's in a poem.
We human beings love to label people: nerd, w***e, white, too young, black, weak and so on.
If something or someone doesnt fit into that little label box he/she is subject to the backlash of being
different. No one sees the beauty of that person, just the differences therefore they
are shunned from being accepted. I felt this as I was reading this piece....I love your depth.