Vulner ABLE ("I Lost" Vol. 4)

I don't know.....

 

"It's been awhile.....since I can say that I wasn't addicted

It's been awhile.....since I can say that I love myself as well"

                            - Staind,  "It's been awhile"

 

Vulner ABLE

("I Lost" Vol. 3)

 

by "NakedAsTheDayIWasBorn" Crewe

 

 

 

I really want you to look,

            But I'd rather you didn't see

All of the insecurities,

securing my "Me"

I know I can be,

  everything you want me to be

I've been in love,

          it's just that

no one's ever been in love WITH.....me

 

but you made me do it alone,

you were suppose to do it with me!

we were both suppose to jump when we counted to three!

one......

   two....

                      tool

 

I feel like the biggest fool

 

Me jumping, you staying,

Falling without a ‘chute or a pool

 

I can't even look into a mirror

Ashamed of my own reflection!

And with bloody knuckles,

I taught this glass mirror a lesson!

DON'T YOU DARE LOOK AT ME!

I can't even stand to see

The vulnerABLE "ility"

           you put inside of me!

 

 

What the f**k is wrong with me!?!?!?

I keep my ambitions high, go to work wearing a fly suit with matching shirt and a tie, got a 401K plan, & a stable car & place, with no kids, or any "baby mama drama" as of TODAY, read over 500 books, I've taken lessons to cook, and I don't base my attraction to women, just by their looks, I read and write poetry, paint, and love my mother, my pops is my best friend, though I still fight with my brother, I pray everyday, eat the vegetables on my plate, and I can give your car a tune-up, change the oil & brakes, I'm quick on the uptake, funny as hell, the sex is safe, and I can f**k like a 20 year, paroled prison inmate! So as I say what I'm saying, one thing only haunts me, and with water blurring my vision I wonder......

WHY DOESN'T SHE WANT ME?!

 

I worshiped every print......

that came from her feet!

But see,

     she took advantage of my vulnerA-bility!

I opened up & told her things

        I haven't even told God yet

We made "pinky promises",

 two peas in a pod but yet......

She wasn't honest!

        And I think, honestly.....

  I need to be

Up in a club to find a girl

         I can get home with me!

 

Because I still have my cool and all of my special tools, I would, normally use on her, sooner rather than later.....

Tools to get that a*s & have her split, quick fast before the neighbors slip on the morning dew while getting their morning paper!

 

But I think….. if I would do that, 

                you know what will occur?

The moment after I fill the condom, I'll be back thinking of "her"

 

 

Not a drink, not a dame,

not a needle-injected vein

will contain enough sedation

 to help me escape the pain!

 

 

I hate being vulnerable, I wish I could disappear

I'm 5ft 11,

   187 pounds of fear!

 

But the fear makes me Bridgey

& Bridgey faces his fears

So when I'm fighting something scary

 I'm STILL swinging

  while shedding tears!

 

We all bare crosses,

and have suffered tremendous losses

But we can’t lose ourselves with the fear

and what the cost is

I loved this woman hard,

but the love wasn’t returned

And I lived and learned, and got burned,

and the knowledge that was earned……

 

Is that although I'm vulnerABLE,

                I can still stand like a man!

I fall down,

then I get up,

  and I'm fighting again! 

Maybe the end isn't "thee END"

Just the end of that girl

  So I'm proud to be vulnerABLE,

                naked to the world.....

 

 

Author's Note

This is very unfocused, but I'm sad......I'm sure to revise.

Reviews

[Lyrical Love]

You are pretty raw in this-dancing around in your birthday suit (naked-emotionally)!
This reminds me of a superhero that is able to accomplish everything and yet has his one vice that
cripples him. Super-man LOVE cripples us all-when we are not loved in return (giving our all/and our word). Everyone has a different meaning for LOVE! We use it too loosely today/and it doesn't hold the same power/meaning that it should.
It means a lot to me when a person is truthful. I have said it a million times-tell me why you are here?
When you meet someone new and you aren't promising them the world (with lies from here to China), but are opening up your chest so that they can see your pumps for them, and you still get crapped on...
That is when you get a poem like this B.
There is a lack of compassion in our world now for truth, honesty, and realness.
The one thing that stood out the most in this write for me was that you were wounded you bolded/used caps for the ABLE in vulnerable. It's GOOD to know that it wasn't you and all of your fine attributes that caused the end of your relationship (so don't question yourself). Just know that you are still ABLE! ...to do whatever it is that Bridge wants to do, when you want to do it. You are allowed to have your moment and then get on/over, and enjoy life. This poem also says that you are magnanimous!!
As usual you provoke thought and encourage one to look in the mirror.
Standing O' for this one too.

[luke312]

Can't give more rating for this one. Anyone with a heart that has been hurt can feel this writing. Got to add to favorites

[Phibby Venable]

I taught this glass mirror a lesson!

DON'T YOU DARE LOOK AT ME!

I can't even stand to see

The vulnerABLE "ility"

you put inside of me!

I love those lines, Bridgey!! wonderful, raw, honest and strong work! Excellent.

[LisetteCanWrite!]

Wow.. such raw emotions pouring out.. nice to hear a guy's point of view.. especially the ones in the clubs.. I always wondered what went through a guy's head that goes out to pick up the easy target! Well you are hooked on a girl that probably isn't worth the trouble.. or it just wasn't meant to be.. but to give up and just go out and pick anyone up just doesn't work.. condom or not you are taking risks and ruining your reputation.. I like to go out and dance but not into the pick up scene! Too many hassles and trouble.. I have base rules I live by though that will not allow me to do that... I am different than most. I hope you find someone better than the one you yearn for.. and that she loves you back as much as you love her! =)

[Brianna Brie]

I'm quick on the uptake, funny as hell and safe, and I can f**k like a 20 year, paroled prison inmate!

Cool...I may have picked the above line out for its wittiness, but it is the vulnerability that makes this poem work. You are feeling vulnerable and yet you make yourself more vulnerable by telling all of us all about it. How ironic is that?? Thanks for sharing as we can all relate at some point in time.

[Bud]

Unfocused seems to be spot-on! Wow! How it flows and rolls like a smooth flowing river. All your poems sure do deliver. You are a true modern day poet. Keep up the excellent work.

[Jolyrose]

Bridgey... I want to start out with... passion, raw emotion, go for the throat, make you squirm realness.

Then go to, I'ma cut the b***h (verbally)!

Love (or lack of) is what brings us up or knocks us down. Don't stop being the man you are due to lack of appreciation from women who either don't know what they've got in front of them or don't care.

I could quote chapter and verse on the ills of men, but I don't give up.

*) Head up, Bridgey.

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

You are so right on with your writings. They are raw, real and compelling. These are feelings expressed that I can truly empathize with. Your touch of humor really adds a great deal as well as the sincerity of the work. Best of luck in your pursuits. You are a true talent. It is such a pleasure reading your work.
Light,
Siddartha

[Virgin 101]

Damn! Damn! Damn! I couldn't even read the rest as I could relate. Perhaps one day I will have the courage to finish read it.

[Virgin 101]

Damn! Damn! Damn! I couldn't even read the rest as I could relate. Perhaps one day I will have the courage to finish read it.

[Collette]

snap-worthy, indeed. I think there is something to be said about the healing of a broken heart...often more messy than the initial bomb. I like that you pose periodical questions throughout the piece...something similar to what anybody with a broken heart would do. However, I think your greatest accomplishment in this poem is your resolution: bearing the scars with a lion roar, sans mane and all. I have to say, this little ditty was SICK:

What the f**k is wrong with me!?!?!??!

I keep my ambitions high, and to work, I wear a fly suit with matching shirt and tie, got a 401K, & a stable car & place, with no kids, or any "baby mama drama" as of TODAY, read over 500 books, I've taken lessons to cook, and I don't base my attraction to women, just by their looks, I read and write poetry, paint, and love my mother, my pops is my best friend, though still fight with my brother, I pray everyday, eat the vegetables on my plate, and I can give your car a tune-up, change the oil & brakes, I'm quick on the uptake, funny as hell and safe, and I can f**k like a 20 year, paroled prison inmate! So as I say what I'm saying, one thing only haunts me, and with water blurring my vision I wonder

WHY SHE DOESN'T WANT ME?!

...there is a sick urgency in those lines that I think anybody who has a heart can relate to. Even more, I think it solidifies the fact that you're better off without her. If she left all that, SHE's the fool.