Gay Men Got It Made!!!

Women suck!! They are so bi-polar and frustrating!!! I swear to God if men were headless, had breasts, a VaJay, and a nice a*s, I would be gay!!!!

"You tell me when I am being an arrogant son of a b***h and I tell you when you are a pain in the a*s! Which you are, 99% of the time. I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings! You have like a 2 second rebound rate, then you're back doing the next pain-in-the-a*s thing!" 

                                Noah from the movie "The Notebook" 

 

Gay Men

     

Got It Made!!!!!

 

      by Bridgey "YouLookFabulous!!" Crewe

 

"Baby, what's on your

mind?"

 "Boy, where the hell

             you been?"

 

"Oh my God,

                         who is this b***h

 sitting on top

          of your chin!?!?"

 

 

Yeah, she at it again

and I need to be saved

And for this, I swear to God……

GAY MEN GOT IT MADE!!             

 

I just wanna watch the game without using my brain but that's when, you enter in & say the same damn thang that you said, early today & now I silently pray, that you finish in time before my team runs the next play!

 

Begin my, funeral arranging,

           contact my next of kin

I'm HOPING that's the case,

          Since I'm CHOKING on estrogen!

 

Lord, please take me today,

      or at least make me gay

 I'm just a suicide away

From us having this talk, face-to-face

 

 If men are from Mars

 Women are from

on Top of Mars'

Nerves!

With Kryptonite embedded

          in the throes of their curves

 

 Men are slaves to your RHYTHM

& the dirty attention you give’em!!

That’s why we "zombie" towards the corridors

Of monogamy with’em

But then, the women change

& the RHYTHM just ain’t the same

Now the dirty attention we got

Are distant memories in our brain!

First they, want you to leave,

then cry when you don't stay

They don't wanna give you sex

& get pissed when you masturbate!

 

**Sigh**....I need an aspirin the size of a plate

 To combat this.... exasperating headache of a mate!

 

gay men got it made!

Cause when men talk, they only say,

Who/ What/ When/ Where /and Why

Thing/ Person/ or Place

 

Men keep it short & really simple

        when we have something to say

Not a two-hour sermon when someone asks

  "How was your day?"

 

BUT I'M A SLAVE! 

I’m a SLAVE TO THEIR.....

       FEMININE WAYS!

Addicted to their charms

And "girly parts" that I crave

 

I just need a deaf, mute

robotic Beyonce'

With attention-deficit

who can cook like Rachel Ray!

Who really knows what she wants

before she goes to say...

        

"I want this."

But what she means, is

"I want this.....today."

  Because tomorrow she’ll want "that"

and so now you gotta change,

until she wants back the "this"

SHE HAD THE DAY

BEFORE YESTERDAY!!

 

I swear to Christ,

    I can't stand you!

You beautiful, sexy, bi-polar mind, fine, but so blind cause you can't drive, shopping all the damn time, feminine, sensual, gorgeous individual, with your dimples, that I'm in to, Goddess of my body's temple, you temper-tantrum professional, wallpaper changing, furniture rearranging, constantly complaining, forcing me to watch your stupid "Lifetime" movie specials, you special ed. needing, breathing "thorn in my lower regions",

I love you til I die, and I guess that's the reason......

 

I can't be gay......

With women,

you take the good with the bad

But I guess I'll just metaphorically

"Take it up the a*s!"

 

Author's Note

Yeah I said it!!!!! So?!?!?! Women suck!!! I said it! Gay men got it made!!! Yes! Women drive me completely crazy and if I were gay, I wouldn't have to deal with em!
But in all seriousness, I know there's no more drama with gay couples, but I just used the title to express my own frustration right now with a certain someone(SHE KNOWS WHO SHE IS!!). I did this out of fun and I hope you digs.....


**1/30/09** Okay, this needs to be said apparently from some of the notes I'm getting. I have gay relatives and my best male friend is gay. No one argues that a homosexual lifestyle is a difficult one, even today. And I am as accepting a person of EVERYONE that you will find! This poem isn't to mock, but it's simply saying that dealing and being involved with other men is easier than dealing with women! It's done in fun and in parody. I never once even dipped into describing what it's like to be in a gay relationship rather than to poke fun at my own frustrations with women.

Reviews

[THE LOST ROSE]

Okay bro! You know you got a great poem when two people on this site stop in the middle of reading your poem (at two different locations) to text one another about how good it is. Man my stomach hurt! I needed that laugh in the worst way. I am marking this one down because I got a few friends who fit this perfectly and when I read them this poem I hope they get a message. Standing "O" after my stomach stop hurting and I wipe away the tears of laughter.

[Lyrical Love]

I laughed and then I got a little miffed and then shook my head. I almost went to dig up that word that we buried in Detroit, but I didn't.
This was SO awesome!!! I could see myself and the challenges that I bring... LOLOL!!
and how we are so intricate that it leaves most you clueless!!!
...and all I can do is laugh!!!! This is soo true-every part of it! lolol! Even waving RUMP roast in your face to get your attention (for a minute). LOLOL!!!!

[Bella]

Haha! I'll even admit that women are crazy, drama-magnets. This was such a great, funny write!! I really enjoyed reading this. I can honestly admit that I laughed out loud during some parts.

[Seriana]

Hi, my name is Seri and I laughed hysterically at this!!! I totally see the angle you are coming from, and have to admit we women are a bit crazy from time to time. So I raise my hand firmly!!! But, you should know i could easily write something of the like coming from the camp of women towards ya'll. ;) I liked that you made this a very playful write. Serious message, fun way to present it. Nice job!

[ANNA]

LMFAF!! Your brilliant and honest. If I was I guy, I think I would have has the same thing..lol! I started to read the first line. Thought to myself. Oh ya this is going to be great! I love reading these kind of poems about woman. The truth of of it all comes out! and the woman can take that your having a lil and a lil frustrated to. You took the word out of my mouth. I could never get mad over this. haha
Awesome write. I want to say so much more on this you don't even know but I don't want to give the ladies secret away! lol

Much love n respect,
Anna

[Robert Francis Callaci]

This was a blast- I rarely laugh out loud when reading but in this case I was floored- You are one talented son of a b***h- Thanks for the fun fun read.....


my warmest
bob

[.::Cup^E^Cake*RaWr!*::.]

haha this is awesome!! Woman are crazy but in the end you'll end up with the one that fits your personality best...Remember never live with the one that you can live with...live with the one you can't live without! Don't stay mad at woman too long because the right one may get pissed & decide she's goin to forget about you!! Keep your head up!!!

[Rain]

I loved this! At first I thought it may be over the line, but I quickly seen what you were writing. I'm not sure what to say, except you better get ready to love musicals/Bette Midler/change your style, because "women are NOT going to change." :) Funny piece, because every man knows exactly how you feel. Rain..

[Fear Corrupts!]

Okay, Okay,
I must admit, the beginning made me a little bit angry, because I am a girl, myself :p
However, you did seem to redeem yourself in the last few closing lines.
Yes I do agree with you for the most part,
sometimes I actually just HATE females - some of 'their' annoying, nagging, habits, geeez.
But heey come on, men aren't all what they're cracked up to be either, sometimes.
The thing is,
both men & women have one common "flaw(?)" that creates such irritance between us,
both men & women can be very self righteous, which is where the trouble all begins.
All right,
so now I'm rambling off topic.
Time to move along.

Funny Write,

[ Fear Corrupts! ]

[Christina Braceros]

Lol this was intersting, but however I had a gay uncle and the lifestyle of a homosexual is very difficult to live with. but i enjoyed this piece it reflects your frustation. But may i say that you men aren't that easy either. your just as difficult if not worse.