Vulner ABLE ("I Lost" Vol. 4)

I don't know.....

 

"It's been awhile.....since I can say that I wasn't addicted

It's been awhile.....since I can say that I love myself as well"

                            - Staind,  "It's been awhile"

 

Vulner ABLE

("I Lost" Vol. 3)

 

by "NakedAsTheDayIWasBorn" Crewe

 

 

 

I really want you to look,

            But I'd rather you didn't see

All of the insecurities,

securing my "Me"

I know I can be,

  everything you want me to be

I've been in love,

          it's just that

no one's ever been in love WITH.....me

 

but you made me do it alone,

you were suppose to do it with me!

we were both suppose to jump when we counted to three!

one......

   two....

                      tool

 

I feel like the biggest fool

 

Me jumping, you staying,

Falling without a ‘chute or a pool

 

I can't even look into a mirror

Ashamed of my own reflection!

And with bloody knuckles,

I taught this glass mirror a lesson!

DON'T YOU DARE LOOK AT ME!

I can't even stand to see

The vulnerABLE "ility"

           you put inside of me!

 

 

What the f**k is wrong with me!?!?!?

I keep my ambitions high, go to work wearing a fly suit with matching shirt and a tie, got a 401K plan, & a stable car & place, with no kids, or any "baby mama drama" as of TODAY, read over 500 books, I've taken lessons to cook, and I don't base my attraction to women, just by their looks, I read and write poetry, paint, and love my mother, my pops is my best friend, though I still fight with my brother, I pray everyday, eat the vegetables on my plate, and I can give your car a tune-up, change the oil & brakes, I'm quick on the uptake, funny as hell, the sex is safe, and I can f**k like a 20 year, paroled prison inmate! So as I say what I'm saying, one thing only haunts me, and with water blurring my vision I wonder......

WHY DOESN'T SHE WANT ME?!

 

I worshiped every print......

that came from her feet!

But see,

     she took advantage of my vulnerA-bility!

I opened up & told her things

        I haven't even told God yet

We made "pinky promises",

 two peas in a pod but yet......

She wasn't honest!

        And I think, honestly.....

  I need to be

Up in a club to find a girl

         I can get home with me!

 

Because I still have my cool and all of my special tools, I would, normally use on her, sooner rather than later.....

Tools to get that a*s & have her split, quick fast before the neighbors slip on the morning dew while getting their morning paper!

 

But I think….. if I would do that, 

                you know what will occur?

The moment after I fill the condom, I'll be back thinking of "her"

 

 

Not a drink, not a dame,

not a needle-injected vein

will contain enough sedation

 to help me escape the pain!

 

 

I hate being vulnerable, I wish I could disappear

I'm 5ft 11,

   187 pounds of fear!

 

But the fear makes me Bridgey

& Bridgey faces his fears

So when I'm fighting something scary

 I'm STILL swinging

  while shedding tears!

 

We all bare crosses,

and have suffered tremendous losses

But we can’t lose ourselves with the fear

and what the cost is

I loved this woman hard,

but the love wasn’t returned

And I lived and learned, and got burned,

and the knowledge that was earned……

 

Is that although I'm vulnerABLE,

                I can still stand like a man!

I fall down,

then I get up,

  and I'm fighting again! 

Maybe the end isn't "thee END"

Just the end of that girl

  So I'm proud to be vulnerABLE,

                naked to the world.....

 

 

Author's Note

This is very unfocused, but I'm sad......I'm sure to revise.

Reviews

[Lyrical Love]

You are pretty raw in this-dancing around in your birthday suit (naked-emotionally)!
This reminds me of a superhero that is able to accomplish everything and yet has his one vice that
cripples him. Super-man LOVE cripples us all-when we are not loved in return (giving our all/and our word). Everyone has a different meaning for LOVE! We use it too loosely today/and it doesn't hold the same power/meaning that it should.
It means a lot to me when a person is truthful. I have said it a million times-tell me why you are here?
When you meet someone new and you aren't promising them the world (with lies from here to China), but are opening up your chest so that they can see your pumps for them, and you still get crapped on...
That is when you get a poem like this B.
There is a lack of compassion in our world now for truth, honesty, and realness.
The one thing that stood out the most in this write for me was that you were wounded you bolded/used caps for the ABLE in vulnerable. It's GOOD to know that it wasn't you and all of your fine attributes that caused the end of your relationship (so don't question yourself). Just know that you are still ABLE! ...to do whatever it is that Bridge wants to do, when you want to do it. You are allowed to have your moment and then get on/over, and enjoy life. This poem also says that you are magnanimous!!
As usual you provoke thought and encourage one to look in the mirror.
Standing O' for this one too.

[Collette]

snap-worthy, indeed. I think there is something to be said about the healing of a broken heart...often more messy than the initial bomb. I like that you pose periodical questions throughout the piece...something similar to what anybody with a broken heart would do. However, I think your greatest accomplishment in this poem is your resolution: bearing the scars with a lion roar, sans mane and all. I have to say, this little ditty was SICK:

What the f**k is wrong with me!?!?!??!

I keep my ambitions high, and to work, I wear a fly suit with matching shirt and tie, got a 401K, & a stable car & place, with no kids, or any "baby mama drama" as of TODAY, read over 500 books, I've taken lessons to cook, and I don't base my attraction to women, just by their looks, I read and write poetry, paint, and love my mother, my pops is my best friend, though still fight with my brother, I pray everyday, eat the vegetables on my plate, and I can give your car a tune-up, change the oil & brakes, I'm quick on the uptake, funny as hell and safe, and I can f**k like a 20 year, paroled prison inmate! So as I say what I'm saying, one thing only haunts me, and with water blurring my vision I wonder

WHY SHE DOESN'T WANT ME?!

...there is a sick urgency in those lines that I think anybody who has a heart can relate to. Even more, I think it solidifies the fact that you're better off without her. If she left all that, SHE's the fool.

[Theta S. T.]

Wow..I'm sorry it took so long for me to read this.....again.....wow! I like how you took something real (for mostly females) and made me understand it in a guys point of view. I've always loved reading and writing poems and books about things that I'm going through or have been through. Alot of your lines fit together as though it is a melody being played in the back round and the others made you feel the beat. Which didn't matter much because each stanza you could see the tempo it needed to follow. Great write love, I shall be back for more.

Much love
~~Theta

[Spoken]

The vulnerABLE "illity" you put inside of me!


wow.. awsome word crafting. love can be a complicated mess... unfocused and confusing.. so i'd say that same feel in your words fits the subject. keep it real

[jay-lyse]

i enjoyed dis poem so much ... to say the least the vulnerablity, the compassion , the agression... everything was almost like to another level ... my favorite lines are:

I can't look into a mirror /Ashamed of my own reflection! /And with bloody knuckles, I teach the glass mirror a lesson! /DON'T YOU DARE LOOK AT ME! /I can't even stand to see /The vulnerABLE "illity" you put inside of me! /What the f**k is wrong with me!?!?!??!

the rawness in voice as i read is jus amazing ... i sympathize with how you feel ... i know the feeling of being on cloud nine ... feeling those butterflies in the pit of your stomach ... but i also know how it feels when you finally realize that everything you thought you had is really jus a fantasy ... the pain is overwhelming ... but i appreciate the way you expressed urself ... the honesty is what its really about... (-:

[Sorry Infamous]

This was so powerful, so potent.
The raw feeling and I liked the closer in the end. It's not the end of you 'it's the end of that girl' I think everyone can relate to this.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

You really know how to stir up the emotions with great tone and analogies... Everyone of us I think has someone that is our kryptonite... I don't think it is unfocused i think it shows the true emotions of loving someone who doesn't love you.

[BlessedLove]

I really like this one! yet another raw, emotional poem! those are the poems I'm for! seriously!

Once again..I'm sorry you're sad..but I'm glad masterpieces like this could be brought about.

Thanx for sharing!

P.s.... ur fonts totally add to the essence of the whole thing! like WOW!

God bless!

~~~BlessedLove~~;)

[Fear Corrupts!]

Ahh.

" I've been in love, it's just that
no one's ever been in love, WITH.....me "

- Simple, but my favourite line.
I'm sure that a LOT of people can relate to what is said in that very line.


Well written.

[ Fear Corrupts! ]

[Travis Lawrence]

Lots of emotion poured into this piece, so I won't critique it. But my advice to your personal life is to take step outside of yourself and try to find the voice speaking here. It's your ego, isn't it? When we let our egos control us, they destroy us. The war on the self is perpetrated by the ego, so don't listen to its pessimistic whispers degrading the body and mind it occupies. If she doesn't want you, she doesn't want you. What you should realize is that you can go within yourself to "escape the pain." We are our own Gods with the precious gift of imagination. One only has to imagine happiness to let it come to fruition.

Take care and have a nice day,
Travis

P.S. sorry to intrude if you didn't want to self-help advice, just thought I'd throw in my two cents...

[Amanda]

this is more focused than you think, my dear Bridge...and don't you dare revise it. it shows what is going through your mind and your heart. we all have our vulnerabilities and expressing them is what we do.

i agree with Lyrical Love on this one. your attributes is what sets you apart from all the rest and despite the fact that you laid yourself open to this person, you were truthful...it just shows how much of a fake she really was.


Although I'm so vulnerABLE, I stand like a man!

I fall down, then I get up,

and I'm fighting again!

Maybe the end isn't "thee END"

Just the end of that girl

I'm proud to be vulnerABLE,

naked to the world....

...this says it all...

Amanda