I Can See Her (Punch Drunk Love)

I've been involved with a platonic friend but I end up "seeing" her and falling in love. I have a few drinks, give her a call to express my feelings, voicemail... I embarrass myself.

 

"Six numbers.......One more to dial.....

               Before I'm, before you..........."

 - John Mayer  "Man on the Side"

 

Punch Drunk Love

 

               by "DrunkDialer" McLovin

 

 

*Sorry I missed your call,

               please leave a message*BEEP!!

 

 

What's up Maria,

I'm sorry that I missed you

But I want to tell you something,

       And I hope it doesn't become an issue

I... I really miss you

                  I hate saying it out loud

I wanna be fearless enough

  to say it loud & proud!!

Now I've had a few drinks,

          but that's not a facade

And I know, before you ask me...

I SSSWEAR TO DRUNK

        I AIN'T GOD

But that's enough about me,

this message is about you

And the journey of learning You

            That you've taken me through

I can see you now!!!

        Maria, I can see you!

I see your entire being within,

and not merely a shortened preview

I see an intelligent, charming,

& very beautiful individual

So while other men are only smitten

by all of your gorgeous physical...

GGGifts that God's given you

THERE'S MORE THAT I'M INTO!

AND I BELIEVE THAT MY INTRIGUE

   IS INDEED VERY MENTAL!

 

I MEAN OF COURSE

I WANNA F**K YOU!

WHO WOULDN'T

        WANNA F**K YOU?!?!

S**t, I do!

       I wanna f**k!

BUT!!!...

as much as I wanna f**k

I WANNA KNOW

         WHAT THE F**K

IS ON YOUR MIND

          JUST AS MUCH!

 

That's just the booze talking

     Still, I want you to know

That your heart won't be ignored

only because you're beautiful!

 

YES YOU ARE

a very Beautiful... Mind

           like Russell Crowe

A mind, I didn't mind

mining inside to get to know

 

You unequivocally have a true & cunning ability to blind me immensely with your radiant energy, a radiation displayed that made me run for shade because your shine's so divine, it could cast permanent day, but then your rays ricocheted right off of the shade's grey destroying it, coincidentally blinding me anyway

(HICCUP, BURP)

 

 When you're gone, I question 

    IF, WHEN & FOR how long?

Before I can see your face again,

The melodic song you sing in conversational form, plays blatant and adjacent to when we converse as you...

       make me smile without trying

           and laugh until you start crying

If I said "I'd be fine without you in my life."

           I would be lying   

                            

 

    

  I love how when I say "I miss you"

           You tell me to "Prove it"!

And how you dance like there's no one else in the room except for the music

 

I know you wish your parents could see just how far that you've come

But I SEE a great woman who's greatness has only just begun!

 

I know you wish your friends could see and appreciate your selfless love

But I SEE a friend who loves them like they were your own "blood"!

 

I know you wish that your boss could respect your hard work

But I SEE your intelligence, your skills and know exactly what you're worth!

 

I know you wish men could see just how much you have to offer

But I SEE a woman that's deserving of nothing short of the alter!

 

 

I SWEAR TO GOD,

     I CAN SEE YOU!

   AND I SEE WHAT YOU DESERVE

         A man who really loves you

And who's not afraid

of the words!!!

   A man who doesn't just talk it

      He says it and does the s**t!!

A man who loves your WHOLE body

  And not love you because of it!

                                          I'm not afraid now,

    so I tell you who I want to be!

 I want to be the one who passionately gives you exactly what you need!

You're everything to me!!

             I WOULD PUT

        NO ONE ABOVE YOU!!!

          AND MARIA,

YOU NEED TO KNOW NOW....(**sigh**)

 

THAT I LOV BEEP!!! 

(mailbox....is full)

 

 

Author's Note

I'm not really big on conventional stories of romance and romantic poetry. It may be a reflection of my own life, but rarely am I moved or entertained by overdone words of "climbing mountains" and "everlasting love and feelings" and shit. I like quirky tales and original expressions of telling someone that they are special to you. The subject "SEES" the woman. Everyone else in her life doesn't, but with getting to know her he really "sees" how wonderful this woman is and he falls in love. He just needs a little "liquid confidence" then decides to call her and tell her!

Reviews

[~angelalala~]

hey i've gotten a few voicemails like this, minus all the 'i love your mind' parts & mostly just the 'i wanna f**k you' parts. i loved this & despite the fact that it is an amusing write, hidden within is a beautiful love poem!
"You inequvocally have a true & cunning ability to blind me immensely with your radiant energy, a radiation displayed that made me run for shade because your shine's so divine, it could cast permanent "day"" this is beautiful! i love your explanation too about how everyone else in her life doesn't see who she is. everyone wants someone to love them like this. i think deep inside you hides a very romantic lovey-dovey soul ;) i like the humor mixed in with this what is overall, a truly beautiful love poem. great write.

[theperfectfit]

Awww. That was sweet, entertaining and just straight up hilarious all at the same time. A delightful read :)

[Lyrical Love]

I have read this several times I can't believe that I haven't reviewed it!
Probablly because I was laughing so hard-lost my thoughts.
This is so out of the box-FLY-tacular!! I am in love with your pen!
I SWEAR TO GOD,

I CAN SEE YOU!

AND I SEE WHAT YOU DESERVE!!!

A man who really loves you

Who's not afraid of the words!!!

A man who doesn't just say it

He says it and does the s**t!!

A man who loves your WHOLE body

And not love you because of it!

HOT D-A-M-N !!! LOL!!!

[Here's What I Say]

Ohhh...due to personal reasons, I am morally obligated not to laugh at the content of this poem. But as I didn't give up s**t for this Lent:

BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I'm sorry, I can't help it! The mere idea alone of drunk dialing someone is funny, but this is material worthy of a romantic comedy! This was smart, sensitive, and dripping with alcohol. I did NOT think those three belonged together. Did she see this poem? Will she be there when you (drunk) perform this? Wouldn't it be funny if you had a stand to put the poem on but then hold your cell phone with one hand and a beer in the other? That would TOTALLY make a great effect. Your poem is alive with your voice and is full of character--something many poems seem to lack, and the ones that don't are often melancholy and depressed. Glad to see one that's...well, not.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Very funny... a hysterical look at just how love can mix us up so much and make us say things we never thought we would. Very cool!!

[Shelly Araujo]

you got it bad!!! call her! :-) awesome job as always! can't find anything to pick on here, not that I would!

[Divine Pain]

I can see your really trying to find that one girl...I hope you find her one day...I hope you'll have a great relationship like my husband and I

[Divine Pain]

I can see your really trying to find that one girl...I hope you find her one day...I hope you'll have a great relationship like my husband and I

[Collette]

haha I think we've all been here at one point or another. I really enjoyed reading this, though. You kept it fun and rhythmic, but still to the point. I could feel this man's longing through your words...definitely an engaging piece. This isn't the first piece of your work that I've read, but it is the first that I've commented on...and I have to say you definitely have a way of spinning metaphors and rhyme together. I bet your style packs a punch as truly great spoken word tends to do. Keep penning, we're listening.

[just is]

OMG! This is so amazing here, i like this, This is full of entertainment here, this is wonderful, and cute

[-Aurelia Mirella]

Oh this was such a treat! Funny, entertaining, and very REAL.

I thought you did a lovely job with creating an image in the readers' minds. I was able to take your words and picture the slighlty druken man in my mind quite clearly which, of course, made the poem just that more enjoyable.

Well done!

Always,
-Aurelia Mirella