The Divorcee Chronicles pt. 2 "He's Understandably Confusing"

Check out Pt. 1

"Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable and life's like an hourglass, glued to the table. No one can find the 'rewind button' girl, so cradle your head in your hands....... and breathe, just breathe"

                                         Anna Nalick, "Breathe(2AM)"

 

 

the divorcee' chronicles part 2 

("He's Understandably Confusing")

                       by Brjden "Bridgette" Crewe

 

Previously at the end of part 1....

 

And if you don't help me, I might

Never find another like you!!

And with tears in my eye sight,

I stand before you and ask...

 "Will you please......

save my life?"

 

 (continued)

I think to myself

He wants me to save his life?

 

He's so blind!!!

But, I need to see for him...right?

 

I sit & wait with the patience of an isolated mountain

As he debates our inevitable fate with a confused look on his ruggedly difficult face

Counting................

Seconds turn into uneventful decades seemingly

But our relationship realistically have been years of dramatic mysteries that could completely SINK our history and leave it tasting 'BITTERSWEET' 

 

He's so deaf!!!!

He couldn't even hear

the hymn that my love

sings out in front of him!!!

 

Waiting...

I wait for him to see my entirety

To swim inside of my love that I present to him

passionate, repeatedly tested, wrapped inside of an impenetrable gift box nested for his unwrapping

 

The love that I have for him

replenishes like the blood

of a healthy, pumping heart

with a rhythm that starts & end as a fetus

resting peacefully inside her mother's garden  

 

It beats only for him

When he cries, I weep equally, matching him

tear for tear as his pain

becomes the same shared reciprocally

in our disdain

 

Everything in me, my friends, my family, even the mirror is telling me, to move on

but when I move...

I move...

    towards...

                Love

 

All my love can only be found

within this man

 

And I love him with the rage

 of a fire burning

Of dry oak soaked in gasoline!

 

What's wrong with men?

If God made them any dumber they would live underwater with gills & swimming fins!

 

Doesn't he know that if he gave himself to me completely

I wouldn't pain

but lovingly care for his heart

and tame

the misery from his past

that he desperately holds claim!

I would love him tremendously

trembling the spirits of his divorce!

Blessing his force with my Ye Yo

and giving life to his NEXT LIFE

with me as his halo!   

That's the way women are simply made...

to love

 

We endure, we conquer,

We mother the fathers

And we shine, refine

and simply define...

                             LOVE

 

I'm thinking all of this, then I ask...

 

"Why can't you tell me what happened

with your wife?

Why must you hold on to a pain that reigns

within your love life?

I want to love you!

I'm trying to love you fully and true!

But I can't go at it alone,

and walk this path without you!"

"I know....."

So tell me why you won't let me inside?

"Because I'm not only divorced

My wife....She died"

 

 

TO BE CONTINUED...

Author's Note

Before you ask..... Yes this is all true, except we didn't rhyme when we spoke! LOL I wanted to write as this woman. Though I love to write as different characters, it was difficult to write as her because she was so close to me and instead of being 100% creative, I had to empathize with her which only made me feel bad because I know now how she could have possibly felt. Even though I'm putting myself out there, it's surprisingly fun and cathartic! I really want to love this woman, but the divorce and the loss is a little too much. It's easy to say "time heals wounds", but I challenge that theory. I hope you stick around for what's next. I hope you all have read pt 1 or this may be a little confusing......

I almost wish I didn't include the last 4 lines. People focus on those as oppose to understanding the core of this one. And also, because I've been asked, "Ye Yo" is 'mother' in Swahili.

Reviews

[Lyrical Love]

i hate you first for sending this to me while i am trying to watch my favorite tv show-GREY'S ANATOMY! secondly for posting this! and asking me to read it. Yes, it is an awesome piece of course but, the content has me flippin' crying, and wondering why. this is too much to be lured in by your funny little avatar, and for you to possess the characteristics of a writer that equates to some of my favorites that have many books published! (i feel like i can't breath)
this makes me think that my problems are so minuscule in comparison. reading this was like forbidden sex-saying stop but actually wanting more.
You always amaze me!!

[QuietPoet]

wow.....I had tears in my eyes.. this was so sad and deep.. I am shocked.. I felt all your pain in this write. Very nice and so very good. I loved it. I hope you give this woman a chance. I know its hard to move on. We are all here praying and giving you hope.

[Here's What I Say]

I was going to wait until tomorrow to do a joint review for both parts, but seeing this, I realize that I shouldn't and I can't wait.

I definitely know what you mean when you can't give your heart away when someone else hasn't brought it back. You can only give what you have. Mine got lost for a few years after being wholeheartedly rejected. It barely found its way back to me a few years ago.

I'm one of the last people to ask for advice on this matter. I've never been through a divorce, but I can at least say I think I know what it feels like to love someone when his heart is still longing for someone else. It's incredibly painful, but even unrequited love has its rainbow. It's like being hungry but there's still something very wrong with your digestive system. You ache for love but your heart isn't ready to process it yet. I think you're doing the right thing by not jumping into a new relationship with this woman, but that doesn't mean you should cut yourself off from her completely. You sound like you could use at least a friend, and this is an opportunity for her to be a crying shoulder and let you see that tender, caring heart she has for you. Beyond that, Bridge, you need to begin the healing process. You are the only one who can cure yourself--not her. Your ex-wife shouldn't have done what she did to you, but you are the only one responsible for yourself. Don't promise her anything until you're ready to give it your all.

You're extremely lucky to have someone who's ready to love you.

[ajasminewallflower]

Oh, my god...That makes me wanna cry... *T-T* I almost couldn't believe that even happened and then I read your authors note. *T-T* Okay I'm done...I really like the emotions shown in this poem alot. Like alot alot!I love how you can tak about the things that most people don't have enough bawlick to even talk about with their own friends and yet you write for us to read and review. SNAPS for Left Field *Snaps*