Your School's Weird Kid

I've always been fascinated with eclectic kids especially where most people don't have the maturity to respect their differences. We all had them or were them. This one goes terribly wrong.

"People are fragile things, you should know by now.

  Careful what you put them through......"

                        - Corinne Bailey Rae, "Munich"

 

 YOUR SCHOOL'S

      "Weird Kid"

by Brjden "WearingATrenchCoat" Crewe

 

 

“8:48 A.M.”

            I Wait...

I wait in front of the

John Tate High School building, that I hate

Dad's 12 gauge Mossberg

inside the embrace of my hands

with a pain that I couldn't explain

but you know what?...

No one gives a damn

          So I wait……

And in two minutes, the bell’s gonna ring

And then the hallway will be flooded with so many

mindless sheep and prom kings and Homecoming queens the football team and wannabes

And I'm a kill as many as I can, so then I'll be free

     And I wait…

               Right here, at 8:48

 

because I hate the way you people stare

and try to escape my simple presence  

and point and laugh at me like I’m a freak

Or a beast that you can catch a disease from

If you got close to me!!

 

The teachers think I’m strange

and they treat me just the same

though they’re trained to educate me

but then barely know my name!

I just wanna be ME without having to be explained

Accepted as an original,

Without playing your games

Yeah my music may be different,

I think yours is as well

That doesn’t mean we can’t talk

And be friends inside of this cell

So what I dress this way?

And my hair’s the way it is?

But I'm about to make even

on all the evil you did!

All the names and the undeserved pain

You stupid kids will feel my, emotional torment

in the form of bullets pouring though your skin

just for ignoring it!

 

Mr. Fielder's first on my list

when in front of the other kids,

Told a “weirdo” joke at my expense,  

Without recognizing the damage it did

 

Laughed and laughed, they all did

as I sat with hidden tears

a quiet rage built on the inside for the past three years

 

“8:49 ”

It’s almost time…

But now I hesitate…

   This isn’t me!

Though I dreamed of doing this,

can I really,

REALLY GO THROUGH WITH THIS?!?

Condensation orbits my hands  

And I start to feel sick

I can’t do this

The gun is lowered and I seemingly quit

But I just can’t forget

The hurt received because of my unacceptable characteristics, feeds a hate to react deadly causing deplorable shrieks at YOUR expense and your momentary apologies and desperate, phony pleads will surely be, the very last words from you, spoken to me!

 

Memories of people pointing and laughing leads to visions of those very same people bleeding and gasping

And then I think of my father packing

that duffle bag and forcing me to leave

Just because I’m not the vision

of whom he wants me to be

And that feeds…It feeds my own need to now proceed with killing you all today

which will kill this demon inside of me!!

 

I want to consume their fear as I stand confidently above them as they cry

And frantically beg for their lives

Then I can laugh and shine inside

 

I want to digest the pictures I paint of the bullets devouring their flesh as their chests graphically explode as their bodies begin to turn cold, their spirits claim their inevitable death!

 

My adrenaline suggests an eager happiness  

I pump on the gauge as the red stick on the clock glides right past the eight...

 

  “20 seconds”

This is for all those kids who threw things and picked on me constantly, saying “Josh is nothing but a freak!

 

  “15 seconds”

This is for all of the school’s staff who said “Josh is really strange” allowing the other kids to laugh!

 

   “10 seconds”

I just wanted to not be treated like I was less than! Because I can only be me!

A free-thinking young man! Dad wanted a football player, mom never spoke up,

the kids wanted more sheep, but does anyone care

what I want?

So this is for all of the weird kids who their revenge!

Who never had a voice or parents to love them!

Who never had friends

who never got respect

or acceptance! ACCEPTANCE!!!!!

I JUST WANTED 

ACCEPTANCE!!!!!

 

3, 2, 1………

THIS IS FOR

YOU DAD!!!!!

 

***RING***

 

 

 

Author's Note

I remember my school's weird kid. Though I never bothered him, I didn't approach him either. He was always isolated and quiet and I saw other kids whisper about him and talk about him. I regret never doing or saying much to him today, but this piece is only brought about through my own imagination and books and tv; I could never grasp truly what goes on in the mind of someone at developmental ages of those in grade schools and how torment and not being accepted can pain children who for the most part, live to be accepted! I hope you like the piece.

Reviews

[Ali Heart]

This was just so breathtaking, suspenseful, and it had me on the edge of my seat the whole time. Poems like these are what makes me want to write so much. It is poems like this that just feels my soul with passion and inspiration. I could almost feel that pain and hatred that this poem expresses. I've meet a few people that could become like this and their the first people I make friends with. They also come out to be really cool people. I just so love this poem. This is the best poem I've read in my life! I am typing this review with so much excitement right now! Good Job! Lovely Poem! Awesome Write! Thanks for the inspiration!

[Brjden (Bridge-Den) Crewe]

That is such an amazing and flattering assessment of this piece. Thank you so much for it! I'm glad it inspired you and out of frustration I wanted to create something trying to dive into the mind of the actual 'villain'.

[Taylor H.]

I love you're poetry. You can always get into people's mind and really bring their emotions forward. This was a truly sad but beautiful piece of work.

[Brjden (Bridge-Den) Crewe]

Thank you sweetheart. I try my best to empathize as much as possible with my subjects. It's not very easy. I appreciate your words a lot.

[Taylor H.]

You're welcome :)

[BreedsWithDragons]

I just wanna be ME without having to be explained.
greatgreatgreat.

[Shards]

Another work of wonderment
and word wizardry
you had me hooked from the start
and took me smoothly all the way through such an intense piece with your effortless flow
the subject matter reminds me of the film elephant - and of course the events that this film was inspired by
amazing write B - so good to see you back on here

[THE LOST ROSE]

Bridgey! Whats up man I haven't heard from you in awhile. I'm going to have to send back out there in the form of you know who to track you down for me. I love this poem. My brother the way you ended this poem made the entire poem visual all the way through. You have a way of writing about a person and their personality, pain or love. That is an amazing gift. Standing O my brother. When is the book coming out?

[Mason Vail]

Wow. When I got to the section of second guessing I was seriously aching in my chest hoping he'd come back from the edge and I felt wrenching regret and anger at those who hurt him when the pain won out.

Isn't it funny (in the least humorous sense) how, when a "weird kid" snaps, everyone looks for someone/thing external to blame rather than look in the mirror? Can you imagine an interview on the news after a tragedy like this where someone honestly looks straight into the camera and says "It was us. It was all of us. We didn't try to understand him. We didn't love him. We did this." Now, if only we'd do this BEFORE it was too late...

[Lalli]

touching bridgey,

Glad to see a new piece!

the only word that can descirbe this which has been said several ytimes over "INTENSE"
The thoughts, the points, the message, suspense before the action... very well written.
I feel it will touch many, and offend others (but only becuse they can't bare to listen, and will continue with closed minds)

I hope the book is going well for you my friend, and i miss our interactions.

Much love n' respect

-Lalli

[Alyssa Dufresne]

Here's the poem stemming from yours. It's a dufferent view and far less suspenseful, but it's the other side.

http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/~Animalwhisp/417805/

[Alyssa Dufresne]

Coming from a weird kid (and probably a different perspective than the other weird kids out there) you did good. This seems to take the immature viewpoint of a weird kid. The desire for revenge on those who bullied him without true realization of what he is doing. This was my thought process when I was in elementary school. Kinda scary if you think about a homicidal 5th grader. Writing fixed that though. Now I realize it's character building, and that if I had never been the center of all those lies and hits and bruises, I would not be half as intellectually advanced or strong (physically and mentally). Nowadays, I am far more patient with others, and I do my best to understand them even if they do not try to understand me.

I now have inspiration thanks to you.

[Constance L. Hartwell]

This piece was demented and depressing (in a good way). As one of my school's weird kids, I know exactly what goes through the mind of an individual who is fed up. You say you don't know the thought process of such a person but you could have fooled me. Excellent job with imagery. This is going to my favorites :)

[Legion]

As someone who was one of those kids, until I hit high school in a new school anyway, I know that pain. But I also know that all go through it in some form or fashion. Not everyone handles it the same. I never felt like blowing people away or anything, but I'm sure there were times I could have went ballistic back then. This was an intense write as well as a read. Two thumbs up to you. I don't know if I have it posted here or not (can't remember), but you might be interested in a piece I wrote called "The Pain of Life II: The Wounded Years". Similiar lines. Different ending. Kudos to you.