I Can See Her (Punch Drunk Love)

I've been involved with a platonic friend but I end up "seeing" her and falling in love. I have a few drinks, give her a call to express my feelings, voicemail... I embarrass myself.

 

"Six numbers.......One more to dial.....

               Before I'm, before you..........."

 - John Mayer  "Man on the Side"

 

Punch Drunk Love

 

               by "DrunkDialer" McLovin

 

 

*Sorry I missed your call,

               please leave a message*BEEP!!

 

 

What's up Maria,

I'm sorry that I missed you

But I want to tell you something,

       And I hope it doesn't become an issue

I... I really miss you

                  I hate saying it out loud

I wanna be fearless enough

  to say it loud & proud!!

Now I've had a few drinks,

          but that's not a facade

And I know, before you ask me...

I SSSWEAR TO DRUNK

        I AIN'T GOD

But that's enough about me,

this message is about you

And the journey of learning You

            That you've taken me through

I can see you now!!!

        Maria, I can see you!

I see your entire being within,

and not merely a shortened preview

I see an intelligent, charming,

& very beautiful individual

So while other men are only smitten

by all of your gorgeous physical...

GGGifts that God's given you

THERE'S MORE THAT I'M INTO!

AND I BELIEVE THAT MY INTRIGUE

   IS INDEED VERY MENTAL!

 

I MEAN OF COURSE

I WANNA F**K YOU!

WHO WOULDN'T

        WANNA F**K YOU?!?!

S**t, I do!

       I wanna f**k!

BUT!!!...

as much as I wanna f**k

I WANNA KNOW

         WHAT THE F**K

IS ON YOUR MIND

          JUST AS MUCH!

 

That's just the booze talking

     Still, I want you to know

That your heart won't be ignored

only because you're beautiful!

 

YES YOU ARE

a very Beautiful... Mind

           like Russell Crowe

A mind, I didn't mind

mining inside to get to know

 

You unequivocally have a true & cunning ability to blind me immensely with your radiant energy, a radiation displayed that made me run for shade because your shine's so divine, it could cast permanent day, but then your rays ricocheted right off of the shade's grey destroying it, coincidentally blinding me anyway

(HICCUP, BURP)

 

 When you're gone, I question 

    IF, WHEN & FOR how long?

Before I can see your face again,

The melodic song you sing in conversational form, plays blatant and adjacent to when we converse as you...

       make me smile without trying

           and laugh until you start crying

If I said "I'd be fine without you in my life."

           I would be lying   

                            

 

    

  I love how when I say "I miss you"

           You tell me to "Prove it"!

And how you dance like there's no one else in the room except for the music

 

I know you wish your parents could see just how far that you've come

But I SEE a great woman who's greatness has only just begun!

 

I know you wish your friends could see and appreciate your selfless love

But I SEE a friend who loves them like they were your own "blood"!

 

I know you wish that your boss could respect your hard work

But I SEE your intelligence, your skills and know exactly what you're worth!

 

I know you wish men could see just how much you have to offer

But I SEE a woman that's deserving of nothing short of the alter!

 

 

I SWEAR TO GOD,

     I CAN SEE YOU!

   AND I SEE WHAT YOU DESERVE

         A man who really loves you

And who's not afraid

of the words!!!

   A man who doesn't just talk it

      He says it and does the s**t!!

A man who loves your WHOLE body

  And not love you because of it!

                                          I'm not afraid now,

    so I tell you who I want to be!

 I want to be the one who passionately gives you exactly what you need!

You're everything to me!!

             I WOULD PUT

        NO ONE ABOVE YOU!!!

          AND MARIA,

YOU NEED TO KNOW NOW....(**sigh**)

 

THAT I LOV BEEP!!! 

(mailbox....is full)

 

 

Author's Note

I'm not really big on conventional stories of romance and romantic poetry. It may be a reflection of my own life, but rarely am I moved or entertained by overdone words of "climbing mountains" and "everlasting love and feelings" and shit. I like quirky tales and original expressions of telling someone that they are special to you. The subject "SEES" the woman. Everyone else in her life doesn't, but with getting to know her he really "sees" how wonderful this woman is and he falls in love. He just needs a little "liquid confidence" then decides to call her and tell her!

Reviews

[~angelalala~]

hey i've gotten a few voicemails like this, minus all the 'i love your mind' parts & mostly just the 'i wanna f**k you' parts. i loved this & despite the fact that it is an amusing write, hidden within is a beautiful love poem!
"You inequvocally have a true & cunning ability to blind me immensely with your radiant energy, a radiation displayed that made me run for shade because your shine's so divine, it could cast permanent "day"" this is beautiful! i love your explanation too about how everyone else in her life doesn't see who she is. everyone wants someone to love them like this. i think deep inside you hides a very romantic lovey-dovey soul ;) i like the humor mixed in with this what is overall, a truly beautiful love poem. great write.

[Patrick Roach]

Excellent piece, I adore your writing style.

[DC Gentleman]

You're an artist.. I heard the drunk honest ramblings loud and clear.. and though I've never made that call... I seen a few romantic comedies.. lol

[Yvette Shaw]

Wow. This is very passionate (revealing), I love the layout out. I could almost feel the passion, honesty, and pain as the words changed(in size and color). The honesty with which You express "I can see You" is raw and heartfelt. Very original. Beautifully expressed.

Thank You for sharing

Yvette

[Ignorance Was Bliss Eve..]

Very Intriguiging, I love how you have this worded..
The bigger the letters the louder it seemed to get,
The more intense the words were spoken.
Great great write.

[-CoryBeth-]

'DeadofNight' your review hurts my heart.. THIS IS BEAUTIFUL (and very original in how you chose to express the story, Bridgey! great!) to hear that parts were "hard to take", sounds to me like u dismiss compliments towards yourself?? and was further found with "Guys around here, they don't see you for anything more than something to do", well I say you are not surrounding yourself with guys of any quality.. but MOSTLY, it doesn't seem as if YOU are presenting yourself, (MORESO!, FEELING YOURSELF) that you are so much more than that.. PLEASE THINK ON THAT< AND REALIZE YOUR TRUTH-BEAUTY AND ORIGINALITY IN ALL THAT MAKES YOU, YOU!! .. Bridgey, you're awesome in ALL I've read you express!!

[Jared Hughes]

Haha, this poem was good! It was very honest which is what I liked about it. All of your work is great as it does not hide your feelings or words and you are not afraid to say the F-word! haha

Jared Hughes

[Brjden (Bridge-Den) Crewe]

I really appreciate your words Jared! Thank you brother!

[Voice]

I absolutely love it...its romantic and comical all at the same time. This is so original and totally awesome how do you think of this stuff. I died laughing at the beginning when I read the lines "I swear to drunk I'm not God" :D and the end leaves you wondering what happens next? Will he remember all this when he is sober, and what will the woman he is in love with say? such an awesome write!!!!!!!

Voice

[QuietPoet]

If this woman listens to the message and doesnt fall in love with this man she is CRAZY! lol. You expressed this very well and any woman wants to hear this every day on a voicemail. =) Very nice.

[Seriana]

OMG this is so stinking cute! I laughed the entire way through. You have such rhythym to your pieces, such vibrant energy. Absolutely wonderful Bridgey! Thanks for sharing. :)

[.]

lol ... that was so funny, i couldn't stop laughing at those lines:

"I MEAN OF COURSE I WANNA F**K YOU!
WHO WOULDN'T
WANNA F**K YOU?!?!
S**t, I do!
I wanna f**k!
BUT!!!......
as much as I wanna f**k
I WANNA KNOW
WHAT THE F**K
IS ON YOUR MIND
JUST AS MUCH!"

Overall it was a great write! I loved it! Greatly done!!