Gay Men Got It Made!!!

Women suck!! They are so bi-polar and frustrating!!! I swear to God if men were headless, had breasts, a VaJay, and a nice a*s, I would be gay!!!!

"You tell me when I am being an arrogant son of a b***h and I tell you when you are a pain in the a*s! Which you are, 99% of the time. I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings! You have like a 2 second rebound rate, then you're back doing the next pain-in-the-a*s thing!" 

                                Noah from the movie "The Notebook" 

 

Gay Men

     

Got It Made!!!!!

 

      by Bridgey "YouLookFabulous!!" Crewe

 

"Baby, what's on your

mind?"

 "Boy, where the hell

             you been?"

 

"Oh my God,

                         who is this b***h

 sitting on top

          of your chin!?!?"

 

 

Yeah, she at it again

and I need to be saved

And for this, I swear to God……

GAY MEN GOT IT MADE!!             

 

I just wanna watch the game without using my brain but that's when, you enter in & say the same damn thang that you said, early today & now I silently pray, that you finish in time before my team runs the next play!

 

Begin my, funeral arranging,

           contact my next of kin

I'm HOPING that's the case,

          Since I'm CHOKING on estrogen!

 

Lord, please take me today,

      or at least make me gay

 I'm just a suicide away

From us having this talk, face-to-face

 

 If men are from Mars

 Women are from

on Top of Mars'

Nerves!

With Kryptonite embedded

          in the throes of their curves

 

 Men are slaves to your RHYTHM

& the dirty attention you give’em!!

That’s why we "zombie" towards the corridors

Of monogamy with’em

But then, the women change

& the RHYTHM just ain’t the same

Now the dirty attention we got

Are distant memories in our brain!

First they, want you to leave,

then cry when you don't stay

They don't wanna give you sex

& get pissed when you masturbate!

 

**Sigh**....I need an aspirin the size of a plate

 To combat this.... exasperating headache of a mate!

 

gay men got it made!

Cause when men talk, they only say,

Who/ What/ When/ Where /and Why

Thing/ Person/ or Place

 

Men keep it short & really simple

        when we have something to say

Not a two-hour sermon when someone asks

  "How was your day?"

 

BUT I'M A SLAVE! 

I’m a SLAVE TO THEIR.....

       FEMININE WAYS!

Addicted to their charms

And "girly parts" that I crave

 

I just need a deaf, mute

robotic Beyonce'

With attention-deficit

who can cook like Rachel Ray!

Who really knows what she wants

before she goes to say...

        

"I want this."

But what she means, is

"I want this.....today."

  Because tomorrow she’ll want "that"

and so now you gotta change,

until she wants back the "this"

SHE HAD THE DAY

BEFORE YESTERDAY!!

 

I swear to Christ,

    I can't stand you!

You beautiful, sexy, bi-polar mind, fine, but so blind cause you can't drive, shopping all the damn time, feminine, sensual, gorgeous individual, with your dimples, that I'm in to, Goddess of my body's temple, you temper-tantrum professional, wallpaper changing, furniture rearranging, constantly complaining, forcing me to watch your stupid "Lifetime" movie specials, you special ed. needing, breathing "thorn in my lower regions",

I love you til I die, and I guess that's the reason......

 

I can't be gay......

With women,

you take the good with the bad

But I guess I'll just metaphorically

"Take it up the a*s!"

 

Author's Note

Yeah I said it!!!!! So?!?!?! Women suck!!! I said it! Gay men got it made!!! Yes! Women drive me completely crazy and if I were gay, I wouldn't have to deal with em!
But in all seriousness, I know there's no more drama with gay couples, but I just used the title to express my own frustration right now with a certain someone(SHE KNOWS WHO SHE IS!!). I did this out of fun and I hope you digs.....


**1/30/09** Okay, this needs to be said apparently from some of the notes I'm getting. I have gay relatives and my best male friend is gay. No one argues that a homosexual lifestyle is a difficult one, even today. And I am as accepting a person of EVERYONE that you will find! This poem isn't to mock, but it's simply saying that dealing and being involved with other men is easier than dealing with women! It's done in fun and in parody. I never once even dipped into describing what it's like to be in a gay relationship rather than to poke fun at my own frustrations with women.

Reviews

[THE LOST ROSE]

Okay bro! You know you got a great poem when two people on this site stop in the middle of reading your poem (at two different locations) to text one another about how good it is. Man my stomach hurt! I needed that laugh in the worst way. I am marking this one down because I got a few friends who fit this perfectly and when I read them this poem I hope they get a message. Standing "O" after my stomach stop hurting and I wipe away the tears of laughter.

[Patrick Roach]

Excellent piece, I adore your writing style.

[the in between]

ahahahahhaha lesbians got it made :P
forgot to say this was fricken hilareous and well written
great job; i read it while i was half asleep and still i understood it ahahhaha

[EMP]

this is amazing, really unbelivably amazing! i mean, i'm a woman, but i agree :P this is fabulous, the rhyme was crisp and clear and the humour was good, it was amazing, really really well done.

[Angel's Lady]

I loved the tongue-in-cheekness of your poem! And it's always been greener on the other side of the septic tank, baby! It's what keeps us going from day to day! I want what you got and you want what I got and I got what you want...it's a vicious circle but it's what keeps us going! Great write!
(PS: I'm gay and I agree with you! Women are a pain in the a*s! I just want to watch the game, too, UNLESS she wants to watch the game and then I want to do anything but watch the game. It's a vicious circle, baby!)

[Caramel Gold]

LoL that was soooo good!

Men are slaves to your RHYTHM

& the dirty attention you give'em!!

That's why we "zombie" towards the corridors

Of monogamy with'em

But then, the women change

& the RHYTHM just ain't the same

Now the dirty attention we got

Are distant memories in our brain!

First they, want you to leave,

then cry when you don't stay

They don't wanna give you none

& get mad when you masturbate!


....this part is the best (in my opinion) and so true... f****n females LoL... love it!!!

[Jared Hughes]

Haha, this is a good one! I couldn't stop laughing. A well thought poem.

Jared Hughes

[Voice]

Lol I love it even if I'm one of those pains in the a*s :) in all fairness men do similar things to us and you all drive us just insane but we couldn't live without you just the same. This is such a great write!!!!!

Voice

[TheGenius]

Awesome poem; but gay men do deal with their own pecularities and idiosyncrasies; there is no complete happiness.

[ms.trelly]

This is awesome! I do tend to chnge my mind quite often! This poem is perfect and funny!

[DavidRyan]

This was amazing, brother. If for nothing else than for the simple fact that you walked the tight rope of how "women will react to this" and did it with the right amount of humor, compliments, and frustrations. No one can get offended by this and, if anyone does, I hope they write a piece about men in the same fashion and make it interesting. This was great....couldn't say enough about it. There was a couple of spelling errors at the beginning, but I have a feeling they were on purpose.