Stupd Girls Only ("I Lost" Vol. 3)

If you really read this, you'll see what I'm REALLY talking about Willis......

 

Jarrod: What happened with Tracy man?

Marcus: Jarrod you met that girl, she's not very smart!

Tyler: C'mon man, you don't f**k her brains!

                          - from the movie "Boomerang"

                                   

 

Stupd Girls only

 

( “I Lost” Vol. 3)

 

by Bridgey "TonyRomo" Crewe

 

So for now on,

I'm only gonna date stupid girls!!!

 

I mean the bump into the wall, get lost inside a mall, “I” before “E”, except after 3, Chicken of the Sea, George W. dumb a*s, completely stupid girls for me.........

With really big breasts!!

 

I'm talking the super beautiful, bubble gum twirling, insanely insane, sexy, air-headed dullard, ridiculously s**t for brains, incredibly stupid girls for me.......

Who are really good in bed!!

 

They don't pose a threat

as to what I plan to do

Which is to preserve an injured heart,

that's been broken in two

 

Beautiful, funny, intelligent women

complicate things

I love them,

       they leave me

I'm left with beautiful, funny,

intelligent memories

 

The engaging conversationalist who’s intellectually stimulating, and who’s virtuous & reserved keeping me anticipating & waiting, beautiful book wormy, artsey, incredibly sexy, college degree-having, complete woman..........

Stay the f**k

    away from me!! 

 

We were not meant to be

You've made it painfully obvious to me

Your totality's a liability

So give me the "not so Smarties"

 

Please, just stay away

And I'm so not playing!

Gone & get ghost! Like Pac Man

                  You know what I'm saying?!

 

My intrigue in you indeed

        is buried deep inside of me

No more of those going to poetry reads, or winning spelling bees, scoring perfect SATs, respectful women for me!

 

I love the smart ones........

         But the smart ones have hurt me

I'm drawn to the interesting ones......

         The interesting ones leave me

 I could never love the stupid ones

Because I could never take them seriously!

"Just concentrate

     on looking pretty dear."

They are perfect for me!

 

I've been hurt beyond reasonable repair

Pushing potentially great women away

Anyone intriguing who dared loved me

I forcefully told them they couldn't stay

 

And with tears in two sets of eyes,

                   we walk in different directions

I reject before rejection,

          and am left with multiple questions......

 

Did I HAVE to let her go?

 Would she have given me her best?

 Could she really,

              truly love me?

And not leave me

                  like all the rest?                               

But I guess we'll never know.....

Because I've cashed out my chips,

and folded my final hand

in this bullshit poker game long ago!

 

 

So forget the women

who have it all!

Their intelligent

time has passed

 

So bring on the

         stupid girls!!!

You know, the dumb-f**k, Kelly Bundy, Hillary Banks, short bus, helmet wearing, finger counting, deranged thinking “The Moon is just the backside of the Sun!”,  blank brained, daydreaming, Out to Lunch, never thinking, “The stork delivers the baby to mommy” still believing, empty headed completely “stupd” girls for me...........

With a really nice a*s!

 

 

I'm quietly trying to hide

that I'm slowly & secretly dying inside.........

 

 

Author's Note

Talking to a good friend last night. I've decided only to date stupid, attractive girls. They don't scare me. I won't get wrapped up emotionally with them. I keep my feelings to myself and have a good time. Interesting, funny, smart, beautiful women are when I get in trouble. Then I'm writing shit like I was last week. Can't let that happen! So this is my plan! Hail Stupid Girls!!!

Reviews

[Taylor Maye]

Lol this was funny and I totally understand. Once you've been dumped enough time by one type of man or women you tend to stay away from them because you're scared they will do it again. This was interesting and cool. You're fed up and now you just want a girl YOU can dump for a change get your "wham bam thank you ma'ms" out of the way before you go looking for another smarty. I loved the line "go get ghost", back side of the sun and I before e except after 3" your so f*****g creative

[Bella]

Haha, sounds like a good plan.

"The dumb-fucked, Kelly Bundy, Hilary Banks, Out to Lunch brained, short bused, helmet wearing, finger counting, deranged, thinking "The Moon is just the backside of the Sun!", insane, stork baby bringing believing, empty headed dames!...........
With a really nice a*s!"

This was too funny. I actually know people who are this dumb. This made me laugh, as most of your work does. Another great job!

[Farrah Grahm]

Well, that's quite a cop out. Although, seems like it would work in your case!
I like this, as I've loved the others. It's hilarious.
Although I had a suggestion "anticipating, waiting" might sound better then anticipatingly waiting, for two reasons..it's not exactly a word, which probably doesn't matter considering the subject, and it sounds kinda redundant, whereas it would be like listing the other way.
Other than that, I love it. The last paragraph is my favorite. Great job!

[Amant Cache]

I've got the perfect girl for you then... :) Joke time: my roommate's girlfriend spent 20 minutes looking for the 'good' can opener because the 'not so good' can opener wouldn't open her can of frozen orange juice. The look of a light bulb sparking in her face was priceless when we showed her the pull tab on the can...and even more so when she exclaimed, "I've been using a can opener on these things my entire life!"

Love your work as usual, but it makes me kind of mad that the intelligent women who have hurt you all these years are giving the rest of us Smarties a bad name...hell you might have inspired me to write about my needs for an intelligent, soulful man-- and not the s**t for brains I've been set up with lately.

Much love B,

L

[Brandon]

bellisima...this is hilarious and 100% right on....bring on the stupid girls...very nice write.

[Shelly Araujo]

Ok Bridge, here's the thing, there are no stupid girls, it's just an act to steal your heart! :-) I really enjoyed this as always.