I Can See Her (Punch Drunk Love)

I've been involved with a platonic friend but I end up "seeing" her and falling in love. I have a few drinks, give her a call to express my feelings, voicemail... I embarrass myself.

 

"Six numbers.......One more to dial.....

               Before I'm, before you..........."

 - John Mayer  "Man on the Side"

 

Punch Drunk Love

 

               by "DrunkDialer" McLovin

 

 

*Sorry I missed your call,

               please leave a message*BEEP!!

 

 

What's up Maria,

I'm sorry that I missed you

But I want to tell you something,

       And I hope it doesn't become an issue

I... I really miss you

                  I hate saying it out loud

I wanna be fearless enough

  to say it loud & proud!!

Now I've had a few drinks,

          but that's not a facade

And I know, before you ask me...

I SSSWEAR TO DRUNK

        I AIN'T GOD

But that's enough about me,

this message is about you

And the journey of learning You

            That you've taken me through

I can see you now!!!

        Maria, I can see you!

I see your entire being within,

and not merely a shortened preview

I see an intelligent, charming,

& very beautiful individual

So while other men are only smitten

by all of your gorgeous physical...

GGGifts that God's given you

THERE'S MORE THAT I'M INTO!

AND I BELIEVE THAT MY INTRIGUE

   IS INDEED VERY MENTAL!

 

I MEAN OF COURSE

I WANNA F**K YOU!

WHO WOULDN'T

        WANNA F**K YOU?!?!

S**t, I do!

       I wanna f**k!

BUT!!!...

as much as I wanna f**k

I WANNA KNOW

         WHAT THE F**K

IS ON YOUR MIND

          JUST AS MUCH!

 

That's just the booze talking

     Still, I want you to know

That your heart won't be ignored

only because you're beautiful!

 

YES YOU ARE

a very Beautiful... Mind

           like Russell Crowe

A mind, I didn't mind

mining inside to get to know

 

You unequivocally have a true & cunning ability to blind me immensely with your radiant energy, a radiation displayed that made me run for shade because your shine's so divine, it could cast permanent day, but then your rays ricocheted right off of the shade's grey destroying it, coincidentally blinding me anyway

(HICCUP, BURP)

 

 When you're gone, I question 

    IF, WHEN & FOR how long?

Before I can see your face again,

The melodic song you sing in conversational form, plays blatant and adjacent to when we converse as you...

       make me smile without trying

           and laugh until you start crying

If I said "I'd be fine without you in my life."

           I would be lying   

                            

 

    

  I love how when I say "I miss you"

           You tell me to "Prove it"!

And how you dance like there's no one else in the room except for the music

 

I know you wish your parents could see just how far that you've come

But I SEE a great woman who's greatness has only just begun!

 

I know you wish your friends could see and appreciate your selfless love

But I SEE a friend who loves them like they were your own "blood"!

 

I know you wish that your boss could respect your hard work

But I SEE your intelligence, your skills and know exactly what you're worth!

 

I know you wish men could see just how much you have to offer

But I SEE a woman that's deserving of nothing short of the alter!

 

 

I SWEAR TO GOD,

     I CAN SEE YOU!

   AND I SEE WHAT YOU DESERVE

         A man who really loves you

And who's not afraid

of the words!!!

   A man who doesn't just talk it

      He says it and does the s**t!!

A man who loves your WHOLE body

  And not love you because of it!

                                          I'm not afraid now,

    so I tell you who I want to be!

 I want to be the one who passionately gives you exactly what you need!

You're everything to me!!

             I WOULD PUT

        NO ONE ABOVE YOU!!!

          AND MARIA,

YOU NEED TO KNOW NOW....(**sigh**)

 

THAT I LOV BEEP!!! 

(mailbox....is full)

 

 

Author's Note

I'm not really big on conventional stories of romance and romantic poetry. It may be a reflection of my own life, but rarely am I moved or entertained by overdone words of "climbing mountains" and "everlasting love and feelings" and shit. I like quirky tales and original expressions of telling someone that they are special to you. The subject "SEES" the woman. Everyone else in her life doesn't, but with getting to know her he really "sees" how wonderful this woman is and he falls in love. He just needs a little "liquid confidence" then decides to call her and tell her!

Reviews

[~angelalala~]

hey i've gotten a few voicemails like this, minus all the 'i love your mind' parts & mostly just the 'i wanna f**k you' parts. i loved this & despite the fact that it is an amusing write, hidden within is a beautiful love poem!
"You inequvocally have a true & cunning ability to blind me immensely with your radiant energy, a radiation displayed that made me run for shade because your shine's so divine, it could cast permanent "day"" this is beautiful! i love your explanation too about how everyone else in her life doesn't see who she is. everyone wants someone to love them like this. i think deep inside you hides a very romantic lovey-dovey soul ;) i like the humor mixed in with this what is overall, a truly beautiful love poem. great write.

[Bella]

"I SSSWEAR TO DRUNK
I AIN'T GOD!!!"

That made me laugh. Yet again another great, great story. The ending was so funny, but sad at the same time, because he never got to tell her. Drunk phone calls can be pretty amusing. I am so excited to read more of your work!!

[Phantom Heart]

Simply fantastic, not just the writing (the people below me pretty much said it all) But the color and size of the words used were a very nice touch they seemed to help the mood flow better to. It's not hard to see all the work you put into it, without making the reader work to get through it.
"I SSSWEAR TO DRUNK I AIN'T GOD!!!" it's absolutely fantastic, my favorite line.

[Ms. Lavender Love]

Man this is a wonderful write. So many women want a guy who would and could say these kind of things to them. (hopefully not drunk) This poem makes you laugh not only at it, but also at yourself because we've all been there. This poem is so raw and edgy. I'm feeling it! You're just so damn real. I can't possibly explain how much I love reading your work.
"I swear to Drunk I aint God!" was genius. What's next? Please don't ever stop writing.

[Shadow]

Amazingly original and very well written the change in fonts and size really off set the underlying message and the fact that it cutsoff right at the end is really funny thanks for sharing

[Taylor H]

this was nothing short of AMAZING! i put all your poems you send me into my reading llist so i can show my friends

[Ayla Automatic]

Yep, we've all done the drunk calls before, I know I have. Loved the way you put it together with rhyming schemes and non-rhyming ones, fantastic! Loved it! You definetely had me reading it until the end. Great story line!

[Mason Vail]

Another great one! I love how the passion screams out in your work and the humor catches me by surprise before it can get heavy. :)

[ANNA]

You had me gripping the computer sceen. I was laughing my butt off, knowing the things I know...not that I have ever done the druch call!! lol ;)
Anyways, a eoungh about me! You did a great job of going in depth and not getting to over the love part as you said your not big on conventional stories of romance. I found that you being something I had never seen in poetry for a long time and I'm so under your spell of wanting to know what made you write it this way and did this really happen!? lol You are right, I would love this piece. I can't wrap my head around the all the passion and drunken talk that you perfected! My, this is one of my many fav's. You really now how to confidence better then me...ops! lol Well writen I might add as always!!

THAT I LO BEEP!!! mailbox is full....lol I love that ending

Much loven respect,
Anna

[Christina Braceros]

OM sweet mary and joseph I LOVE IT!!!!! this is really heartfelt....Your so great Bridgey. this is a masterpiece worth noting. I'm amazed.