Stupd Girls Only ("I Lost" Vol. 3)

If you really read this, you'll see what I'm REALLY talking about Willis......

 

Jarrod: What happened with Tracy man?

Marcus: Jarrod you met that girl, she's not very smart!

Tyler: C'mon man, you don't f**k her brains!

                          - from the movie "Boomerang"

                                   

 

Stupd Girls only

 

( “I Lost” Vol. 3)

 

by Bridgey "TonyRomo" Crewe

 

So for now on,

I'm only gonna date stupid girls!!!

 

I mean the bump into the wall, get lost inside a mall, “I” before “E”, except after 3, Chicken of the Sea, George W. dumb a*s, completely stupid girls for me.........

With really big breasts!!

 

I'm talking the super beautiful, bubble gum twirling, insanely insane, sexy, air-headed dullard, ridiculously s**t for brains, incredibly stupid girls for me.......

Who are really good in bed!!

 

They don't pose a threat

as to what I plan to do

Which is to preserve an injured heart,

that's been broken in two

 

Beautiful, funny, intelligent women

complicate things

I love them,

       they leave me

I'm left with beautiful, funny,

intelligent memories

 

The engaging conversationalist who’s intellectually stimulating, and who’s virtuous & reserved keeping me anticipating & waiting, beautiful book wormy, artsey, incredibly sexy, college degree-having, complete woman..........

Stay the f**k

    away from me!! 

 

We were not meant to be

You've made it painfully obvious to me

Your totality's a liability

So give me the "not so Smarties"

 

Please, just stay away

And I'm so not playing!

Gone & get ghost! Like Pac Man

                  You know what I'm saying?!

 

My intrigue in you indeed

        is buried deep inside of me

No more of those going to poetry reads, or winning spelling bees, scoring perfect SATs, respectful women for me!

 

I love the smart ones........

         But the smart ones have hurt me

I'm drawn to the interesting ones......

         The interesting ones leave me

 I could never love the stupid ones

Because I could never take them seriously!

"Just concentrate

     on looking pretty dear."

They are perfect for me!

 

I've been hurt beyond reasonable repair

Pushing potentially great women away

Anyone intriguing who dared loved me

I forcefully told them they couldn't stay

 

And with tears in two sets of eyes,

                   we walk in different directions

I reject before rejection,

          and am left with multiple questions......

 

Did I HAVE to let her go?

 Would she have given me her best?

 Could she really,

              truly love me?

And not leave me

                  like all the rest?                               

But I guess we'll never know.....

Because I've cashed out my chips,

and folded my final hand

in this bullshit poker game long ago!

 

 

So forget the women

who have it all!

Their intelligent

time has passed

 

So bring on the

         stupid girls!!!

You know, the dumb-f**k, Kelly Bundy, Hillary Banks, short bus, helmet wearing, finger counting, deranged thinking “The Moon is just the backside of the Sun!”,  blank brained, daydreaming, Out to Lunch, never thinking, “The stork delivers the baby to mommy” still believing, empty headed completely “stupd” girls for me...........

With a really nice a*s!

 

 

I'm quietly trying to hide

that I'm slowly & secretly dying inside.........

 

 

Author's Note

Talking to a good friend last night. I've decided only to date stupid, attractive girls. They don't scare me. I won't get wrapped up emotionally with them. I keep my feelings to myself and have a good time. Interesting, funny, smart, beautiful women are when I get in trouble. Then I'm writing shit like I was last week. Can't let that happen! So this is my plan! Hail Stupid Girls!!!

Reviews

[Taylor Maye]

Lol this was funny and I totally understand. Once you've been dumped enough time by one type of man or women you tend to stay away from them because you're scared they will do it again. This was interesting and cool. You're fed up and now you just want a girl YOU can dump for a change get your "wham bam thank you ma'ms" out of the way before you go looking for another smarty. I loved the line "go get ghost", back side of the sun and I before e except after 3" your so f*****g creative

[Mel]

Wow, don't bother trying to hide your real feelings!!
Honestly, I loved this. Brilliant! Only something you could find amongst your work. And I understand - when we have our minds, we can be single-mindedly ruthless! So why not go for that truly asinine but sexy person? I'm all for this idea =]
Great job!

[ANNA]

Finallyyyyyyyyy I get to this piece and tell you me thoughts! lol Very sorry to have made you wait.

I do have to say when I read this like 3 times. I wish I could have tapped inside the minds of man right then and tell and ask why. Although the more I read on the reviews that many guys wrote, the more I started to understand and why I'm still single..lol Being a woman is not easy. We try so hard to stay away from the smart, handsome, stable man also. Hearts are broken 10 times more,. Then if it was someone that was stupid and ugly....Yes, it sad!

I know I had my share of only dating when I'm alonely or dating only the ugly not good enough for me ones. That way I can look back and say that I wasn't in love with them. Maybe I shouldn't be sharing my secret...but you wrote about dating stupid girl so I guess I can share..lol

You made a very good point right in this line:

Engaging conversations, spiritual stimulations, dating virtuous women who keep me anticipatingly waiting, such a beautiful book worm, very artsey & sexy, sensual college degree-having, entirely complete women..........

Stay the f**k away from me!!

You go Bridgey!!! that's what's I would say but they won't stay away. When your not looking. Love finds you. Whether you want it or not. I believe you helped the question that where fogging my head. Whether I do anything about what comes after the fog is clear is up to me. Hope and love are a blessing. Some are just to scared to take a chance but what if we died tomorrow. What then becomes of your heart?

Thank you sweets!
This was inspiriting and f*****g funny...
Love,
Anna

[Lola Nation]

and to think, if you got someone completely stupid they'd never realize what damaged goods you are! hah! Then again, stupid girls can be frustrating to because you're constantly asking yourself "is she really that f-n stupid?" (yes) And at some point, you'll point blank ask her and then you'll have to deal with her crying.

So don't forget the other part of that - superficial - shallow - that's important too.

d12 "I got hoes who don't know what prada is"

[Jacqueline]

Haha, wow.
This poem definitely has its comical aspects but at the same time, you can see how much you have gotten hurt in the past to make such a decision.
I love all of the stereotypes about stupid girls that you've mentioned throughout the poem.
It really emphasized the point and made the reader want to keep reading.
Those were the funny parts though.
The very last line, the one about secretly dying inside, showed that it isn't about being shallow, but protected.
I really enjoyed it.
One of your best.

[Fear Corrupts!]

Ha ha ha,
Okay, you do that - date only stupid girls from now on;
But PLEASE make sure that they're stupid enough to NEVER EVER be able to find/read this poem of yours. :P

Man, oh man, this is great stuff.
Cracked me up, just like the rest.
Yet I sense a little bit more in it than what may appear...
Hmm.

Yeah, anyway.
Good Write, thanks for sharing :p.

Yours Truly,

[ Fear Corrupts! ]

P.S. Thought I'd try something new & include "yours truly",
& also add a "P.S."

[Bennett Logan]

I think I finally figured out what I specifically like about your writing. You verbalize some of the worst s**t that most of us only fleetingly think about. After a particularly traumatic breakup, most of us will chalk it up to a loss, binge on the booze, find comfort in friends, and eventually find something else to think about... But there's a part of us that hangs on to what could have been, you know? Things like...

If only I had said... If only I had been more/less... What if, what if, what if...
...which eventually turns into...
That b***h -- how could she do this to me?

You, of course, manage to do just that, but with so much gusto. ;)

Again, good work, sir! Have a good one.

[Creepy Swine Guy]

Reviewer Disclaimer:
....................
First off, I am no expert. What I offer here is nothing more than my opinions. I'm no expert, in fact I don't even think that I ever even got an "A" in an English class. But I'll tell you what I liked and what I thought seemed a little off. I'm not trying to make myself feel important (I hate when people do that) I'm just telling you what I think. That being said, I'll go ahead and review:

I must admit that the format scared me away several times before and almost this time. This is more an open vein of thought and feeling than it is a poem. To call it a poem sells it short. There is some good wisdom in here, but there is some missing too. After one or more of the "stupid ones" has turn out what remains of your heart, it will dawn on you that we are the stupid ones and they ALL want our lifeblood. This usually takes about 47 years and 11 months to learn.

Signed, A 48 year old guy.

[Spoken]

lol.

easier to just get freaky with the girls that won't matter to you. Getting emotionally involved can be painful. Although i think eventually it'll get old and leave one feeling empty. Or maybe you'll just have a hell of a time bouncing from woman to woman like fun bags, lol. Whatever works for you! Very funny and cute.

[R J Askew]

Bloody hell, political correctness stand aside! The dude lives!

Unlike the last of your poems I read which profoundly depressed me, this one cheers me greatly. It is funny, anarchical and also reveals a vulnerability between the he-man-humour.

Again, you put your finger on a real issue with your humour, some men do find intelligent women difficult to deal with and do get chewed up. The point is that intelligent women have greater emotional intelligence then we mere men and are more demanding emotionally. There is no sure solution. And I reckon it is sometimes difficult for the beautiful, funny, intelligent woman (BFIW) as they drive off likely mates.

Maybe the very best tactic wld be for a BFIW to dump her assertiveness classes and take acting classes in how to be sexy stupid.

[Shellie]

Very good....I like the Jessica Simpson dig' chicken of the sea', it created the image of her as your stupid girl...though i have a feeling she's not half as thick as she makes out. I also like the way this is put IN YOUR OPINION not as the whole male populations, oh yes people will agree but it seems directed FROMyour point of view.[least u wont get in trouble by giving your opinion, aren't we all entitled ;)
Good work!!!!