The Divorcee Chronicles pt. 1 ("I'm Damaged Goods!....")

He's divorced and in pain, but he has a chance to love again with a new woman who's trying to love him, but will he let her?

"And I am blind......

   I cannot find the heart I gave to you"

                                                   Ingrid Michaelson, "Glass"

 

the divorcee chronicles part 1

           "I'm damaged goods"

 

 

I have the right to, tell you what I feel inside

And it's real but pride is what I kill when I

Wear my heart on my sleeve

So gently hold my wrist when we walk down the street

We'll be.....together

Forever's the goal and if the weather is cold and I'm alone

Will you.... heat me, then teach me how to get back home?

 

When she left,

       I just lied and reluctantly never cried

But it's like she never tried, just a "bad", not "good" bye

She gave me back my name and a pain I can't describe

I remember feeling naked, & remembered I couldn't hide

I remember.....

(6 years before the divorce thinking......)

 

"This feeling inside for you..... my love, I can not hide!

You make me feel totally naked & I can never say goodbye!"

I wrote you poetry pieces, titles like "Afraid of Words"

With lines like.....

"....My feelings can't be described with any words I ever heard"

You made me feel very corny, you're confusing my whole world!

Like I'm "Sam" & you're "Jake Ryan",  I feel like a school girl!

But I Loved You with a Passion!!

I love you with a passion derived through hell fires of condemnation, of nations where slaves awaken through God's revelation & their own realization that they were made as free men!!! A passion like their revolting swords & the core of their rage pierced with every inch of their blade through the suppressive rib cages, not of their captures but as the masters of their trade labor exchanged for the mere nature to be men!! FREE MEN!

(I'm getting off course, but you get it. I loved her with great passion!)

 

And so I'm confidently asking, for your "being" to be my captain

And to take this ring & this name & for us to be everlasting!

But.......    

(2 years later after the divorce, thinking......)

It never lasted, "Love" raped me in the a*s and

Skipped the "KY" jelly, and just fucked me like a mad man!

Don't know what ever happened

But I'm sure she's somewhere laughing

And I sit here all alone with my "Barely Diminished Passion"....FOUR her......

FOUR love?

Please! It's up FOUR rent

FOUR some sucker to use on another

I'd rather FOUR get...........her

FOUR get Love & go and FOURge Pain!

Now I write her poetry like "Pain is Love's Nickname"

With lines like "No Love, make Bridgey go INSANE!!"

but..... 

(today)

Like a destined miracle.....then you came

And through your belief in us, I eventually changed

So that's why, you have the right to, what I have inside

Girl, it's real, and pride is what I kill when I

Try...To love you.........

But when I try, it just burns

How Can I Give You a Heart

              that My Wife Never Returned?

I mean......my ex wife

DON'T LEAVE! I just might

Need you to teach me all the things that, I've "unlearned"

You deserve to be loved right!!

Please, don't leave me tonight!!!!

Cause I'm dying inside

And if you don't help me, I might

Never find another like you!!

And with tears in my eye sight,

I stand before you and ask...

 "Will you please......save my life?"

 

to be continued

Author's Note

TO CLEAR UP ANY CONFUSION, HE'S TALKING TO HIS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND FIRST, THEN (3 years before the divorce), HE'S REMEMBERING TALKING TO HIS "SOON TO BE FIANCE", then(2 years later after the divorce), he's exploring his feelings after his wife left him, then he goes back to talking to his current girlfriend. This one is from an actual event. I went through this and even though it's meant to entertain and I've adapted small parts, I used most of my real life in this one. I had a chance to love again after my divorce, but held back because of fear and pain. I needed her to save me from living a lonely life. I really asked her to "save my life." I try to make light of these chronicles without coming off as manic depressive, but I learned more about myself through her leaving me and they helped me write. WAIT UNTIL WHAT HAPPENS IN PART 2!!!!!

Reviews

[Nik'aule]

LOL@ not trying to come off as manic depressive...

Artists... we're all fucked up, that's what makes it really great art...

But this was beautiful and rhythmic like those african drums they beat begging to be FREE MEN!!! LOL... really I loved that part... the whole package was like a story being told over congos or a hip-hop beat... either way, I can imagine you doing it on stage with the animated hand movements and voice inflection and the crowd going wild because when it comes to love and loss...

we all can relate...

even when love f***s us in the collective asses with no KY Jelly... lol....

lessons learned... at least we get great poetry out of the deal to boot... awesome writing...

[MaRmAlAdE]

I might have to quote parts of this poem....! I WILL GIVE YOU WHERE CREDIT IS DUE! fabulous write.

[Shards]

your work is astounding
never read anything quite like this
your style is fresh and flows like good music
read through all your posts
and I sincerely think you are extremely talented
you have a gift!

[THE LOST ROSE]

My brother you dropped another hit in cyberspace. Its amazing that you can turn pain into art and entertain as well as expose the world to your soul. I feel your flow and now it is getting deeper to your core. Allow us to keep traveling I know another great poem is on the horizon. Truly enjoyed.