Gay Men Got It Made!!!

Women suck!! They are so bi-polar and frustrating!!! I swear to God if men were headless, had breasts, a VaJay, and a nice a*s, I would be gay!!!!

"You tell me when I am being an arrogant son of a b***h and I tell you when you are a pain in the a*s! Which you are, 99% of the time. I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings! You have like a 2 second rebound rate, then you're back doing the next pain-in-the-a*s thing!" 

                                Noah from the movie "The Notebook" 

 

Gay Men

     

Got It Made!!!!!

 

      by Bridgey "YouLookFabulous!!" Crewe

 

"Baby, what's on your

mind?"

 "Boy, where the hell

             you been?"

 

"Oh my God,

                         who is this b***h

 sitting on top

          of your chin!?!?"

 

 

Yeah, she at it again

and I need to be saved

And for this, I swear to God……

GAY MEN GOT IT MADE!!             

 

I just wanna watch the game without using my brain but that's when, you enter in & say the same damn thang that you said, early today & now I silently pray, that you finish in time before my team runs the next play!

 

Begin my, funeral arranging,

           contact my next of kin

I'm HOPING that's the case,

          Since I'm CHOKING on estrogen!

 

Lord, please take me today,

      or at least make me gay

 I'm just a suicide away

From us having this talk, face-to-face

 

 If men are from Mars

 Women are from

on Top of Mars'

Nerves!

With Kryptonite embedded

          in the throes of their curves

 

 Men are slaves to your RHYTHM

& the dirty attention you give’em!!

That’s why we "zombie" towards the corridors

Of monogamy with’em

But then, the women change

& the RHYTHM just ain’t the same

Now the dirty attention we got

Are distant memories in our brain!

First they, want you to leave,

then cry when you don't stay

They don't wanna give you sex

& get pissed when you masturbate!

 

**Sigh**....I need an aspirin the size of a plate

 To combat this.... exasperating headache of a mate!

 

gay men got it made!

Cause when men talk, they only say,

Who/ What/ When/ Where /and Why

Thing/ Person/ or Place

 

Men keep it short & really simple

        when we have something to say

Not a two-hour sermon when someone asks

  "How was your day?"

 

BUT I'M A SLAVE! 

I’m a SLAVE TO THEIR.....

       FEMININE WAYS!

Addicted to their charms

And "girly parts" that I crave

 

I just need a deaf, mute

robotic Beyonce'

With attention-deficit

who can cook like Rachel Ray!

Who really knows what she wants

before she goes to say...

        

"I want this."

But what she means, is

"I want this.....today."

  Because tomorrow she’ll want "that"

and so now you gotta change,

until she wants back the "this"

SHE HAD THE DAY

BEFORE YESTERDAY!!

 

I swear to Christ,

    I can't stand you!

You beautiful, sexy, bi-polar mind, fine, but so blind cause you can't drive, shopping all the damn time, feminine, sensual, gorgeous individual, with your dimples, that I'm in to, Goddess of my body's temple, you temper-tantrum professional, wallpaper changing, furniture rearranging, constantly complaining, forcing me to watch your stupid "Lifetime" movie specials, you special ed. needing, breathing "thorn in my lower regions",

I love you til I die, and I guess that's the reason......

 

I can't be gay......

With women,

you take the good with the bad

But I guess I'll just metaphorically

"Take it up the a*s!"

 

Author's Note

Yeah I said it!!!!! So?!?!?! Women suck!!! I said it! Gay men got it made!!! Yes! Women drive me completely crazy and if I were gay, I wouldn't have to deal with em!
But in all seriousness, I know there's no more drama with gay couples, but I just used the title to express my own frustration right now with a certain someone(SHE KNOWS WHO SHE IS!!). I did this out of fun and I hope you digs.....


**1/30/09** Okay, this needs to be said apparently from some of the notes I'm getting. I have gay relatives and my best male friend is gay. No one argues that a homosexual lifestyle is a difficult one, even today. And I am as accepting a person of EVERYONE that you will find! This poem isn't to mock, but it's simply saying that dealing and being involved with other men is easier than dealing with women! It's done in fun and in parody. I never once even dipped into describing what it's like to be in a gay relationship rather than to poke fun at my own frustrations with women.

Reviews

[THE LOST ROSE]

Okay bro! You know you got a great poem when two people on this site stop in the middle of reading your poem (at two different locations) to text one another about how good it is. Man my stomach hurt! I needed that laugh in the worst way. I am marking this one down because I got a few friends who fit this perfectly and when I read them this poem I hope they get a message. Standing "O" after my stomach stop hurting and I wipe away the tears of laughter.

[Jason]

Yo This is hot! I'm a silly person at heart and this just had me dying.


"If men are from Mars

Women are from on Top of Mars' Nerves!

With Kryptonite embedded in the "throws" of their curves!"

That is classic!

Thanks for this one I need that.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

this was darn funny... ahhh yes women are so complex but I have to say it makes it all the more exciting sometimes... guess my brother has it easy but I think I enjoy the challenge... none the less a very hysterical look at relationships.

[Ravenskald]

Hilarious
and yes I can relate
LOL a great read
BUT I'M A SLAVE!
SLAVE TO THEIR.....FEMININE WAYS!
Addicted to their charms
And "girly parts", that I crave

and ....

"I want this."
But what she's saying is,
"I want this.....today."

Life really is a fine biatch huh !
R

[Legion]

Here! Here! You go Brother! Mo' powa 2 u! Couldn't say it better myself. lol I especially love that part about them being from on top of Mars' nerves. That had me rolling. Brilliant. Simply brilliant. Still, not going gay though. ha!

[Fidheallir]

You are once again very funny-- I feel like you're speaking for the great mystified mass of men in general in this poem,and not just about your experience personally, which is what makes this poem humorous.

[SM Davis]

laughing my f*****g a*s off! You have got to come by and read WOMEN...you'll laugh your a*s off too...TOO FUNNY! My best friend is gay and I'm here to tell you ... you hit the nail right on the head!

[J.Black]

Shut up, I know you love woman deep down there despite all the s**t we put you through! LOL

"I just need a deaf, mute, robotic Beyonce'
With attention deficit, and can cook like Rachel Ray" -- All guys would kill for a body like beyonce, one who won't nag at your a*s, but when you come home supper is ready!

But even though all this was said and it made woman look like all we are good for is being 'used', I loved it. The rage and emotion put forth shows that this is something that drives you just crazy! Hell, they don't call us woman for nothing. Good write!

[Jolyrose]

I was reading your 'b***h, b***h, b***h' at the beginning, then I loved how you wrapped it up with 'but I need your a*s anyway'. God, yes! Women can be crazy, but I've only ever seen it from the other side. Cuz I'm sure as sh*t not like that... :() But at least I see... Even if she drives your a*s crazy, all she has to do to fix is make the hip jiggle, get down in the kitchen and lose her mind in the bedroom. Doesn't sound like a bad trade ;) Did I say some sh*t about swagger about Rose? I'm just glad that you admit you need us... lol.

Joly

[Amant Cache]

I actually thought it was pretty funny. I'd switch places with a guy anyday just so he could live in my shoes, and I in his. Wanna switch??? Just for a day?

But yeah, I feel where you're comin from...that's why most of my peeps are guys...I will say this however, comin from a girl who's been on both sides of the fence- there's no more, no less drama with either sex. Anytime 'sex' is involved, best be believin drama's round the corner...

Loved it. Thank you for sharing!