Gay Men Got It Made!!!

Women suck!! They are so bi-polar and frustrating!!! I swear to God if men were headless, had breasts, a VaJay, and a nice a*s, I would be gay!!!!

"You tell me when I am being an arrogant son of a b***h and I tell you when you are a pain in the a*s! Which you are, 99% of the time. I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings! You have like a 2 second rebound rate, then you're back doing the next pain-in-the-a*s thing!" 

                                Noah from the movie "The Notebook" 

 

Gay Men

     

Got It Made!!!!!

 

      by Bridgey "YouLookFabulous!!" Crewe

 

"Baby, what's on your

mind?"

 "Boy, where the hell

             you been?"

 

"Oh my God,

                         who is this b***h

 sitting on top

          of your chin!?!?"

 

 

Yeah, she at it again

and I need to be saved

And for this, I swear to God……

GAY MEN GOT IT MADE!!             

 

I just wanna watch the game without using my brain but that's when, you enter in & say the same damn thang that you said, early today & now I silently pray, that you finish in time before my team runs the next play!

 

Begin my, funeral arranging,

           contact my next of kin

I'm HOPING that's the case,

          Since I'm CHOKING on estrogen!

 

Lord, please take me today,

      or at least make me gay

 I'm just a suicide away

From us having this talk, face-to-face

 

 If men are from Mars

 Women are from

on Top of Mars'

Nerves!

With Kryptonite embedded

          in the throes of their curves

 

 Men are slaves to your RHYTHM

& the dirty attention you give’em!!

That’s why we "zombie" towards the corridors

Of monogamy with’em

But then, the women change

& the RHYTHM just ain’t the same

Now the dirty attention we got

Are distant memories in our brain!

First they, want you to leave,

then cry when you don't stay

They don't wanna give you sex

& get pissed when you masturbate!

 

**Sigh**....I need an aspirin the size of a plate

 To combat this.... exasperating headache of a mate!

 

gay men got it made!

Cause when men talk, they only say,

Who/ What/ When/ Where /and Why

Thing/ Person/ or Place

 

Men keep it short & really simple

        when we have something to say

Not a two-hour sermon when someone asks

  "How was your day?"

 

BUT I'M A SLAVE! 

I’m a SLAVE TO THEIR.....

       FEMININE WAYS!

Addicted to their charms

And "girly parts" that I crave

 

I just need a deaf, mute

robotic Beyonce'

With attention-deficit

who can cook like Rachel Ray!

Who really knows what she wants

before she goes to say...

        

"I want this."

But what she means, is

"I want this.....today."

  Because tomorrow she’ll want "that"

and so now you gotta change,

until she wants back the "this"

SHE HAD THE DAY

BEFORE YESTERDAY!!

 

I swear to Christ,

    I can't stand you!

You beautiful, sexy, bi-polar mind, fine, but so blind cause you can't drive, shopping all the damn time, feminine, sensual, gorgeous individual, with your dimples, that I'm in to, Goddess of my body's temple, you temper-tantrum professional, wallpaper changing, furniture rearranging, constantly complaining, forcing me to watch your stupid "Lifetime" movie specials, you special ed. needing, breathing "thorn in my lower regions",

I love you til I die, and I guess that's the reason......

 

I can't be gay......

With women,

you take the good with the bad

But I guess I'll just metaphorically

"Take it up the a*s!"

 

Author's Note

Yeah I said it!!!!! So?!?!?! Women suck!!! I said it! Gay men got it made!!! Yes! Women drive me completely crazy and if I were gay, I wouldn't have to deal with em!
But in all seriousness, I know there's no more drama with gay couples, but I just used the title to express my own frustration right now with a certain someone(SHE KNOWS WHO SHE IS!!). I did this out of fun and I hope you digs.....


**1/30/09** Okay, this needs to be said apparently from some of the notes I'm getting. I have gay relatives and my best male friend is gay. No one argues that a homosexual lifestyle is a difficult one, even today. And I am as accepting a person of EVERYONE that you will find! This poem isn't to mock, but it's simply saying that dealing and being involved with other men is easier than dealing with women! It's done in fun and in parody. I never once even dipped into describing what it's like to be in a gay relationship rather than to poke fun at my own frustrations with women.

Reviews

[THE LOST ROSE]

Okay bro! You know you got a great poem when two people on this site stop in the middle of reading your poem (at two different locations) to text one another about how good it is. Man my stomach hurt! I needed that laugh in the worst way. I am marking this one down because I got a few friends who fit this perfectly and when I read them this poem I hope they get a message. Standing "O" after my stomach stop hurting and I wipe away the tears of laughter.

[Spoken]

LOL! I hear ya. I understand the whole "I just want to watch my game without using my brain" it's about a mental break, We all need something that takes us out of reality for a while to recoop. It's good to release your frustration in a creative funny way and all the ladies need to be able to laugh at our crazy ways! Funny stuff!

[Liliana]

I didn't find it humorous at all, actually I felt that it had a quite disturbing undertone. It is like you are speaking TRUTH through "jest". I'm not so fond of this one, there were a couple excerpts I really liked though.

And I am going to have to disagree with Kena SunGoddess Dawn, maybe she is like that... but I am not. and I doI have a sense of humor, a quite goofy one at that. But this poem just rubbed me wrong, it may be because (even though *you* said it in jest) my father used to say it with all seriousness. I'm not dissing you man, not at all... it's just not my favorite.

[just is]

This is wonderful, found it funny too, wonderfully put.

[Taylor Maye]

did you shorten thing? its still really good and funny

[Divine Pain]

I love this one, I was trying to keep quiet here so my husband wouldn't be disturbed in his sleep but couldn't hold in the laughter and the "THAT IS SUPER TRUE" as a thought I literally said it out loud.

[Shellie]

I love this you cant not laugh at this, its so f****n true!!!! i must look up an e mail i have an i post it in a message to you, its similar...yours is better but i think ull like it. u shud start sendin this round in e mail people would love it!!!!!!!in regards to ur note, if it apparntly came across you were anti gay....im gay and i def did not get that impression...it was dirctd at women and most certainly not in a vindictive way, it was really good!!!!!!!!

[Winter McPherson]

LOL!! What a scream! I didn't need any explanation......people are so hung-up aren't they? No sense of humor......

But I loved it! Yes, have wished the same myself so I wouldn't have to deal with you dang men! haha!
Loved the timing and rhyming and everything about it. The title just drew me in.

I'm gonna havta read this to my friend, she'll love it.
Well, I guess my "Object" piece was perfect for you then.....that's what you're looking for.......no wonder men buy those real sex dolls.......lol!

Great piece!

[Here's What I Say]

Now THIS one got my attention. I know gay men have it made...the B******S! ESPECIALLY THE HOT ONES! I thought this was a poem going off on all the little details of how gay men have it made, but it's a rant about a man who's trapped in his desire for a complicated, bipolar, hypocritical b***h. I may be a woman, but even I have to say sometimes I drive myself crazy.

I can hear the frustration in the words. You work the colors to help add to the emotion of this poor guy.

Bridge, if you were gay, then you'd have to deal with the gay men who are complicated, bipolar, hypocritical b*****s. No, they won't have periods, but they will have all the muscle advantage men have and then they'll club you to death with their stilettos. How do I know? First off, I live in LA--one of the gay capitals of the state of California, and--inevitably--I am a woman, and I know all.

And this just made me want to write a poem.

[Kena Dawn Augustine]

APPLAUSE! i hate to say this, but you are right about women. we are like that. LOL. and we can be difficult at times, and i like your last line "i metaphorically, take it up the a*s." wow, you got a way with chanelling anger, humor, and good writing into your poetry. amazing. and yes, maybe gay men would be easier. i should write another poem about the woman's side of things. oh well, you did your side good. thanks.

[Rufio The Jedi]

i feel like when you wrote this, you were defiantly thinking about it as a performance piece. so i feel like i'm not getting the full experience by reading it on paper. but i will say that it defiantly is creative and the concept is pretty original. i don't think i've read anything with the same subject actually. and it reads as if i could really hear someone speaking this. i will say that i wasn't feeling the "girly parts" phrase. and the in and out of rhyme threw me off sometimes. like this stanza

"& the RHYTHM is not the same
The dirty attention we got
Are distant memories in our brain!
First they, want you to leave,
Then cry when you don't stay
They don't wanna give you none
& get mad when you masturbate!"

i just did't understand how masterbate fit in that, and there were a couple others that kinda stood out like that. but other than that, it was a good poem fam.