Summer On Elbows

 

 

She was not aware of the July heat. She also didn't notice the sweat collecting in the swell of her back. However, Summer did notice the way her toes curled. It made her think of dog-earred pages in harlequin novels. The sand was rough against her soft skin, providing a delightful contrast. She felt like her body was in sync with the water lapping against the beach. She felt as if every moment was a blessed infinity.

 

Looking up, her eyes blurred, then slipped back into focus. An old bridge hovered over the narrow strip of water. It held rusted train-cars. Someone had spray-painted on the side of one, "when the gods wish to punish us, they answer our prayers".

 

Summer quickly became aware of the sickening heat of July. Summer also realized the sweat trickling down the nape of her neck was pooling in the curve of her back. Her toes were thrust in the sand like footnotes in a Shakespearean play. And the sun above and the sand below was an overwhelming contrast. Summer felt as if the water was mimicking her body. Summer was on elbows and it truly was an infinite moment.

 

Author's Note

This is influenced by Oscar Wilde's "The Picture of Dorian Gray". One line inspired this. "Religion is just a fashionable substitute for Belief".

Reviews

[roarke]

In the first paragraph, Summer seems aware of infinity and in the last it doesn't directly say she's aware, just that her posture was an infinite moment.

the word "did" in the first paragraph is very pivotal. In those infinite moments she was aware of a certain frame of the "universe." Then the middle paragraph a possible intrusion of reality, it changes her awareness.

Yet, I would more suspect Shakespeare in the first paragraph and Harlequin novels in the third but you didn't place it like that.

I enjoy well written pieces I have to think, ask questions of myself and compare and contrast what goes on. This is a sublime as a Zen koan. Thank you for the contemplative read.

[JelliFyshKissUs]

I love how you describe her eyes adjusting. I'm a stickler for detail. If I don't feel I'm living through others when I read, I am not happy. Very poetic and beautiful. You have an excellent flow. I'll be back for more of your work.

[jenniewren (J.W. Bouwma..]

ahhh exquisite. i know this moment, and the bliss is just as brief and as eternal as this. you've captured each and every sense, and made me close my eyes in memory of the moment of being comfortable in my own skin.

the title is absolutely wonderful, but then, i'm pretty sure you could feel that.

[Gina Hildebrand]

I wish it was longer. Only spelling mistake: mimicking.

I like how "the sun above and the sand below" seems to be a reference to the gods being so much higher up than us.

[Alysa Salzberg]

Hi, I really loved this, especially the creative ways you describe Summer's toes curling. A very interesting piece - I feel like there's a lot here, and I want to come back and read it again! One small critique: in the second-to-last sentence, I think it should be written "mimicking" instead of "mimicing." That's just a small thing, though - this piece is so much bigger than such mechanics. Thanks for a great read, and I look forward to discovering more of your work!

[Jibey]

This was a nicely captured scene and a moment that had that extra dimension to it that made it worth recording... Striking imagery - 'dog-eared pages of harlequin novels' and 'like footnotes in a Shakespearian play'. There was something very sensual about the sweat trickling down... and it was indeed a transcendent moment...

[DavidRyanM]

I love it. I love how the paragraph in the middle breaks up the other two but how they're like a mirror. Fantastic. Your writing has always been amazing, but the new stuff you're coming up with is "every day amazing". Love it.