Vulner ABLE ("I Lost" Vol. 4)

I don't know.....

 

"It's been awhile.....since I can say that I wasn't addicted

It's been awhile.....since I can say that I love myself as well"

                            - Staind,  "It's been awhile"

 

Vulner ABLE

("I Lost" Vol. 3)

 

by "NakedAsTheDayIWasBorn" Crewe

 

 

 

I really want you to look,

            But I'd rather you didn't see

All of the insecurities,

securing my "Me"

I know I can be,

  everything you want me to be

I've been in love,

          it's just that

no one's ever been in love WITH.....me

 

but you made me do it alone,

you were suppose to do it with me!

we were both suppose to jump when we counted to three!

one......

   two....

                      tool

 

I feel like the biggest fool

 

Me jumping, you staying,

Falling without a ‘chute or a pool

 

I can't even look into a mirror

Ashamed of my own reflection!

And with bloody knuckles,

I taught this glass mirror a lesson!

DON'T YOU DARE LOOK AT ME!

I can't even stand to see

The vulnerABLE "ility"

           you put inside of me!

 

 

What the f**k is wrong with me!?!?!?

I keep my ambitions high, go to work wearing a fly suit with matching shirt and a tie, got a 401K plan, & a stable car & place, with no kids, or any "baby mama drama" as of TODAY, read over 500 books, I've taken lessons to cook, and I don't base my attraction to women, just by their looks, I read and write poetry, paint, and love my mother, my pops is my best friend, though I still fight with my brother, I pray everyday, eat the vegetables on my plate, and I can give your car a tune-up, change the oil & brakes, I'm quick on the uptake, funny as hell, the sex is safe, and I can f**k like a 20 year, paroled prison inmate! So as I say what I'm saying, one thing only haunts me, and with water blurring my vision I wonder......

WHY DOESN'T SHE WANT ME?!

 

I worshiped every print......

that came from her feet!

But see,

     she took advantage of my vulnerA-bility!

I opened up & told her things

        I haven't even told God yet

We made "pinky promises",

 two peas in a pod but yet......

She wasn't honest!

        And I think, honestly.....

  I need to be

Up in a club to find a girl

         I can get home with me!

 

Because I still have my cool and all of my special tools, I would, normally use on her, sooner rather than later.....

Tools to get that a*s & have her split, quick fast before the neighbors slip on the morning dew while getting their morning paper!

 

But I think….. if I would do that, 

                you know what will occur?

The moment after I fill the condom, I'll be back thinking of "her"

 

 

Not a drink, not a dame,

not a needle-injected vein

will contain enough sedation

 to help me escape the pain!

 

 

I hate being vulnerable, I wish I could disappear

I'm 5ft 11,

   187 pounds of fear!

 

But the fear makes me Bridgey

& Bridgey faces his fears

So when I'm fighting something scary

 I'm STILL swinging

  while shedding tears!

 

We all bare crosses,

and have suffered tremendous losses

But we can’t lose ourselves with the fear

and what the cost is

I loved this woman hard,

but the love wasn’t returned

And I lived and learned, and got burned,

and the knowledge that was earned……

 

Is that although I'm vulnerABLE,

                I can still stand like a man!

I fall down,

then I get up,

  and I'm fighting again! 

Maybe the end isn't "thee END"

Just the end of that girl

  So I'm proud to be vulnerABLE,

                naked to the world.....

 

 

Author's Note

This is very unfocused, but I'm sad......I'm sure to revise.

Reviews

[Lyrical Love]

You are pretty raw in this-dancing around in your birthday suit (naked-emotionally)!
This reminds me of a superhero that is able to accomplish everything and yet has his one vice that
cripples him. Super-man LOVE cripples us all-when we are not loved in return (giving our all/and our word). Everyone has a different meaning for LOVE! We use it too loosely today/and it doesn't hold the same power/meaning that it should.
It means a lot to me when a person is truthful. I have said it a million times-tell me why you are here?
When you meet someone new and you aren't promising them the world (with lies from here to China), but are opening up your chest so that they can see your pumps for them, and you still get crapped on...
That is when you get a poem like this B.
There is a lack of compassion in our world now for truth, honesty, and realness.
The one thing that stood out the most in this write for me was that you were wounded you bolded/used caps for the ABLE in vulnerable. It's GOOD to know that it wasn't you and all of your fine attributes that caused the end of your relationship (so don't question yourself). Just know that you are still ABLE! ...to do whatever it is that Bridge wants to do, when you want to do it. You are allowed to have your moment and then get on/over, and enjoy life. This poem also says that you are magnanimous!!
As usual you provoke thought and encourage one to look in the mirror.
Standing O' for this one too.

[Christina Braceros]

I love this> Bridgey it's so ...i cant find the words right now besides incredible!!!!

[Rebecca Rogers]

>I've been in love, it's just that
>no one's ever been in love, WITH.....me

I think these two lines ring true for a lot of people, including me. KEEP YOUR HEAD UP! Don't ever lose hope. It hurts when you care about someone, but they don't care about you in the same way. You will find somebody in the future and then you'll realize why it would've never worked out with this other girl. :)))

[Mason Vail]

DUDE. (yeah, I said DUDE)
That is raw and painful and bleeding and... beautiful. Talk about baring your soul!
Despite the myth of the "perfect someone" our fairy tales and Hollywood culture has ingrained in us, love and committment can bridge the gaps. Be patient, but don't settle for uncommitted. And don't give up.

[Jason]

Nice i see where you are/ could go with this one. I liked this!

Sometimes I realized that you only want something because you can't have it... there's more fish in the sea OG.



Thanks

[Taylor Maye]

i liked it, i want to see this revised as well

[Lady V]

AWH.....Such raw emotion makes a women so sad to see a man that tries his hardest even though it wasnt enough. At least not enough for her. So sad a feeling yet it is followed by strength and self wortn that makes it all worth it.


Great piece. I always enjoy reading your feelings in a poem. They are very in depth and you do not hold back. That is always a plus. Always a pleasure.

Live, Love and Learn

Lady V

[M. View]

This poem is great on many different levels. To me it tells of the love thats not returned and the pain that comes with it and we all have been in that boat. I like it

Peace

[perfectlymetiKulous]

I can tell that you're sad, but I glimpse the focus in the poem..
I know where you're coming from.
Still asking questions that have no answers. :(
I enjoyed the read, I feel like I got a peek into your soul.

[Miss K. Minilla]

awe man...this was superb