I Can See Her (Punch Drunk Love)

I've been involved with a platonic friend but I end up "seeing" her and falling in love. I have a few drinks, give her a call to express my feelings, voicemail... I embarrass myself.

 

"Six numbers.......One more to dial.....

               Before I'm, before you..........."

 - John Mayer  "Man on the Side"

 

Punch Drunk Love

 

               by "DrunkDialer" McLovin

 

 

*Sorry I missed your call,

               please leave a message*BEEP!!

 

 

What's up Maria,

I'm sorry that I missed you

But I want to tell you something,

       And I hope it doesn't become an issue

I... I really miss you

                  I hate saying it out loud

I wanna be fearless enough

  to say it loud & proud!!

Now I've had a few drinks,

          but that's not a facade

And I know, before you ask me...

I SSSWEAR TO DRUNK

        I AIN'T GOD

But that's enough about me,

this message is about you

And the journey of learning You

            That you've taken me through

I can see you now!!!

        Maria, I can see you!

I see your entire being within,

and not merely a shortened preview

I see an intelligent, charming,

& very beautiful individual

So while other men are only smitten

by all of your gorgeous physical...

GGGifts that God's given you

THERE'S MORE THAT I'M INTO!

AND I BELIEVE THAT MY INTRIGUE

   IS INDEED VERY MENTAL!

 

I MEAN OF COURSE

I WANNA F**K YOU!

WHO WOULDN'T

        WANNA F**K YOU?!?!

S**t, I do!

       I wanna f**k!

BUT!!!...

as much as I wanna f**k

I WANNA KNOW

         WHAT THE F**K

IS ON YOUR MIND

          JUST AS MUCH!

 

That's just the booze talking

     Still, I want you to know

That your heart won't be ignored

only because you're beautiful!

 

YES YOU ARE

a very Beautiful... Mind

           like Russell Crowe

A mind, I didn't mind

mining inside to get to know

 

You unequivocally have a true & cunning ability to blind me immensely with your radiant energy, a radiation displayed that made me run for shade because your shine's so divine, it could cast permanent day, but then your rays ricocheted right off of the shade's grey destroying it, coincidentally blinding me anyway

(HICCUP, BURP)

 

 When you're gone, I question 

    IF, WHEN & FOR how long?

Before I can see your face again,

The melodic song you sing in conversational form, plays blatant and adjacent to when we converse as you...

       make me smile without trying

           and laugh until you start crying

If I said "I'd be fine without you in my life."

           I would be lying   

                            

 

    

  I love how when I say "I miss you"

           You tell me to "Prove it"!

And how you dance like there's no one else in the room except for the music

 

I know you wish your parents could see just how far that you've come

But I SEE a great woman who's greatness has only just begun!

 

I know you wish your friends could see and appreciate your selfless love

But I SEE a friend who loves them like they were your own "blood"!

 

I know you wish that your boss could respect your hard work

But I SEE your intelligence, your skills and know exactly what you're worth!

 

I know you wish men could see just how much you have to offer

But I SEE a woman that's deserving of nothing short of the alter!

 

 

I SWEAR TO GOD,

     I CAN SEE YOU!

   AND I SEE WHAT YOU DESERVE

         A man who really loves you

And who's not afraid

of the words!!!

   A man who doesn't just talk it

      He says it and does the s**t!!

A man who loves your WHOLE body

  And not love you because of it!

                                          I'm not afraid now,

    so I tell you who I want to be!

 I want to be the one who passionately gives you exactly what you need!

You're everything to me!!

             I WOULD PUT

        NO ONE ABOVE YOU!!!

          AND MARIA,

YOU NEED TO KNOW NOW....(**sigh**)

 

THAT I LOV BEEP!!! 

(mailbox....is full)

 

 

Author's Note

I'm not really big on conventional stories of romance and romantic poetry. It may be a reflection of my own life, but rarely am I moved or entertained by overdone words of "climbing mountains" and "everlasting love and feelings" and shit. I like quirky tales and original expressions of telling someone that they are special to you. The subject "SEES" the woman. Everyone else in her life doesn't, but with getting to know her he really "sees" how wonderful this woman is and he falls in love. He just needs a little "liquid confidence" then decides to call her and tell her!

Reviews

[~angelalala~]

hey i've gotten a few voicemails like this, minus all the 'i love your mind' parts & mostly just the 'i wanna f**k you' parts. i loved this & despite the fact that it is an amusing write, hidden within is a beautiful love poem!
"You inequvocally have a true & cunning ability to blind me immensely with your radiant energy, a radiation displayed that made me run for shade because your shine's so divine, it could cast permanent "day"" this is beautiful! i love your explanation too about how everyone else in her life doesn't see who she is. everyone wants someone to love them like this. i think deep inside you hides a very romantic lovey-dovey soul ;) i like the humor mixed in with this what is overall, a truly beautiful love poem. great write.

[Steve Thompson]

dig the creativity, and the end was a sweet tie in with the direction you were going. Really nice piece.

[perfectlymetiKulous]

This is rather charming to me, in an eccentric sort of way. Only because I know where the feelings come from... and the feeling that you just have to share them. :)

[Viper9]

Hahahahahahaha! Sweetly profane? profanely sweet? It's an unconventional romance, this one, and I'm happy to support any poem that tries to get at a woman's inner Russell Crowe.

Nice work!

(And hell of a flow, as always. You've got a gift for flow.)

[Zatoichi]

very funny, and sad because i relate completely. you got the mix of humor and pathos just right.

[Xeru]

This joint was hot to death... lol You know whats funny, I get clever like that after I smoke... What's even funnier is i've never written anything after smokin... One day that s**t is going to change.. One day.. But yeah...

But yeah man... This was a another great write... You are able to channel that clever energy into any subject matter. This joint was great... I dont know how many times I've had a phenomonal freestyle session in a car and just lost it. Words come with so much clarity. Preciseness. Injecting your purest of pure into the delivery. And it came when you were fucked up in the game. This is exactly what I think of when I read this clever a*s poem. The flow.. The Runs...and the content is so on point. How you see everything you need to see in a woman and know exactly how you feel but cant nessarrily put it together at the right opportune times. This joint was born and constructed at the same time. And not too many artist can pull off such a balance. I'm definately a fan of your joints man. And this is when you are trying to write something. I cant wait to hear something that just comes to you... lol

[Adam Chambers]

very entertaining! : )

[Lady V]

So much energy flows from your poems. I cant help but hang on every word waiting for the next to become visible. Great piece.

You are such an amazing poet. This poem, although I laughed, felt personal and endearing. It was honest....even though drunk...... From the lips of alcohol comes the truest words ever heard. Or so they say. lol What woman would not want a man pouring out his heart on your answering machine. Especially so we can play it back over and again.

Keep the read requests coming.

Live, Love and Learn

Lady V

[~angelalala~]

hey i've gotten a few voicemails like this, minus all the 'i love your mind' parts & mostly just the 'i wanna f**k you' parts. i loved this & despite the fact that it is an amusing write, hidden within is a beautiful love poem!
"You inequvocally have a true & cunning ability to blind me immensely with your radiant energy, a radiation displayed that made me run for shade because your shine's so divine, it could cast permanent "day"" this is beautiful! i love your explanation too about how everyone else in her life doesn't see who she is. everyone wants someone to love them like this. i think deep inside you hides a very romantic lovey-dovey soul ;) i like the humor mixed in with this what is overall, a truly beautiful love poem. great write.

[Rebecca Rogers]

Do you realize how many women want a man who does just this?

This is a really great piece and I love the drunk perspective. HA-HA Gotta love those drunk dials. I especially loved this part:

(HICCUP, BURP)

HILARIOUS, my friend.

BTW - Are you ever going to tell her? :)))