The Divorcee Chronicles pt. 2 "He's Understandably Confusing"

Check out Pt. 1

"Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable and life's like an hourglass, glued to the table. No one can find the 'rewind button' girl, so cradle your head in your hands....... and breathe, just breathe"

                                         Anna Nalick, "Breathe(2AM)"

 

 

the divorcee' chronicles part 2 

("He's Understandably Confusing")

                       by Brjden "Bridgette" Crewe

 

Previously at the end of part 1....

 

And if you don't help me, I might

Never find another like you!!

And with tears in my eye sight,

I stand before you and ask...

 "Will you please......

save my life?"

 

 (continued)

I think to myself

He wants me to save his life?

 

He's so blind!!!

But, I need to see for him...right?

 

I sit & wait with the patience of an isolated mountain

As he debates our inevitable fate with a confused look on his ruggedly difficult face

Counting................

Seconds turn into uneventful decades seemingly

But our relationship realistically have been years of dramatic mysteries that could completely SINK our history and leave it tasting 'BITTERSWEET' 

 

He's so deaf!!!!

He couldn't even hear

the hymn that my love

sings out in front of him!!!

 

Waiting...

I wait for him to see my entirety

To swim inside of my love that I present to him

passionate, repeatedly tested, wrapped inside of an impenetrable gift box nested for his unwrapping

 

The love that I have for him

replenishes like the blood

of a healthy, pumping heart

with a rhythm that starts & end as a fetus

resting peacefully inside her mother's garden  

 

It beats only for him

When he cries, I weep equally, matching him

tear for tear as his pain

becomes the same shared reciprocally

in our disdain

 

Everything in me, my friends, my family, even the mirror is telling me, to move on

but when I move...

I move...

    towards...

                Love

 

All my love can only be found

within this man

 

And I love him with the rage

 of a fire burning

Of dry oak soaked in gasoline!

 

What's wrong with men?

If God made them any dumber they would live underwater with gills & swimming fins!

 

Doesn't he know that if he gave himself to me completely

I wouldn't pain

but lovingly care for his heart

and tame

the misery from his past

that he desperately holds claim!

I would love him tremendously

trembling the spirits of his divorce!

Blessing his force with my Ye Yo

and giving life to his NEXT LIFE

with me as his halo!   

That's the way women are simply made...

to love

 

We endure, we conquer,

We mother the fathers

And we shine, refine

and simply define...

                             LOVE

 

I'm thinking all of this, then I ask...

 

"Why can't you tell me what happened

with your wife?

Why must you hold on to a pain that reigns

within your love life?

I want to love you!

I'm trying to love you fully and true!

But I can't go at it alone,

and walk this path without you!"

"I know....."

So tell me why you won't let me inside?

"Because I'm not only divorced

My wife....She died"

 

 

TO BE CONTINUED...

Author's Note

Before you ask..... Yes this is all true, except we didn't rhyme when we spoke! LOL I wanted to write as this woman. Though I love to write as different characters, it was difficult to write as her because she was so close to me and instead of being 100% creative, I had to empathize with her which only made me feel bad because I know now how she could have possibly felt. Even though I'm putting myself out there, it's surprisingly fun and cathartic! I really want to love this woman, but the divorce and the loss is a little too much. It's easy to say "time heals wounds", but I challenge that theory. I hope you stick around for what's next. I hope you all have read pt 1 or this may be a little confusing......

I almost wish I didn't include the last 4 lines. People focus on those as oppose to understanding the core of this one. And also, because I've been asked, "Ye Yo" is 'mother' in Swahili.

Reviews

[Lyrical Love]

i hate you first for sending this to me while i am trying to watch my favorite tv show-GREY'S ANATOMY! secondly for posting this! and asking me to read it. Yes, it is an awesome piece of course but, the content has me flippin' crying, and wondering why. this is too much to be lured in by your funny little avatar, and for you to possess the characteristics of a writer that equates to some of my favorites that have many books published! (i feel like i can't breath)
this makes me think that my problems are so minuscule in comparison. reading this was like forbidden sex-saying stop but actually wanting more.
You always amaze me!!

[Gathering_Stars]

Time doesn't heal all wounds, whoever said that lived in a bubble.

Time gives us perspective on past painful experiences that perhaps makes us stronger as people, which might seem like it heals something but the wound, the scar, is still there festering.

[Gathering_Stars]

Time doesn't heal all wounds, whoever said that lived in a bubble.

Time gives us perspective on past painful experiences that perhaps makes us stronger as people, which might seem like it heals something but the wound, the scar, is still there festering.

[Winter McPherson]

Yes....but the last four lines are what keeps your readers coming back! Oh, the luscious suspense of it all!! You've captured in timing and rhyme the agony of loving someone who is not healed from an experience from the past. Your admiration of her love for you is telling in these lines.
"I wait for him to see my entirety

To swim inside of my love that I present to him

passionate, repeatedly tested, wrapped inside of an unpenetratable gift box nested just for his unwrapping, it's needing, loving, interruptingly trusting though intuitively psychic

disgustingly lusting, just how he likes it......



The love that I have for him

is currently filming on forever sequels!!



It replenishes like the blood

of a living organism's healthy, pumping heart

with a rhythm that starts & end

as a fetus, resting peacefully inside it's mother's garden

Wonderful!

[Collette]

I think you place an interesting duality in this piece. She knows you're not fully investing yourself; there is something keeping you two from experiencing a complete connection. The intuition of a woman is unlike anything else...but I can also see his side. The loss, doubled. No resolution. No closure ten years down the road when you meet for coffee and laugh about the ridiculous times. He's a man dealing with more than a loss, he's dealing with a complete upheaval of the world as he knows it.
I love the internal dialog of this...you really nailed the female perspective. I'm interested to see where you take this...it could go so many different ways.
I dig.

[Jason]

I enjoy the fact that your pieces are layered, I think I mentioned before how you so easily place yourself and someone elses shoes and still "Hit the nail on the head" with "Their" emotion.


"Doesn't he know that if he gave himself to me completely I wouldn't pain,

but lovingly care for his heart and tame

the misery that he desperately holds claim!"



"I wait for him to see my entirety

To swim inside of my love that I present to him

passionate, repeatedly tested, wrapped inside of an unpenetratable gift box nested just for his unwrapping, it's needing, loving, interruptingly trusting though intuitively psychic

disgustingly lusting, just how he likes it......"




Thanks for more motivation

[perfectlymetiKulous]

This is lovely... insanely moving and incredibly poignant.
I find it hard to focus on the last four lines because the rest of it is so beautifully complex.
This will be one that I read and re-read again.
And you wonder if you should be published. Gosh. Self-deprication at its finest.
You're a brilliant poet.

[Shelly Araujo]

Hey Bridge, everything you write evokes very strong emotion for me; it is tough for me to read to much of your work at once because of that. May not sound like a compliment but I mean it in the highest regard. You have an awesome ability to write in a broad range of emotions. excellent as always!

[THE LOST ROSE]

Hey Bridge, I know why you and I connect so much now. We share the same experience of losing our wives. I knew you were divorce but I had no clue she made her transition. When my wife left my son and I my valut became unlock and all the expereinces that came and was yet to come was unleashed. I think the same for you since you have been on this site. Lyrical old me about this poem and suggested I log on despite my personal spiritual journey to make the discipline in my life for 40 days first and formost. I am looking forward to seeing part 3. I know it is hard to open your heart after you felt the pain. I can't do it for more than one night. -lol- I'll be back my brother!

[Walkingblind]

I can't stand when you do this to us...your so unique the raw passion of your
words sting my lungs like arctic air. Everytime I click on one of your titles I bite
my lip and swallow waiting to be plowed over by all of your emotion. This poem is
no different you wrote from the point of view of the woman who loved you after your
wife and nailed it as if you saw what she was feeling just by looking into her eyes. Everytime
I read your poetry I feel like I'm reading a testimony and it's so beautiful Bridge. I'm sorry that
she died ive seen death but I cant imagine if I had a husband that died, I could never imagine,
who would want to. I am hereby setting a time for your poetry it is to be read by me only during
the nighttime because I can't take it when the sun is out I might die.....lets see how long that lasts!
Oh dang Bridge.....I'm mad at you.


So still no rating huh? well I guess I'll be rebellious and rate this poem above 100 again!

[Bennett Logan]

Once again, man, this is completely raw and emotional. I also appreciate the honesty of the poem. Nothing is sugar-coated or waxed over. Kudos, sir!