Chapter Fourteen

Mackenzie’s POV

            “So, what’s everyone doing for the holiday weekend?” Mama asks everyone at the kitchen table. I’m so glad that I’m able to be in this house, because it not only is near everyone in mine and Ade’s families, but it’s also big enough to hold us all, like in this case. Between the two of our families there’s: Mama and Daddy Rivera, Naya and Heather, Mychal and Lea, Lorena and Rafael, Miguel and Alison, Carlos and Holly, Nicka, Lilly, Ade, Autumn, the twins, and myself. That’s 19 people! Wow.

            “Well, we still go up to the cabins in Sonora. You all are more than welcome to come with if you don’t have plans.” Lorena tells us while finishing up her food. “Mm.. Yolanda that food was amazing. Thank you again!”

            “No problem! It was my pleasure. I love seeing everyone together and for such an occasion as bringing Anya home, it definitely needed to be celebrated!”

            I sit quietly throughout the rest of the dinner, just watching the families I’ve known and love interact, laugh, and talk. It’s a truly beautiful sight to see everyone having fun and celebrating together. I can’t wait to have more moments like this.

            “What’s going on in that pretty little head, my love?” Adrianna whispers in my ear and I’m brought out of my thoughts while our parents are clearing the table. “You’re thinking about something.”

            Adrianna takes Anya from my arms and holds her up against her shoulder, slightly bouncing her to get her to settle into sleep again. “You’re so beautiful.” I whisper and lean in for a kiss. Adrianna breathes out a laugh into the kiss.

            “Thank you, you aren’t half bad yourself.” She winks as she pulls back. “But I don’t think that’s what was on your mind.”

            “I was just thinking about our families. It’s so fun to have them all together and seeing everyone talk and interact. I just can’t wait for it to happen more often.” I smile and she returns her own before Anya starts fussing in her arms.

            “She’s probably hungry. Where’s Conner? He’ll probably want to eat too.”

            “I think Lilly has him. She’s already wrapped around his little finger.” And it’s true. In the last two weeks that Conner’s been home, every time Lilly is here, she will just hold him and watch him. She’s so adorable with him.

            “Well, I’m going to take her and feed her in the nursery and lay her down for the night, then I’ll come get Conner. It’s getting late.”

            “Okay, we’ll finish up in here and just wait in the living room.” She leans in for a quick kiss since most of our families are still in the room, hands me Anya, and I make my way to the nursery.

            I’m glad that the nursery has become a sort of private area for Conner, and now Anya, and I. Everyone who has been helping since the twins were born have all respected that when I feed the babies in the nursery, it’s my alone time with them. Now that Anya’s home, I’m glad we can have this time too. No nurses coming in or monitor sounds or other hospital noises. Just me and my babies.

            As my baby girl eats, I softly sing “Everything’ll Be Alright,” a song I used to sing when I first moved to New York and then again after I found out I was pregnant. When I finish the song, I wipe the tears from my eyes and look up to see Adrianna, smiling, holding Conner in the doorway.

            “He needs a diaper change.” She silently moves to the changing table and starts changing him before speaking up again. “That was a beautiful song.”

            “Thanks. I heard it shortly after I moved to New York and it reminded me of you. Me being in New York and you in LA. I felt like the song was written for us and I sang it every day  for a while. Then again when I got pregnant.” I stand up to switch the babies with Ade, her changing Anya and myself feeding Conner. It’s weird, yet not weird at all, to think we’re this domesticated with each other already. No talking, just going through the motions like we’ve done it for years.

            “Can you sing it again?” Adrianna whispers as she places Anya in her Minnie Mouse, round crib, the baby already asleep. I nod my head, silently watching Conner for a couple seconds before singing. Before putting him in his Mickey Mouse crib, that matches his sister’s, I kiss his smooth forehead and say goodnight. After saying goodnight to his sister, I turn and face Adrianna.

            “Can you stay with me tonight?” I can tell my question takes her by surprise, because her eyes become saucers for a quick second before she relaxes. It’s the first time we will be spending a night together since we started dating again, but it’s been about two months since we found each other and I think I’m ready for this.

            “Y-yea, sure. I can have my mom take Autumn for th-.”

            “She can stay. We have the twins’ pack and plays.” I shrug, not sure why, but I just really want them both here tonight. Maybe because I’m nervous of having the twins by myself for the first time. I’m not sure, but I just want my girlfriend with me right now.

            “O-okay. Do you want anyone else to stay and help tonight?” My house has had everyone coming and going for the last two weeks, I’ve not been alone at all since Conner and I came home from the hospital. I want everyone to have a break and for me to have a break, maybe I shouldn’t have Ade stay. It’s selfish of me. She probably doesn’t want to have to deal with three babies, two of which aren’t even hers. Ugh! I shouldn’t have said anything.

            “You’re thinking really hard tonight, choochie.”

            “I’m being selfish. I’m sorry.”

            “Why? You’re not selfish.”

            “Yes, I am. I just told you earlier that I wanted everyone to go home, but here I am having you and Autumn stay the night. You shouldn’t have to help me take care of the twins. They’re not yours or your responsibility. I’m sorry. You don’t have to stay.” I move to walk out of the room before she can see my eyes watering, but she’s quick to reach for my arm and stop me.

            “I want to stay. However, you’re right.” I look up into her eyes and see softness. “I shouldn’t have to stay and help with the twins, but I want to if you want me to. It’s up to you Mackenzie. You are a strong woman and you’re independent. None of us are going to tell you otherwise. If you want to take care of the twins by yourself tonight, I’ll be here first thing in the morning to tell you how proud I am.”

            Her smile and the sincerity in her voice make the tears finally fall and I know what I need to do, even though I don’t want to. I have to send her home. I need to do this by myself. I need to prove to myself that I can do it.

            “You promise to be here tomorrow?”

            “Of course, mi cariña. Right now though, it’s late and I can tell you’re tired. How about you go take a bath and get in bed and I’ll go finally send everyone home. Autumn and I will come say goodbye before we leave.”

            “Okay, I think I’m just going to take a shower. I may fall asleep in the bath.” The extent of just how tired I actually am is finally hitting me, but I know if I don’t take a shower now, I won’t get one once the babies are awake.

AGMJAGMJAGMJ

            When I wake up the next day, I can smell pancakes cooking. I know it’s Adrianna, so I roll over to turn the monitor off, but it’s already off. As quick as I can, with my stomach still being sore, I move to the nursery to find it empty.

            “Adrianna!” I yell through the house and move towards the kitchen when I begin to hear the soft babble of Autumn in the kitchen. As I turn the corner, I see Conner and Anya sleeping in their bouncers, Autumn sitting on the floor with them, smiling, and playing with their little hands. I smile at the scene before walking over and wrapping my arms around my girlfriend’s waist. I have to move slightly onto my tiptoes to kiss her cheek, before setting back down and just holding her, resting the side of my face on her back.

            “Don’t scare me like that again.”

            “Lo siento, sweetie. You just looked so peaceful this morning and you were pretty out of it when I woke you up.”

            “I didn’t wake up this morning. I didn’t even know you were here until just now.”

            “Yes, honey, you did wake up.” She laughs. “I walked into your room and Autumn had wiggled her way out of my arms because she wanted to sit on your bed. I sat her down and she tapped your leg. I kissed you and said ‘good morning.’ You smiled, said ‘good morning, baby.’ I asked you when the twins ate last and you whispered, ‘at six.’ And you rolled over, and fell back asleep.”

            “When was that?”

            “Autumn and I got here at eight, so I turned the monitor off and grabbed your phone so you could sleep in. I thought you deserved it after having them by yourself for the first night and, as I promised..” She turns around and wraps her arms around my waist, my arms moving to around her neck. “I’m so proud of you.” We exchange a couple soft kisses before Autumn toddles over and squeezes in between us. We look down and see her toothy grin staring up at us.

            “What time is it now?” I ask as Adrianna picks up Autumn. “Hi, baby girl!”

            “It’s almost ten.”

            “Oh my goodness! You should have woken me up, Ade. I feel horrible.”

            “It’s fine, babe, the babies woke up around nine, I warmed up your milk from the fridge and fed them. Anya was fussy at first, but of course, Conner was no issue. Then we came out here and they fell asleep in their bouncers, so I figured I’d make some breakfast.”

            “Well, thank you. I noticed things last night with the twins. Like, Conner cried when Anya wasn’t here, but last night he never did. Every time they woke up for a feeding, Anya would cry and I’d go in there and Conner would just be laying in his crib. No tears, just waiting. It’s crazy to see their personalities already starting this early and they’re only two weeks old.”

            “I know. Autumn definitely likes them though, she’s been sitting on the floor for the last hour with them while I cooked breakfast.”

            “She’s so cute. Speaking of breakfast, I smell pancakes!”

            “Waffles actually. With sausage and I brought over some fresh fruit.”

            “You are the best girlfriend ever!” We both freeze at that moment and just sort of stare, wide eyed at each other, Adrianna smiling much more quickly than I.

            “Even though I knew we’re dating, I think that’s the first time either of us has said ‘the g word’ out loud.”

            “Yea, but it feels different. Like it’s not good enough.”

            “That’s what I was saying in the hospital, in Anya’s room. It doesn’t feel like a high school, teenage love anymore, Kenzie. I feel it in my bones. We’re going to be together. When I was saying that before was like playing house, I was meaning it in a sense that we didn’t know where the world would take us, but we knew we’d be together. We were kind of just waiting to see what would happen next. Now, I know what’s going to happen. We’ll raise these three beautiful kids and, somewhere down the line, we’ll get married. I feel it.”

            “That’s exactly it. Well, I can’t wait to spend my future with you.” I smile into a long kiss before Autumn starts laughing at us, tapping my shoulder for me to take her.

            “Are you good holding her? She’s kind of heavy.” My heart swells at the nervous look Ade gives me and then my stomach. I hold my hands out and nod my head.

            “I’ll sit down at the table with her.” I take the little brunette to the table to sit and talk to her. We’re having a very intense conversation about unicorns and butterflies when Adrianna pushes a plate in front of me with a soft smile on her face.

            “Okay, my little unicorn, it’s time for breakfast.” Adrianna picks her up as I whisper.

            “We’ll finish this later.” I wink at Autumn who smiles and blinks hard in return while Ade laughs.

            “So, I want to talk to you about something.” Adrianna tells me as she cuts up Autumn’s food and puts it onto the high chair tray. I nod my head and look at her. “So, as you know my family goes up to our cabins in Corona every year for the fourth, we’re going to be leaving tomorrow, and I was wondering if you wanted to come with us. You’ve been there before.”

            “Yea, but we don’t exactly have the best memories there from last time.”

            “But this isn’t last time. We’re not teenagers and our past is the past. No need to bring it up this weekend. I want you to go with me, because you’re my real, adult girlfriend and you deserve a relaxing weekend with family and friends.”

            “I’d love to, but what about the babies? How long are you all going to be there?”

            “Well, tomorrow is Thursday, the fourth is on Friday, I think my family is staying until Sunday, but it’s not like we’re stuck there. Everyone can come and go.”

            “I just don’t want the babies to bother anyone, you know? They wake up every three hours at night. That could be hard on everyone else’s weekend.”

            “Well, we have the two cabins, so my parents, sisters, brothers and their girlfriends are going to be in the main house, because I already talked to everyone and they said we can have the three bedroom guest house, if you come.”

            “I don’t know, Ade, I’d love to, it’ll just be hard to do anything.”

            “Well, we aren’t doing anything major. Just hanging out as a family like when we were teenagers. It’s completely up to you though, absolutely no pressure.”

            I continue to eat my breakfast while I think things through. I finish the last of my food before answering. “That was delicious. Thank you, bubbles. Okay, we’re in. The babies can share a room with Autumn, that way your sisters don’t have to share a room. If I remember, the main cabin only has four bedrooms.

            “No, my parents said we could have the cabin. I’m taking it.” Ade laughs and smiles at me with a slightly smug look. I can’t help, but smile back with a shake of my head.

            “At least Nicka and Lilly won’t have to worry about trying to quietly push those twin beds together.” Adrianna laughs.

            “Honey, we weren’t quiet at all. My whole family knew what we were doing. Why do you think mom and dad were giving us those knowing smiles the next morning after we moved them back?”

            “Oh. My. Gosh. You don-. You don’t think they… heard.. anything. Do you?”

            “Oh, babe, that weekend wasn’t the only time my family heard us, trust me.” Ade just continues to laugh. “Babe, your eyes are going to pop out of your head. It’s not that bad.”

            I have to busy myself to get my mind off this new information, so I start clearing the table. “What do you mean it’s not that bad, Adrianna? You’re telling me that your family has heard us having sex and you’re acting like we’re talking about the weather!”

            I accidently slam the plates down in the sink harder than I intended and Anya starts crying, which makes Autumn fussy in the high chair. Adrianna cleans up Autumn before setting her on the floor and the toddler rushes out of the room away from the crying baby. I quickly go to Anya and pick her up, cuddling her into my chest.

            “I’m sorry, baby bug. Mommy’s sorry.” I continue to bounce and shh the little blonde simultaneously calming myself as well. Adrianna walks over to me after setting up a movie for Autumn in the living room. She rubs Anya’s back, who is fast asleep again, before tilting her head motioning me to sit at the table.

            “First, Autumn is starting to say more words, so we probably shouldn’t say ‘sex’ in front of her. And second, Kenz, I wasn’t acting like it’s a big deal, because it’s not. My family is not the Jackson’s. We’re a very comfortable family, you know that. You were there when we all found out Nickayla lost her virginity. We just don’t care. Sex is natural, we know that. As long as we’re all being safe, everything’s chill. My family may tease each other, but we would never bash someone for being active.”

            “I guess.” I exhale a long breath. “I guess I just didn’t think about how they could hear us. I always thought we were quiet or no one was home. Why didn’t anyone say anything to us? You guys totally roasted Nicka.”

            “They didn’t say anything, because of you. Trust me, I heard a ton whenever you weren’t around, but they aren’t stupid. They knew how you grew up. Hell, you lived with us when the Rivera’s were in LA. So, don’t worry about it. Okay?” I nod my head and she places a soft kiss to my forehead. “But you are right. Nicka and Lilly won’t have to deal with that. I swear, whoever thought of putting wooden beds on a wood floor, has no love in their life.”

            We both laugh before hearing the front door open and a happy squeal from Autumn. “Hey, baby girl!” Naya walks in holding a smiling Autumn, the pair followed by Heather. “Auntie Nay Nay brought my three babies some gifts! Hi, sissy!”

            “Hey, sissy. Here take your niece before she needs to be fed.”

            “Heather can take her. Autumn has a death grip on my shirt.” I pass Anya to a smiling Heather and lean over to check a still sleeping Conner. “I want to show you guys what I got for these beautiful babies!”

            Naya proceeds to sit at the table across from us, Heather next to her cooing over Anya.

            “I just got some soft toys and things for the twins, but I saw this outfit and it just screamed Autumn.” She pulls out some little dark blue jeans with blue embroidered flowers on the bottom of the legs. White sandals, next. The shirt is the cutest thing ever, though. It is definitely Autumn, who has a very Boho-Chic look. The shirt is a blue, almost tunic looking shirt with white flowers printed on it. It is so adorable and one look at Ade’s face, I know Naya did good.

            “Nay, you didn’t have to do that, but thank you! It’s so adorable! I’ll bring it for her this weekend.” Adrianna gives her a hug and takes the outfit to get a better look at it. It still puts a huge smile on my face knowing that Naya and Adrianna are getting along now. While they still aren’t the closest people, they have their moments, and at least they don’t hate each other anymore.

            “No problem! You guys are going up to the cabins this weekend?”

            “Yea, my family is and Kenz and the babies are coming too.”

            I am just standing up to get Conner to start feeding and changing them when I see Naya side-eye Heather. “What’s up, sissy?”

            “Well, Heather and I had a favor to ask you two.”

            “What’s up? Is everything okay?”

            “Yea, um, Ade? Your mom said yesterday that my family was invited this weekend, but the subject was kind of dropped after that. So, our question is: Can we come? Mychal and Lea are going to be with her family this weekend and I think mom and dad are just going to be going to some local parties. Please! We never get to do anything together outside of a house because of the stupid media. Please!”

            I’m on my way to walk to the nursery when I see and hear Ade start stuttering out an excu-, I mean answer. “Ade, can you help me with Conner please?”

            “Y-yea, sure, babe.”

            We don’t say anything until the nursery door is closed behind us. Adrianna moves to sit on the rocking chair and I change Conner.

            “I’m not trying to start a fight, I promise, but why don’t you want them to go?”

            “What do you mean? I don’t care if they go.”

            “Cut the crap, Ade. If you wanted them to go, you would have instantly said ‘okay,’ but you turned into friggen Porky Pig out there!”

            “Kenz, Porky Pig?”

            “He stutters. Which is what you were doing, now answer me, please.”

            I move to the rocking chair and she releases a long exhale while standing, so I can sit and feed Conner. She paces the room for a couple minutes before finally answering.

            “Okay, it’s not that I don’t want them to come. That’s not it. I promise. I just don’t want to share a cabin with them which is what is going to happen. We’ve spent almost all of our time with them for the last two weeks. I was just hoping that we could have Adrienzie time. Just us and I feel that if they go, we’re going to end up in a four day double date with them.”

            “I can see your point, but we can set boundaries. I don’t always have to be with my sister, plus her and Heather really do want some time to themselves too. Heather loves the outdoors, so I’m sure, since they’ll have the freedom, she’ll have Naya out and hiking. Plus, we’ll give them the master bedroom downstairs and we can take the two rooms upstairs with the babies.”

            “I don’t know, Kenz. I already have to share you with my family.”

            “And you’ll have to share me with Conner and Anya and I’ll have to share you with Autumn. We’re mothers, Ade. Very rarely from now on are we going to get alone time together and if we do, we’ll need help.”

            “Are you saying that you’d recruit your sister and her girlfriend to watch the kids this weekend?” She stops pacing and looks at me with a small smirk playing on her lips.

            “I’m not saying that they’ll do it, because I’m not going to force them into anything, but I’m sure they’d be fine for a couple hours, plus we’ll have your family. It’ll be a fun weekend, bubbles! Please let them come.”

            “You’re pouting. Pl-please stop pouting. I can’t handle it.”

AGMJAGMJAGMJ

            “Are you ever going to stop being mad at me?”

            “What do you mean, Mackenzie?”

            “Ade, you just full named me. You’re upset. You’ve barely even talked to me in two days. I miss you.”

            “I don’t know what to tell you. I’m not upset. I’m pissed. I thought we decided that you’d go to UCLA with me? What happened to those plans, Mackenzie?”

            “M-my parents told me a couple days before we came out here that they won’t pay for me to go to UCLA. My parents both graduated NYU and Tyler and Quinn both go there. We’ve all known since we were little that’s where we’d all go.”

            “Then why even make plans with me?” I very rarely have seen Adrianna as upset as she is now. She hasn’t really talked to me since I told her family on the fourth that I’d be going to NYU in the fall. I know I should have told her first, privately, but I couldn’t bring myself to hurt her. Guess I did anyway. Now, it’s the sixth and her family is packing up the cabin to head back to LA. This is my second year coming out here with them, last year as just Ade’s friend.

            “I-I wanted to go to UCLA, Ade. I still do, but they won’t pay and I’m a lifeguard! How am I supposed to pay for school? They want me to go to NYU. I need this, Ade.”

            “No! They want you away from me and they want you to find some nice rich, lawyer boy who is so charismatic and will provide for you and your two point five kids and the dog and a house with the white picket fence! They want you to go away so they can go on vacation and not worry about you having attacks while they’re gone. They don’t need you like I need you, Mackenzie! Why didn’t you tell me before dropping it on my family at dinner?”

            “I didn’t want to hurt you.” I whisper, unable to make eye contact.

            Adrianna huffs out a laugh. “Ha! So much for that, right? So, when are your ‘oh, so loving parents’ shipping you off?”

            “They’re not shipping me off and stop talking about them like that. They love my siblings and I.”

            “No! They love the ‘perfect’ Tyler and Quinn. When are you going to open your eyes and see that they treat you like garbage, Mackenzie? And you just bow down and perform for them at their beck and call!”

            “They’re my parents, Adrianna!” Tears start streaming down my face as I realize that I’m yelling. “I deserve parents too! Real, blood parents. Not Mama Rivera. Not your mom. I deserve MY own mom and dad! I want to make them happy and proud of me and if NYU will give that to them, then I’m going to go! And if you can’t understand that, then maybe we shouldn’t be together!”

            I instantly slap my hand over my own mouth at my words. I cannot believe what I just said. The look on Adrianna’s face breaks my heart all together. She looks like she’s been crushed.

            “A-Ade, I’m sor-.”

            “Save it. I’m driving back with my brothers. You can drive with mom and dad.”

            As the bedroom door slams, I wake up with a start and turn to my left to see Adrianna tentatively smiling at me in the driver’s seat. “You okay, babe? Have a bad dream?”

            “Umm, yea. It was about the last time we were at the cabins.” I pull my left hand out of her right, which I didn’t realize she was holding, and instinctively play with the bottom of my shirt.

            “Hey, stop that.” She takes my hand back into hers, but my right hand still picks at the hem. “Now, I told you yesterday that whole thing was water under the bridge. We made up the next day. Yea, we broke up, and I was still kind of pissed, but more at your parents than at you. Okay? We both apologized about that day. No need to air out the dirty laundry again.”

            “Okay, thank you again for driving today. I just didn’t get any sleep last night between the twins and this headache.”

            “I’m just glad we’re able to use your Jeep. Is your head still hurting?”

            “Yea. It’s such a bad migraine. I got it a little after you guys left yesterday afternoon.” Ade softly puts her hand on the back of my neck, cheeks, and forehead.

            “You have a slight fever. Look at me real quick.” I turn my head and look into her brown eyes. She takes a couple quick looks, trying not to keep her eyes off the road too long. “Baby, you look miserable. Your eyes are all glossy and you have bags under them. We’re about thirty minutes from the cabin. When we get there, you can feed the babies and pump if you need to, but then you’re taking medicine and going to lay down.”

            “But I want to he-.”

            “No, my mom is not going to let you anywhere near the kitchen to help in the condition you look. Kenz, you can’t even keep your eyes open.”

            “Okay, but I don’t want to lay down for long. I should be fine after an hour or so. You promise to wake me up?”

            “I promise, babe. I’ll get all the kids unpacked while you feed Conner and Anya and then when mom’s finished with lunch, I’ll wake you up. Deal?”

            “Deal.”

AGMJAGMJAGMJ

            “Baby? Kenz. Wake up.” I stir slightly at the voice, but settle again. “Kenzie, wake up, honey, you need to eat something.”

            I slowly wake up and hear Autumn quietly babbling and Naya talking with Heather downstairs. I open my eyes and meet the gorgeous brown orbs that I love. I give her a small smile which she returns and leans in to kiss me. Just what I needed. All my thoughts clear my head as I can only think of our lips molding together perfectly. She pulls away slightly before peppering kisses on my cheeks and forehead.

            “Your fever seems to be down, not completely gone though. How’s your head?”

            “It’s better. Maybe some slight pain, but not as bad as earlier. Is lunch ready?”

            “Not exactly. I couldn’t bring myself to wake you up for lunch, because I knew you had barely fallen asleep probably twenty minutes before.”

            “Ade, you promised!” I whine, not really upset, but I did want to see everyone.

            “I know I did and I’m sorry, but dinner is almost ready, so I figured I’d see if you were hungry before you laid back down for the night. Plus, the medicine should be cleared now, if you want to nurse.”

            “What time is it?”

            “It’s almost seven.”

            “Adrianna! You let me sleep for over six hours?”

            “Choochie, you were going to be miserable trying to entertain the family, plus the twins with that headache. You needed rest and I’m not going to apologize for that.”

            “Okay, I know, you’re right. Not that I’m saying you had to, but did you unpack my bag at all, because I’ll need my medicine after I feed Conner and Anya.”

            “I did, your medicine and vitamins are all in the bathroom. How’s your medicine working?”

            “Well, I’ve been doing what the doctor told me, since he took me down to just one dose of the PPD medicine, he told me to start taking my inhaler in the morning again in lieu of the first dose. He said if that works, then starting next week, I can take my inhaler twice a day instead of the PPD meds and then bring me down to just using it ‘as needed’ like before.”

            “Okay, I’m glad. I’m proud of you. Hungry?”

            “Yea, but my chest is killing me. I need to nurse.”

            “Okay, sleeping beauty. They’re down stairs with their aunties.”

            “You really think they’ll stay together?”

            “Well, yea, don’t you?”

            “Of course, Naya’s been head over heels for Heather since they met and Heather balances her. I just know that you’re more realistic and not so much a hopeless romantic as I am.”

            “We can’t all think with the brilliant mind that you have.”

            “I’m am so far from brilliant. Ade, I thought aliens were going to abduct me when we were sixteen.”

            “In your defense, that was the craziest timing for news helicopters to be flying around Calabasas. I will never be able to watch Signs the same way again without thinking of the flashing lights outside your parents’ house. Also, randomness, did you pack enough clothes for Conner and Anya this weekend?”

            “Hey, don’t make fun! You should know that babies go through a lot of clothes!”

            “Kenzie, you packed them, I swear, at least fifty outfits a piece. We’re only going to be here four days.”

            “I like to have options.”

            “Snow gear?”

            “Yea.. those may have just been me being a paranoid first-time mom.”

            Adrianna just laughs as she snakes her arm around my waist and kisses my temple. We make our way downstairs to see Autumn, Naya, and Heather sitting on the couch, Lilly holding Conner and Carlos holding Anya on the floor, along with Holly; the whole lot of them watching the opening scene of Peter Pan.

            Naya and I exchange sly smiles to each other, Heather being the only other person to know the full extent of my (and Mychal’s) love for this movie. Adrianna knows some, but not the full story. I walk over to grab Conner from Lilly and, like usual, the small boy doesn’t fuss. He simply lets out a content sigh as I cuddle him to my chest, moving over to the rocking chair to feed him.

            “Here, babe.” Adrianna hands me a baby blanket to cover up and picks up Autumn to take her spot on the couch, placing the toddler on her lap. Half way through feeding Conner, I am completely lost in the movie and start whispering the lines as the movie plays.

            “Ohhh. Poor Nana. Poor Nana? This is the last straw! Out! Out, I say! No, father, no! Yes! They’ll be no more dogs for nurse maids in this house. Good bye, Nana.” I move to burp Conner and talk to him. “Poor Michael. He only knows Nana taking care of him, because he has a mean daddy.”

            I look up to the clearing of someone’s throat. “Okay, that was a little creepy.” Carlos admits, wide eyed.

            “That was nothing. You should have seen Mychal and her when they were kids. That was creepy.”

            “Oh my god. Shut up, Naya.” I close my eyes in embarrassment, only to hear her laugh.

            “What? It was all innocent.”

            “Oh my god! I wasn’t even thinking about that, but you’re so embarrassing. Shut up!” I fix my shirt and hand Conner back to Lilly, taking Anya and walking out of the room. I make my way up to the bedroom and manage to get Anya settled and eating before there’s a familiar knock on the door.

            “Come in.”

            “What’s wrong, sissy?”

            “Not everyone needs to know about that stuff.”

            “What stuff? And who’s everyone? Our whole family knows about it. It’s not that big of a deal, babe.”

            “But Ade doesn’t know about it nor does her family. She knows we used to play Peter Pan, but she doesn’t know about the kissing.”

            “Yea, well, now your woman is a nervous wreck thinking way more than just kisses were exchanged, Kenz. You guys were six years old! It was all innocent. So, you need to tell Adrianna that or else she’s going to need your inhaler.”

            “I guess. I don’t know. I just don’t want to mess things up this weekend. Not with her.”

            “Mackenzie, you’re not a teenager anymore. Stop living in and worrying about the past. I know what happened last time you were here sucked, but you guys have all the support for you guys here this time. So relax and have fun!”

            At a soft knock on the door, we look up and see Adrianna holding Conner.

            “Sorry, I just figured I’d change him since you fed him.” She croaks out, not making eye contact. I fix my shirt and start burping Anya.

            “Ade, can we talk?” I silently look to Naya who gets the point and leaves the room, closing the door behind her. When Adrianna’s done with Conner she lays him in the middle of the bed and sits on the edge.

            “I overreacted downstairs. I’m sorry. Naya’s right though; it was all innocent. Mychal and I went through this puppy love stage when we were around five and six years old. Before that, we would play Peter Pan all the time, changing our characters around and just having fun, but, I don’t know, after a while something changed and we were always Peter and Wendy.” I place Anya on the bed next to Conner and their hands instinctively find each other’s.

            “One day, after I gave him his shadow back, he kissed me. We kept playing like that for a long time and one day we just stopped and went back to playing different characters. I understand if you’re upset, but you just needed to know. That’s where we got the nicknames from, I just didn’t want you to find out because of Naya’s big mouth.”

            “Oh my gosh, Kenzie. I was thinking some things way worse than kissing.” She let out a relieved laugh. “The way you reacted, I thought you guys hooked up or something!”

            “Ew. No! After that, he was always my brother. We never talk about it. I’ve teased him a whole one time about it and that was at my baby shower, but other than that, it’s sort of a family thing that everyone just ignores. It weirds us both out when we think or talk about it.”

            “Okay, well.” Kiss. “I’m glad you told me.” Smile. Kiss. “But it’s over now and we won’t talk about it.” Kiss. “I’m going to change Anya.” Kiss. “Meet me downstairs?”

            Smile. “Of course.” Kiss.

AGMJAGMJAGMJ

            “So, Mackenzie, how are you adjusting to both the babies being home now?” Lorena asks as we start to clear the table; the rest of Adrianna’s family having already dispersed to their different activities for the night.

            “Well, I really only had them by myself for those two days and Ade whisked us off to here.” I laugh. “But it’s fun. Definitely different, but I wouldn’t trade it. Thanks again for letting us come out here with you all.”

            “Yes, thank you, Lorena. Heather and I really appreciate it as well.”

            “No problem, girls.”

            I look over and notice that Lilly is staring wide eyed at her plate and it occurred to me that she hasn’t really said anything since we sat down for dinner. “Is something wrong, Lilly?”

            “Huh?” She quick looks at me and looks at Naya and Heather before returning her gaze to her plate, picking it up, and walking towards the kitchen. “No, n-nothing’s wrong.” It finally occurs to me what is going on with her, but I don’t want to talk to her in front of Naya and Heather. Luckily, Heather changes the subject.

            “So, Kenz, how’s your stomach been since the surgery?”

            “I’ve been okay. It hurts to bend still and to pick up anything heavier than, like, ten or fifteen pounds, but other than that I’m good.”

            “What about walking?”

            “I’m fine, why?”

            “I want to go for a hike sometime this weekend and I was wondering if you’d want to come with.” Heather and I have almost the same personality, but we’ve never really hung out without Naya or someone else from their castmates.

            “Of course! Maybe not too far, but I’d love to go with you.”

            “Um.. Heather, ar-are we fighting or something?” The two of us look towards our girlfriends, both of which are not at all hiding their confusion.

            “No, honey, why?”

            “Well, why didn’t you ask me to go hiking?”

            “I just figured you wouldn’t want to go. You’re not much of an outdoor person.”

            “Naya, if you don’t want me to go, I won’t.”

            “No, you want to go, so you can go, I’m not going to take that away from you.”

            “Umm.. okay? I’m going to take these babies and head back over to our cabin, but I want to talk to Lilly privately before you three go back. So, give me, like, ten minutes.”

            I grab Lilly from the room she’s sharing with Nicka and smirk at the fact that the beds are now on wheels. I’ll have to talk to Adrianna about that. She takes Conner and we make our way next door to the guest cabin.

            “I’m sorry I didn’t give you any warning at my sister and Heather were coming.”

            “Why are you sorry?”

            “Because I didn’t really consider a few things. One being that you and Becca watch the show and I know this, because you both wear the shirts. Two being that even if you didn’t watch the show, they still are big names. And three that you are crushing on them.. hard.” I contain my laughter even as the girl’s eyes seem to pop out of her head.

            “I-I don’t have a crush on either of them.”

            “Lilly, you don’t have to hide yourself from me of all people. I can read people. I know you and Becca have something going on. What exactly it is, I don’t know, nor do I need to, but I can see it.” I cut her off as she opens her mouth to speak. “No, I really don’t think that anyone else knows about it. Like I said, I can read people. Just like I knew about Naya and Heather before they came out.”

            “Are you going to say anything?” My heart almost breaks at how small she sounds.

            “Absolutely not! About anything. Promise. But you know your family won’t care, why are you hiding it?”

            “I guess I just want to be comfortable with myself before I say anything. Adrianna’s always been very open and honest and comfortable with herself. I’m not as confident as her. I want to be sure I am 100% into girls before I say anything to my family.”

            “Okay, I can understand that, but listen to me. You may like celery and eat it all the time, but every once in a while, you just go for the brownie instead.”

            “Umm.. I’m not really sure what you mean, Kenz.”

            “Okay, it’s like this. You don’t have to 100% like and want something in order to put a label on yourself, because then the second you deviate, you’re scared you’ll be called a hypocrite, like eating a brownie instead of your normal celery. Cliché as it sounds, sexuality is really fluid. You don’t have to say you 100% like one particular gender, race, anything. You just have to love the person you’re with 100% and your family and friends should be happy and support you.”

            The younger brunette silently nods her head with a small smile on her face. We both sit in relative silence for a couple minutes, only the sound of Conner and Anya breathing in their sleep can be heard. I move the babies, one at a time, to their make shift nursery in the room down the hall and make sure to kiss them goodnight before turning the monitor on and closing the door. I could tell Liliana needed some time to think.

            When I walk back into the room, she whispers, “Can I ask you something really personal and you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”

            “Of course.”

            “Okay, I’m just curious, because you never really talk about it and never did when you lived with us either, but, I guess, I’m just wondering how you knew and how you’re so okay with it all when you were raised not to believe in it?”

            “I honestly didn’t know I was attracted to girls until I met your sister.. and I’ll keep it PG since she is your sister. I had a couple boyfriends before I met her. Obviously we went to the same school for a while, but I never really hung out with her because I was with Mychal and our friends. When the Rivera’s moved out to LA, I met Adrianna and it was like my world started spinning backwards.

            “It didn’t stop spinning, but it was definitely spinning a different way, but I was okay with that. I instantly melted into her eyes and after we hung out a couple times, I knew I was attracted to her in every way.. physically, emotionally. We would play flirt with each other, but I always felt like I had to hold myself back, because I wanted to make it real. When we first kissed, I instantly knew that I like liked her.

            “I might have been too naïve at first to call it ‘love’ right away, but that’s what I said, in my head at least, but I definitely felt something different in me towards her than I did with the guys I dated before her. Same with Kyle. Yea, I was attracted to them, but something was always missing.”

            “So, you’ve never been attracted to another girl?”

            “Personally, no. Do I think other women are attractive? Yes. I’ll be the first to tell another woman she’s pretty and attractive, but I’ve never been attracted to them or for them. If that makes sense.”

            “I think it does, so, basically, you can appreciate the female body, but you’re just attracted to my sister’s.”

            “Exactly!” A huge smile crosses my face knowing that she understood all that. I’m not usually the one to give people advice, but even when she was smaller, Lilly would come to me if she didn’t want her family to know about something.

            “Thanks, Kenzie.”

            “No problem! But just a heads up, Naya and Heather, or Heya was it? I don’t know, but they’re super chill. I know you, like, hyper look up to them, but if you ever just want to hang out and talk to them about anything, they’ll be happy to.”

            “Okay. Thanks again and sorry I made it awkward at dinner.”

            “Not at all and don’t worry about it, kid.” I wink at her while we exchange ‘good nights’ and I move to the bathroom to get ready for bed.

AGMJAGMJAGMJ

            “Come on, slow pokes!”

            “Heather Elizabeth! We’re right behind you guys.” Heather and I laugh at Naya’s response, because her and Adrianna are at least forty feet behind us. We left for our hike around thirty minutes ago. We found a nice path, it was a little rough in some spots, but not too much that it hurt my stomach. I actually felt really good getting exercise again after the last eight months.

            “Are you going to be okay with these boulders up here, Kenzie? We have to step over them.”

            “Okay, can you just help me step up?”

            “Yea, you’re super tiny, so I can get up on one and pull you up.”

            “No you won’t! Heather, you’re not touching her until I get there.” I playfully roll my eyes up at Heather who’s waiting on top of the rock. Adrianna comes jogging over, out of breath.

            “Whew. Okay. Now, Heather you can pull her up, but she needs a spotter. I’ll hold her waist.”

            “Ade, I’m fine. Heather’s super strong.” As I say that, Heather lifts me up, with no help from Adrianna, because she wasn’t ready. “See, told you.” I laugh out at Ade’s surprised face which quickly turns mean.

            “I swear, if you would have dropped her, we’d have issues, HeMo.” Adrianna climbs herself over the boulder and last Heather helps Naya over.

            “Ugh, I knew I should have worn my other shoes.” Naya complains while attempting to scuff the dirt off her Michael Kors shoes.

            “Yea, Nay Nay? Why did you wear designer tennis shoes on a hike?”

            “I didn’t think we’d actually be going through the woods! I figured we’d just hike around the different cabins that are around here.”

            The four of us continue to walk a little ways, making small talk, before we end up at a clearing perfect for our picnic. We silently place out the oversized blanket and pass out different foods for lunch.

            “So, Kenz, have you thought anymore about coming on the show full time?”

            “I don’t know, guys, it’s one thing to be an extra, because I was younger and I definitely wasn’t showing at the time and didn’t have kids, but now I have two newborns. I need to think about them.”

            “You know mom will watch them while we’re filming. Ryan has a really good role for you, obviously a secondary character to start, but I almost guarantee that by next season you could join the main cast.”

            “Yea, plus I can help out.” I look towards Adrianna, surprised and a bit skeptical.

            “Ade, you have your externship and your own job. I can’t ask you to do that.”

            “Well, um, don’t worry about that okay. Just know that I’m always available to help you when you need it. Okay?” Her eyes don’t quite meet my gaze before she kisses my cheek and turns back to her food.

            “Well, I’ll think about it. I think I really want to do it. I don’t want to go into business like the Jackson’s. I never really did.” I break eye contact and look down at my half eaten sandwich. It’s something I’ve been working on for myself, not calling the Jackson’s ‘my family,’ because they’re not anymore. They haven’t been for a while and I know that.

            “You’re an amazing actress, Kenz, and you’ve never had any coaching. Ryan can see that and it’s why he’s asking you first before casting calls start for next season.” I’m about to take another bite of my sandwich when an idea hits me.

            “Are there any other characters coming in next season?”

            “Yea, there are a lot, since a new graduating class is going to be joining, since we’re graduating.”

            “Do.. Do you think Ade could do a screen test?” At this, Adrianna started to choke on her food. I quickly realize my mistake and rub her back as her breathing evens out. “I’m sorry, baby, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

            “Why me, Kenz?” Adrianna looks at me and my eyes lock with hers. Something behind them looks nervous and sad.

            “I don’t know, I just figured it was worth a shot. You’re a good actress too, you were in drama a little in high school and a cheerleader. I know you don’t have problems performing in front of people. It was just a thought. You don’t have to do anything.”

            “Well, um, I just don’t think Naya and I could handle being around each other that much without Snixx coming out to play.” The four of us laugh at the joke and accept that we should start heading back.

            We are about ten minutes from the cabin, Naya and Heather holding hands in front of us while we walk hand in hand a little bit behind them, when Adrianna suddenly falls to the ground.

            “S**t f**k, that hurts!” She quickly grabs her right ankle with both hands, slightly rocking back and forth on the ground. Heather and Naya quickly jog back to us.

            “Let me see.” Heather reaches to move Ade’s hands, but the brunette is quick to push her away.

            “No! I’m fine. We’re almost back and it doesn’t hurt that much. I think it was more the initial shock that scared me. I’ll be fine.” Heather helps her stand up and even with the first couple steps, I can hear and see her attempting not to wince at the pain. She really is too prideful for her own good sometimes.

            “Ade, Heather can give you a piggy back ride back. You and Naya are around the same size.”

            “No, Kenz, really. I’m fine. Why doesn’t Heather give you a ride back? Your stomach must be hurting you.” And it was, but not too bad that I couldn’t walk back if she needed the ride. I know right now, though, that she just needs to have her own self-pity, which Heather picks up on too.

            “What do you say, sunshine, want a ride back?” I smile and accept the ride. Heather and I laughing while galloping a little ways ahead of our girlfriends before saying anything.

            “Is Naya always honest with you?”

            “What do you mean?”

            “Like, does she tell you everything? Does she make important decisions with you? I know you two have been together for a long time. I’m not blind. You two love each other, you both practically have since you met.”

            “Well, yea, she does. We’ve talked about moving in together, she’s told me a lot about you and her and you and Ade and your guys’ past. It goes both ways though, I’m honest with her, too.”

            “I’m honest with Ade, but I feel like she’s hiding something from me.”

            “Maybe she’s trying to work something out before she brings it up. Sometimes you want to figure things out before you tell other people. You know that feeling.”

            “Yea, I guess you’re right. So, you and my sister are moving in together?” I get excited at this because I love Heather like another sister. She’s the sister I wish Quinn was like, plus she’s prettier. Not that I’m shallow, but Quinn always tried too hard with her looks and would get really upset if someone didn’t comment on her.

            “We’re thinking about it, yes. Of course, then it’ll bring a whole lot of ugly coming from a never ending parade of stupid, also known as the media and paparazzi. Which will suck.”

            “Yea, but you guys deserve it. You’ve both snuck around for so long, that I think having your own place will be good. Even if it means that the media finds out. You two belong together, just like me and Ade.” I smile at these thoughts and rest my head on Heather’s shoulder, my face in the crook of her neck before kissing her neck and hoping down as we walk up to the main cabin.

            “I saw that, Mackenzie Lynn. You mackin’ on my girl?”

            “Naya, your girl just carried me for the last ten minutes. Circumstances.” I shrug one shoulder to brush off her comment.

            “It wasn’t any problem, Kenzie, your..”

            “Little. I know. Like I haven’t heard that all my life.” My good mood quickly turning sour as Naya and Ade finally walk up to us.

            “No, not y-o-u-r-e, like ‘you are,’ y-o-u-r, as in ‘your’ stomach must have been hurting with all that hiking.” I quickly blush as my rude comment.

            “I’m sorry, Heather. I guess I’m just used to hearing that I’m little or small or tiny.”

            “There’s nothing wrong with that though, but I understand why it would bother you. No worries and apology accepted.” Heather kisses my cheek and turns to shrug at Naya and Adrianna. “Circumstances arise, you two. Deal with it.”

            “You know, now that we’re all going to be together a lot more, you and I are going to have to fight for their time competing with their bromance, right?” Adrianna stage whispers to Naya who slowly nods, eyes squinted, looking back and forth between Heather and I.

            “Okay, I need to feed Conner and Anya, so let’s go inside.” The four of us slowly make our way inside and see Rafa sleeping in the recliner with both the twins asleep on his chest. Autumn sleeping tucked into his side. We quietly coo over the scene and snap some pictures, before turning off the TV and moving to the kitchen.

            “Hola, ladies! How was the hike?”

            “Bueno, mamí.” Adrianna rushed out before anyone else could answer. “It was a lot of fun!”

            “I’m glad! Your father has been sleeping with those babies for about an hour now, but they’re probably all hungry, including Rafa.” She laughs out. “Your brothers went out with Alison and Holly for their own day dates today. They said they’ll be back for dinner and the bonfire tonight. Lilly is upstairs on Skype with Becca. I swear, I don’t know why that girl didn’t just come with. Anyway, I’m not sure where Nickayla got off to. Rafa and I need to head into town right now to get some things for tonight that we forgot.”

            “Lorena, we can go if you want.” Naya suggests as Adrianna grabs new water bottles for everyone.

            “Oh no, dear, está bien. Relax and have fun.” The older woman leaves the room and I follow her out to grab my kids.

            “How’s your ankle, babe?”

            “It’s fine, hun.” I can see the lie behind her eyes, but her pride won’t let her admit that it hurts.

            “Okay, well, I forgot the babies’ blankets in the living room. Can you go grab them for me, please?”

            “Okay. I’ll be right back.”

            When she walks back in, I move to pass Anya to her when I see how pale my girlfriend is. “Ade, let me see your ankle.”

            “Kenzie, I told you I’m fine.” She lifts her water bottle to her mouth and I see the slight shake in her hand.

            “Adrianna Isabella, lift your pant leg up.” I don’t raise my voice, but I talk seriously enough that she closes her eyes and winces at the force behind it. She slowly lifts her pant leg up to reveal a purple swollen mess where her ankle is supposed to be. “Ade! Baby, you should have friggen told me it hurt that bad! It could be broken. You’re a nurse. Is it broken?”

            “I-I’m not a nurse.”

            “Well, okay, I know that, but you’re studying to be one. Can’t you tell if it’s broken or not?”

            “I’m not studying to be a nurse and I don’t know if it’s broken, Mackenzie!” I’m surprised at her outburst and back track, but not before passing the babies to Naya and Heather.

            “I’ll just pump later, if you two can feed them, please.” I whisper and wait for them to heat up bottles. While they’re busy with that, I quickly and carefully take off Adrianna’s shoe and sock and grab a towel and some ice. I pick her foot up to elevate it on another chair and gently place the ice around it.

            “Do you want to talk about it now or later tonight?”

            “It really hurts, Kenzie, I’ll talk to my mom when she gets home and figure out what we should do.” I look up and see tears in her eyes and I quickly rush to grab pain medicine from the cabinet. She’s taking the medicine and I’m wondering what to do next when Heather walks back into the kitchen holding both Conner and Anya with a sleepy Autumn walking next to her.

            “Sorry to interrupt.” She looks and sounds nervous which isn’t like her. “But, um, Naya says she needs Mackenzie out front. Some guy is asking for you.”

            “Who? No one knows I’m out here.” I scrunch my face in confusion and look to Adrianna who simply shrugs and adjusts the ice on her foot.

            “Are you sure you didn’t tell anyone, Kenz?”

            “I’m sure Ade. I mean, Eric, Ryan, and Amanda know, but Naya knows them, she wouldn’t make them wait outside. Oh my god.” I freeze. “What if it’s Kyle?”

            “No, Kenzie, it’s not him. I promise. I’ve seen pictures of him, so I know it’s not.” Heather rushes out and I breathe a sigh of relief as Heather shrugs. “I don’t know who he is, but Naya told me right away to take the kids in here and for just you to go out there. She wouldn’t let him in here, so they’re outside on the front patio.”

            I’m still confused, but I kiss Adrianna and promise her to be back in a minute. I walk towards the front door and hear Naya talking harshly to the other person outside. I get to the front door and finally get a good look at the familiar six foot two, blonde man standing in front of my sister and I momentarily freeze before busting through the front screen door.

Author's Note

Honestly, I'm in such a slump with this story and I haven't been able to write in it for about two years, but it's a goal of mine to finish, because it's the first thing I've ever written. Any constructive reviews could help or anything that would be cool to write about in future chapters. Thanks!