I Can See Her (Punch Drunk Love)

I've been involved with a platonic friend but I end up "seeing" her and falling in love. I have a few drinks, give her a call to express my feelings, voicemail... I embarrass myself.

 

"Six numbers.......One more to dial.....

               Before I'm, before you..........."

 - John Mayer  "Man on the Side"

 

Punch Drunk Love

 

               by "DrunkDialer" McLovin

 

 

*Sorry I missed your call,

               please leave a message*BEEP!!

 

 

What's up Maria,

I'm sorry that I missed you

But I want to tell you something,

       And I hope it doesn't become an issue

I... I really miss you

                  I hate saying it out loud

I wanna be fearless enough

  to say it loud & proud!!

Now I've had a few drinks,

          but that's not a facade

And I know, before you ask me...

I SSSWEAR TO DRUNK

        I AIN'T GOD

But that's enough about me,

this message is about you

And the journey of learning You

            That you've taken me through

I can see you now!!!

        Maria, I can see you!

I see your entire being within,

and not merely a shortened preview

I see an intelligent, charming,

& very beautiful individual

So while other men are only smitten

by all of your gorgeous physical...

GGGifts that God's given you

THERE'S MORE THAT I'M INTO!

AND I BELIEVE THAT MY INTRIGUE

   IS INDEED VERY MENTAL!

 

I MEAN OF COURSE

I WANNA F**K YOU!

WHO WOULDN'T

        WANNA F**K YOU?!?!

S**t, I do!

       I wanna f**k!

BUT!!!...

as much as I wanna f**k

I WANNA KNOW

         WHAT THE F**K

IS ON YOUR MIND

          JUST AS MUCH!

 

That's just the booze talking

     Still, I want you to know

That your heart won't be ignored

only because you're beautiful!

 

YES YOU ARE

a very Beautiful... Mind

           like Russell Crowe

A mind, I didn't mind

mining inside to get to know

 

You unequivocally have a true & cunning ability to blind me immensely with your radiant energy, a radiation displayed that made me run for shade because your shine's so divine, it could cast permanent day, but then your rays ricocheted right off of the shade's grey destroying it, coincidentally blinding me anyway

(HICCUP, BURP)

 

 When you're gone, I question 

    IF, WHEN & FOR how long?

Before I can see your face again,

The melodic song you sing in conversational form, plays blatant and adjacent to when we converse as you...

       make me smile without trying

           and laugh until you start crying

If I said "I'd be fine without you in my life."

           I would be lying   

                            

 

    

  I love how when I say "I miss you"

           You tell me to "Prove it"!

And how you dance like there's no one else in the room except for the music

 

I know you wish your parents could see just how far that you've come

But I SEE a great woman who's greatness has only just begun!

 

I know you wish your friends could see and appreciate your selfless love

But I SEE a friend who loves them like they were your own "blood"!

 

I know you wish that your boss could respect your hard work

But I SEE your intelligence, your skills and know exactly what you're worth!

 

I know you wish men could see just how much you have to offer

But I SEE a woman that's deserving of nothing short of the alter!

 

 

I SWEAR TO GOD,

     I CAN SEE YOU!

   AND I SEE WHAT YOU DESERVE

         A man who really loves you

And who's not afraid

of the words!!!

   A man who doesn't just talk it

      He says it and does the s**t!!

A man who loves your WHOLE body

  And not love you because of it!

                                          I'm not afraid now,

    so I tell you who I want to be!

 I want to be the one who passionately gives you exactly what you need!

You're everything to me!!

             I WOULD PUT

        NO ONE ABOVE YOU!!!

          AND MARIA,

YOU NEED TO KNOW NOW....(**sigh**)

 

THAT I LOV BEEP!!! 

(mailbox....is full)

 

 

Author's Note

I'm not really big on conventional stories of romance and romantic poetry. It may be a reflection of my own life, but rarely am I moved or entertained by overdone words of "climbing mountains" and "everlasting love and feelings" and shit. I like quirky tales and original expressions of telling someone that they are special to you. The subject "SEES" the woman. Everyone else in her life doesn't, but with getting to know her he really "sees" how wonderful this woman is and he falls in love. He just needs a little "liquid confidence" then decides to call her and tell her!

Reviews

[~angelalala~]

hey i've gotten a few voicemails like this, minus all the 'i love your mind' parts & mostly just the 'i wanna f**k you' parts. i loved this & despite the fact that it is an amusing write, hidden within is a beautiful love poem!
"You inequvocally have a true & cunning ability to blind me immensely with your radiant energy, a radiation displayed that made me run for shade because your shine's so divine, it could cast permanent "day"" this is beautiful! i love your explanation too about how everyone else in her life doesn't see who she is. everyone wants someone to love them like this. i think deep inside you hides a very romantic lovey-dovey soul ;) i like the humor mixed in with this what is overall, a truly beautiful love poem. great write.

[Ravenskald]

lol dont listen to em em all the time

[Deadofnight]

Parts are hard to take but most are pretty sweet. The guys around here they don't see you for anything more then something to do, you know.

[sisyqueen2008]

it's very sweet and i liked it a lot plus it had a little bit of humor in it. sorry that the "subject" never got to finish his message,but keep up the good work!

[deeps]

This is so freaking funny! I enjoyed this so much, Thanks for sending this my way. Such amazing write here.

[@zeewhykay]

Just can't get enough of you babaaay (8)

You have an edible sense of humor, I have great respect for your work. Like always the fonts are well chosen. Great job !

[bluessadmood]

I know you wish your parents could see just how far you've come
But I SEE a great woman who's only just begun!
know you wish your friends could see and appreciate your love
But I SEE a friend who loves them like they're your own "blood"
I know you wish that your boss could respect your hard work
But I SEE your strength that represents your most true worth
know you wish men could see just how much you have to offer
But I SEE a wife deserving of nothing short of the alter!
I SWEAR TO GOD,
I CAN SEE YOU!
AND I SEE WHAT YOU DESERVE!!!
wow,this is so nice.i see your works draw so much attention you surely deserve..
this is a very strong show of love,you sing of her,and i can see she is really worth it
God ..who would not love a woman like that ..
lovely write..

[Bud]

This is most original. I, too, like poetry that's off the beaten path. Though, I haven't written any quite as well as this of my own. Keep writing! Your work is fascinating. It is humorous while conveying real life experiences that, at times, tend not to be so humorous. Brilliant!

[Winter McPherson]

I really liked the part where you in turn express how much she wants and needs certain people - parents, boss, etc. to see her in a certain way......and then answer in the way that you see her.

The drunken interjections were humorous.

I liked how you saw her for who she was....

[April Child]

Another great piece of writing. You make me laugh every time yet I feel moved too. The "HICCUP, BURP" is genius as is the finish "BEEP!!! (mailbox....is full)"

You are quite gifted in your ability to dress up vulnerability in humour and this stanza sums it up for me:

"I MEAN OF COURSE I WANNA F**K YOU!
WHO WOULDN'T WANNA F**K YOU?!?!
S**t, I do! I wanna f**k!
BUT!!!......
as much as I wanna f**k
I WANNA KNOW WHAT THE F**K
IS ON YOUR MIND JUST AS MUCH!"

Too funny. Too true! There should be a function on a phone that disables it if you are over the limit!

[Shellie]

I love your style, as i have told you before I'm sure. This was funny at the same time as being actully quite romantic if you look deep. This is true expression!!! The humour is because you feel all these emotions and all this love and respect and you can only get it out when drunk and to voicemail, not face to face which can be very true in reality...it is hard to express this face to face but you made it easier really for yourself because now...you could e mail it!!!!!!! or maybe just tell her??????????????? i really like the ending too, vry well done[as usual]