1Day, But Not 2Day

This is about a man conflicted & confused with what to do about his current 2 year relationship. Sometimes we become complacent with our "significant", and we fear forever, worried about missing something(or someone) that may never come...

"She's crying her heart to me, how could you let this be?

I just need time to see, where I wanna be......."

                                      Donell Jones, "Where I Wanna Be" 

 

1DAY, BUT NOT 2DAY

by Left Field "Bi-polarAsHeGetsOlder" McLovin 

 

I love my girlfriend,

 

and I know like the back of my hand....
That I plan to stand at an alter with her

exchanging wedding bans
one day........

but not two day!
I'm sitting at a coffee shop alone now, reading a book, zoned out
Reflecting about sexing her and how she moans out, but I'm shook......

I'm shook thinking,

"Damn....I really love this girl!"
"What wouldn't I do for her?"

I work, I go to college, wash the car, take out the garbage, I'm a go-getter, fulfill dreams, I would rob, steal, and kill things, I wreck n****s who're wreckless, if they don't get the message, that "She's mine homie! Now get ghost!" I let her in, let her get close, I love her, she loves me, I love hard, I love free, make our love work, I work to be, the best man I can so she'll make love to me, I'll drill bolts on a steamboat and toke unclean mill smoke in the hopes.....

In the hopes that I can give her everything!
I'll give her the whole world right now!......
But I can't give her a wedding ring?

But I plan to 1day.....but not 2day
and probably not 2morrow!!!!

but anyway....

My girl.....

She's the best thing that happened to a bum like me!!!
She's the apple of my eye, whatever that ever means, The Bonnie to my Clyde, the wet part of my dreams, The reason I "Get By" like Talib Kweli, me and her, we ride or die side by side, but geez!.....

My side can hurt sometimes....

And sometimes I think

she's not even worth my rhymes
But she is….I think she is,

but what I really think it is, 
Is that MAYBE I'm not even worth her time
MAYBE I'm using that as an excuse and I'm lying
MAYBE we're dying

MAYBE I'm trying to find

a reason for not trying
MAYBE, I'm blatantly denying

my obvious fear of flying
MAYBE, but MAYBE NOT

What the f**k is wrong with me?
I can't see.....

That I'm a lucky son of a b***h for her 
To love someone like me?
For 2 plus years, she been right there for me
And when I think about what I put her through,
It's so plain to see
She means everything to me,

and she's everything I need!!
So as I sit here at this coffee shop,

you know what I think?
I think today I'll cop a ring,

and get down on one knee
Look at the woman I love

and ask her......
"Will....You....Marry....M..."
And at that very moment, 
I hear a voice say "Excuse me......"
I "matter of factly" look up,

and you know what I see?
A sexy, little brown thing

staring directly back at me

She says "I see you're not using it,

so can I borrow that?"
I say "Yeah, take the sugar tray,

you don't have to bring it back."
Baby girl was small and petite,

but her a*s was fat!
Her hair was jet black in a curly blowout.....

I like that
With her thin, black framed,

reading glasses to match
Her skin was "Nia Long" toned,

with soft, full lips like pillows
And big holes in her cheeks

that beautifully passed as dimples
She was real cute…..

W/ her fitted, beige cargo pants

and open-toed shoes
Perfect "C" cups

w/ a brown t-shirt

that read "F**k Fox News!"
"GODDDDDAAAMMMNN!!"
I didn't say that out loud!

It's just what I was thinking
I asked her to sit down,

and she brought over the tea she was drinking

We talk....We love the same music,

and hate the same actors
Share the same laughter

and laugh at the same rappers
She hates Pretty Ricky.....
I HATE PRETTY RICKY!!!!!
She called them "Midget, little, no talent, funny looking jag-offs"
I THINK THEY’RE MIDGET, LITTLE, NO TALENT, FUNNY LOOKING JAG-OFFS TOO!!!
She thinks Family Guy is the "gold standard" of comedy
I THINK FAMILY GUY IS THE "GOLD STANDARD" OF COMEDY TOO!!!!

She says "The moral fiber of our society is equated with our regulations of what is allowed through popular culture, which won’t be solved until our parents start parenting, our communities reactivate themselves positively reaffirming the old notion that ‘it takes a village to raise a child’, and the program directors for major television & radio networks begin feeding us not ONLY what’s entertaining for us, but what’s also spiritually & intellectually good for us as well."

I THINK THE MORAL FIBER OF OUR SOCIETY IS EQUATED WITH OUR REGULATIONS OF WHAT’S ALLOWED THROUGH POPULAR CULTURE, WHICH WON’T BE SOLVED UNTIL OUR PARENTS START PARENTING, OUR COMMUNITIES REACTIVATE THEMSELVES POSITIVELY REAFFIRMING THE OLD NOTION THAT ‘IT TAKES A VILLAGE TO RAISE A CHILD’, AND THE PROGRAM DIRECTORS FOR MAJOR TELEVISION & RADIO NETOWORKS BEGIN FEEDING US NOT ONLY WHAT’S ENTERTAINING FOR US, BUT WHAT’S ALSO SPIRITUALLY AND INTELLECTUALLY GOOD FOR US AS WELL TOO!!!!!!

Heaven must be close B,

it's like this woman knows me!
This feeling is how it's suppose to be
Then my brain says 

"Wait a minute homie!"
You're suppose to be in love,

and there's nothing else to say
I thought I was gonna marry my girl 

One day, but not Two day
(and probably not 2morrow) but anyway
Should I let baby girl here get away? 
Or should I try and make her stay?
Or should I stay with my current girl

until I'm old and gray?
I feel sick B!!
I think baby girl here will get with me
But will she stick with me?
And that's when it hits me.......

SHE'S JUST A FANTASY
Her grass just looks greener.....from A FAR
It's no mirage,

it's just that another person's house

just looks cleaner......from A FAR

And as far as I know, baby girl here is a hoe, & she's selling it for dough, or she's a chick with a dick, or has two conjoined toes or sniffs blow up her nose, or she grows and sells the s**t, or she throws massive fits & pick fights just for kicks, or she’ll stalk & blow a n***a up if he packs & tries to go, or she can burn a n***a's dick, or she can cut off the s**t, or she can spend all my money, or her food can taste funny, or she can leave me all alone with no home & clothes bummy, or she can play a bunch of games, or she can try and cast a "hex", or when we're in the middle of having sex, she can call out the wrong name!.....So as far as I know, she can go be a hoe, weird toes, sniff blow, throw fits, burn the food and a dick, stalk n****s, voodoo child, forget my name, spend HIS dough & all of those miscellaneous things cause in the end.....I DON'T KNOW!!!!

And that's the thing......

I don't know, but see,
I do know what's waiting

at home for me!

Good Ol' Faithful Love!
She puts up with my s**t, 
Cooks me good food, takes care of me when I'm sick
She helps me with my tie, holds me down when I cry
And in bed, she knows all those little, dirty things I like

She's always there for me, 

      Even when maybe

she shouldn't be

She's unappreciated.....I'm sincerely sorry
This is my uninitiated, unapologetic apology
A scoreboard to record my "

Bridgey Fucked Up" anthology
How old is too old for the fantasy?
How unfair is too unfair for her?
How long can I wait for something

I already have?

And how can I make my dick concur?

 

I NEED HER, AND I NEED TO BE "ME" WITH HER
AND I NEED TO BE FREE TO SEE WEDDING RINGS
WITH......HER

And who knows?

Maybe 1Day, will be 2Day
Well....Maybe not 2day
But not too many 2morrows

 

 

Author's Note

So one of my favorite movies is "High Fidelity". In one of the final scenes the main character asks his girlfriend to marry him. She never wanted to get married, but he asks because he says that he's tired of the fantasy. I wouldn't give the scene justice, but what he was basically saying was that he's tired of waiting for something(or someone) that may never come. I wrote this trying to express not waiting for a fantasy that may be a mirage or may never come. What if you have what you already want? I know it's human nature to upgrade. You begged mama for a Playstation 2 and promise never to ask for anything ever again!.....Until......the Playstation 3! But this really is an ode to appreciation and realizing the beauty and what's precious already in your life.

Reviews

[Lyrical Love]

This is so...
AMAZING! I LOVED EVERY BIT OF THE REALIZATION THAT YOU DELIVERED SO JUSTLY!
You once again stir up thoughts, and bitterness, and make me laugh out loud!!! I really appreciate your honesty, and humor! Maybe more men,( and okay women )should think things through before hopping over the fence to play in that artificial/bug infested green grass!!
My favorite...LOLOL!!!!!
And as far as I know, baby girl here is a hoe, & she's selling it for dough, or she's a chick with a dick, or has two conjointed toes or sniffs blow up her nose, or she grows and sells the s**t, or she throws massive fits & pick fights just for kicks, or she stalks & blows n****s up if they pack & try to go, or she can burn a n***a's dick, or she can cut off the s**t, or she can spend all my money, or her food can taste funny, or she can leave me all alone with no home & clothes bummy, or she can play a bunch of games, or she can try and cast a "hex", or when we're in the middle of having sex, she can call out the wrong name!.....So as far as I know, she can go be a hoe, weird toes, sniff blow & all of those miscellaneous things cause in the end.....I DON'T KNOW
You have masterful talent!

[~angelalala~]

"She's the apple of my eye, whatever that ever means, The Bonnie to my Clyde, the wet part of my dreams, The reason I "Get By"" i love the way this all flows together. it's got rhythm that flows like silk. i love the way you used color, the green for one, pink for the other. it's very creative & interesting. i also like how at the end you come to the realization that you do want to be with this girl. very intriguing & creative way of expressing yourself.

[Kenji Light]

I like the way this piece wrapped up. I think that the idea of having all of this pressure about what to do with the woman that you have when another person shows up that you think is better is pretty much universal. I mean, there are times when people don't know exactly what step to take in their relationships. I am like that sometimes. Maybe not with my girl now, but I have been before. I have known what it's like to see the grass being greener on the other side, but like the speaker in your piece says, we gotta stick with what we got. We may end up with nothing otherwise and that is worse than anything else.

[ANNA]

How can I say this.... you seem to speck from the unmost amazing voice and message that I could ever breathe, I didn't want anything more but to keep reading this!!!!!!!!!! I F****ing love your poetry!!! You have a wide spread of words that I can't even spell...lol I got so much from this and the things I have gone though in my life. Are now clearer. I never want to be married unless it's for all the right reasons but how will I know if and when it happens!? Woman now of days are wanting wedding rings for all the wrong reasons. Now how will that look on us woman who truly want the man that breath are air take it? Will they hold back their love now. If another was before us. Their one, turned out to be a cheater or hurt them badly, making a shell form over their bleeding hearts. If that happens, then they will never see what's in front of them. See her beautiful soul and I think this piece show me many truth to be told.

I haven't been able to show because I have been scared so many times but I'm waiting time be doing that. I didn't want to see love or any of that. I feel like the man but also like the woman playing this role in your brilliant poem!! You really know how to open our eyes. Shine down on us and break our spell with a performances so breath taking!!! Snap!!Snap! my fingers but how could I not!!!

Much love n respect,
Anna
Beautiful insight to a world of hate

[The DuchessPoet]

Baby, Baby, BABY!
I'm at poetry performances all the time and I could see you and hear you performing this piece!
I would be moaning and clappin' and standing up while you worked your magic!
I don't have a pop that would express my admiration for this piece but I've got some words that might help me:
THIS IS BRILLIANTLY done and spoken!
YOU are OFF-THE-CHAIN!

DAMN!

[Xeru]

This joint right here man... Had me crackin up. I can understand the complexity wanting to give the best of you to one that deserves it but not really sure if they are your best long term choice. But the other side of it like just noticing the variety lol. Thats just a classic Left Field Bridgey joint. The ups and downs of meeting the right one at the right moment and finding out thats exactly what it was. The moment. And then realizing that even tho you hit all that surface s**t pretty quickly... You still dont really know her. And this told that story damn well. This was a good moral fiber type write. Complex in the male Mental Simplicities. You doin it fam.

[Bella]

This is great! I smiled while reading through the whole thing. You have amazing writing skills.

[BJ "Bunneh3000" Brown]

This is F'n brilliant! I hope you've performed this because the whole thing is bliss! LOL

It's interesting how comfortable we can get with life and yet how often we take that comfort for granted when something new and interesting presents itself. Getting to know and trust someone is exhausting but at the same time we don't want to settle. Of course, as you touched on, we are always evaluating who can TRULY live without the other in the relationship but in the end it really doesn't matter. Through ups and downs the real decision is whether or not you are able to work through problems constructively with this love. That is where the confidence in 'forever' comes.

I though I was there once and my forever was cut short by stresses unseen. Of course, cutting it short only adds more of a burden on life but it was because I didn't properly evaluate the relationship thru and thru before I asked her to say, "I Do".

You should check out the book I wrote exploring my divorce. It is the other emotional end that this story in this poem actually begins.

Great write!!!

[MaRmAlAdE]

-Your quality of observation is precise.
-I felt exactly that... "appreciation and realizing the beauty and whats precious already in your life"
-I want a man to live and breath me like that. It actually brought me to tears.

[Nik'aule]

LMAO.... I see you gonna have me laughing my a*s off quite a lot! This is obviously a spoken word piece with a hip-hop flavor... pulls you in, grabs you by the part of your sides that feels laughter the most, and takes you on a rollercoaster ride of reality and hilarity...

loved the scene with the Nia Long toned chick...

This was a "real" poem, and I mean that in the most urban sense of the word.

Much respect!

[THE LOST ROSE]

Damn how much great poetry do you got? This was hot and again the flow is not that of a whack rapper, if of a poetic solider. No one is dropping dimes on the court or on the site like this. the laughter makes my head hurt. Another fantastic poem. Some thing in life is unfair, like Tiger Woods when he is really zoned in. Your poetry is the best!