Caffeine

Caffeine'd up

Words pouring straight from the cup

A douse of sugars not enough

To release the pain onto a paper's love

A pencil's point as sharp as a knife

Split me open, let the empty inside

Insomnia stop.

Let my eyes rest, Let my mind sleep

Attack my emotional break

Kill me with memories

Reviews

[Sarah Lynn]

I like this one too . I definitely can relate to this poem !

[William J. Marsh]

I do work in the film industry. I write, read and review a lot of scripts. I have been published in books, magazines and newspapers. Words and thoughts live and grow in me and I have to get them out. This reads like it was written by an old pro. For a young person you are a true seasoned writer. This piece depicts the reason that I am up reading and writing at this hour.

[Antoñyo]

Ahh, a poem about the friend I know so well...The first four lines should read on my headstone.
Thanks for sharing.

[Brittney]

Thank you!

[Inspiring Writer]

Th rest of poem's here in this write, very deeply penned this write, every word's real and expressed some deep meaning about 'Caffeine' especially last 4 lines your used played a good role in making this write more powerful. Nice flow once again.

[Brittney]

Thank you!! :)

[Pryde Foltz]

Yeah, I like this piece, the savagery and rawness of it and I love my coffee.

But wondering perhaps if there is a typo--- let the empty inside----) left empty inside?

I often do this kind of thing especially when tired and well it is called caffeine.

Like the write either way. xoxo.

[Brittney]

Thanks for pointing that out, lol and yea this poem was the result of a long tired night filed with caffeine

[Mockingbird]

this is a great poem. i wouldn't change any of it. you're the artist and it's your own work of art. you could write any way you like. it really illustrate what one goes through having insomnia and the madness it brings. excellent job.

[Brittney]

Thank you truly appreciated. And I take all suggestions to heart but as you said its my own work of art in the end I make it how I want. What a great observation, thanks you

[K. Louis]

let the empty inside insomnia stop. -- Great line here...
and love the rhythm of this piece.

[Brittney]

Thank you!

[bobc]

Like this. Wondering of the omitted punctuation was deliberate as in 'a papers love' instead of '...a paper's love' and 'A pencils point...' instead of 'A pencil's point...'? ...bob

[Glen Yumang Manese]

Seems you wrote this quite fast... needs a little adjustment and the verse would have much the life you wanted to convey... Can I suggest:

Caffeine up
Words pour straight from the cup
A douse of sugar not enough
To release the pain onto papers of love
Pencil point as sharp as a knife
Split me open, let the emptiness inside
Insomnia stop
Let my eyes rest, Let my mind sleep
Attack my emotional break
Kill me with memories

Sounds like a daily occurrence in a writer's world...

[Brittney]

Thank you for your suggestion and all the kind reviews. Well appreciated :)

[minisla]

I really liked the relationship you made with the opening two lines.

[Brittney]

Thank you!