Chapter Thirteen

Mackenzie’s POV

            “She’s so tiny. When they had said she weighed less, I didn’t really think she was going to be so small. I guess it doesn’t really hit you until you see it, huh?” Small tears form in my eyes as I rub Anya’s foot through the little hole in the humidicrib. “I just want to hold her. She looks so small and helpless.”

            While I am glad that Anya is getting the help and food she needs through the various tubes and machines, it breaks my heart at the same time. Who would ever want to see their baby suffering? It’s horrible and it makes me hate Kyle even more. Great, Kyle. Now that the babies are born, I’m going to have to file another restraining order. I just hope he doesn’t fight it. He didn’t even care the first time. Didn’t even argue to the judge when he was called.

            “What are you thinking about, honey?” Mama wraps her arms from behind me and I lean into her, my hands still caressing Anya’s soft skin. “I can tell you’re thinking hard about something. Talk to me.”

            It still takes me a couple minutes to form my thoughts and I’m glad that she never pushes; just holds me until I’m ready to talk. “Does it make me a bad person?” I whisper out, not wanting to really bring my thoughts to reality.

            “You don’t have a maleficent bone in your body. Why are you thinking of that?”

            “My baby is laying here, fighting for her life, and all I can think about is how to keep her father away. I mean, she’s as much a part of him as she is me, yet a part of me doesn’t even want to tell him that they’re born. That he can actually come and see them and hold them. I just want me to. I just want my family to. That makes me a selfish person, doesn’t it?”

            I take my hands away from  my sleeping baby girl and turn into the woman I’ve always known as a mother. “And my family. I should be able to call them and tell them they have grandchildren and a niece and nephew. N-no, they should be here right now, and they’re not, because I’m a selfish person! I-I went out to New York, because they practically forced me, so I sl-slept with Kyle, because I knew it would piss them off. It’s my fault she’s suffering. I-It’s my fault.”

            I don’t know when or how we end up sitting in a rocking chair, myself practically in mama’s lap. I don’t know how long I have been crying, but it didn’t matter, because Anya was in a room by herself, so there we sat. I am almost out of tears by the time Adrianna comes in. She doesn’t say anything, just sits next to us and rubs my back.

            “Now listen to me, Mackenzie Lynn.” Mama’s voice is soft, but firm, and I nod my head slightly to tell her I’m listening. “You are not selfish. You are not bad. You are not a mean person for thinking any of those things. Yes, you slept with a boy after drinking, but this is not a punishment. I never want to hear you say that again. The reason that Anya is this way is not your fault. She is a blessing and this situation right now is a lesson. A lesson to you, to Kyle, to all of us. All of us are going to learn from this, but she is a blessing and a miracle and we will be there for her every step of the way.”

            “That makes you a wonderful person. Some people walk away if their child is born different or hurting. You’re not. You’re so strong and you are going to help her be strong just like you. As for your family, you can try and call them or contact them if you want. That is entirely up to you. We’ll deal with everything one step at a time, okay? Day by day.”

            The last of my tears flow down my cheek as I feel her kiss the top of my head. We sit like this for a couple more minutes before she excuses herself to call and check on Naya and Heather. My stomach is hurting really bad with all the movement, but it’s been two days since the surgery and the doctor cleared me to stand and walk short distances. Two days and I realize, Adrianna still hasn’t seen Anya.

            “Do you want to see her?” I croak out in the grossest, after crying voice, and make a face at how I sound. “Sorry about that.” However, my amazing girlfriend doesn’t laugh or tease me. The small smile on her face grows just a little more, before she leans in and connects our lips. She peppers small kisses onto my lips and face until I am smiling again.

            “I’ve missed you.”

            “It was weird not seeing you yesterday. That was the first day since our second.. second date that we haven’t seen each other. I missed you too.” I connect our lips again for just another second, before she moves to get up. She moves to help me up before talking.

            “I don’t think you need to keep referring to our dates as ‘second’ anything anymore.”

            “But we’ve already had a first of everything. So, now this is our second.” I stand up slowly, wincing the whole time. When I finally stand, I motion for her to give me a minute and she waits, holding my hands in between us.

            “Yea, but I kind of feel like when we were dating before, it was like playing house. It doesn’t feel real.” My eyes widen and my head whip up to look into her brown orbs. “Don’t misunderstand what I’m saying. I’m just saying that now feels right. That we’re more mature and know more of what we want.”

            “So, when we were together before, it was a game?” I cannot hide the hurt in my voice. I cannot believe she’s saying this right now. “When we were together before… when we went on dates, when we fought with ignorant classmates and my damn family about our relationship, when we-we made love for the first time, and planned our fu-future together… you’re telling me it wasn’t real?”

            “That’s not what I’m saying at all. Calm down, please, you’re yelling and going to wake up the babies. Here, Kenzie, sit dow-.”

            “No! Don’t tell me what to do. You just said that our relationship before was like ‘playing house.’ That we were immature and didn’t know what we wanted. I wanted you! I wanted you, Adrianna! I lost my family over our relationship and I even lived with you. I saw my future with you. I never wanted to break up with you!”

            “Then why did you!” I am taken aback by the volume and tone of her voice; Adrianna has never raised her voice at me. “Why did you leave, Mackenzie?” I move to wipe the tears falling down her cheeks, but she pushes my hand away and moves backwards. “You left me! I never wanted to break up. I saw all those things too! I saw us with careers and a family and I wanted it so bad! Hell, I even thought of proposing to you, and you broke up with me and moved across the country!”

            “I’m sorry, babe. I didn’t me-.”

            “You may not have wanted to do it, but you did. You broke my heart, Makenzie, and I tried so hard to hate you!” Tears now falling down both our faces. “But I couldn’t.”

            “What?” Shock evident in my voice.

            “I couldn’t hate you. I couldn’t even get you out of my head. I thought I’d see you everywhere. At the store. At work. That day that I finally found you at Starbucks, I thought my head was playing tricks on me again. I didn’t think you were real. Then I saw that you were pregnant and my heart broke all over again. I thought you were happy and living this whole, grand life without me.”

            “Then why claim that what we had wasn’t real?”

            “I wasn’t saying that, babe. I was saying it doesn’t feel real anymore. I was saying that right now, all these things going on, this feels right. It feels so right and that my dreams when we were younger are nothing compared to right now. I thought we’d be living our life and building up our careers right now, but look. You have two babies. I have Autumn. I wouldn’t dream of having our lives any other way.”

            She helps me up before pulling me into another kiss, but when she pulls away, I hold her firm, but just for a couple more seconds.

            “You two really are a grotesquely, cute couple.” We pull away from each other as my sister and Heather enter the room. “I could get a cavity listening to you two.”

            “Says one half of the most wanted lesbian couple at the moment.” Adrianna teases as we all exchange hugs. “It’s creepy, you know… what people say about you two.”

            “You get used to it.” Heather shrugs.

            “Okay, chicas, we’re here for pictures!” Naya waves her phone in the air and a sense of dread courses through my body.

            “No!” I grab her phone out of her hand. “No, no pictures of them.”

            “Relax, sissy.” She wraps her arms around me and pulls me into a gentle hug. I move to put my hands around her waist and relax a little. “I’m not posting anything. I’m not even showing a bunch of people, but Dianna and Lea are kind of bummed that they can’t come see her yet, so they want pictures of her and Conner.”

            I exhale a sigh of relief. I don’t want my babies as some charity cases or something. I hand my sister her phone back. “Okay. Just nobody else, please.”

            “Promise! And speaking of Conner, dad says he’s been crying. Mom says he’s hungry. How long have you two been down here?”

            “I just got here maybe ten or fifteen minutes ago. Kenzie?”

            “I’ve been here since around six, I think. Yea, because I ate and fed Conner before I came down.”

            “Yea, you’ll definitely need to go back. We’ll hang out for a little longer and head over to your room.”

            “But, Ade still hasn’t seen her. You can stay, babe. I’ll be fine.”

            “Are you sure?”

            “Positive! Have fun and please don’t kill each other.” I laugh into the kiss and make my way back to my room. After laying down and adjusting Conner to eat, I reach over for my phone and decide to check all my social media apps.

            BREAKING NEWS: Naya Rivera admitted to hospital. More details to come.

            BREAKING NEWS: Heather Morris visits Naya Rivera in hospital. Secret lovers or just costars? Details here.

            I shake my head at the stupid stories people come up with when they have no proof of anything except a couple pictures. I decide to set the record straight, but I can’t help but try and toy with the followers I have; most of them because Naya and Mychal and the YouTube show, but they are all really fun and have been with me throughout the pregnancy, some since the show first started.

            @mackjack: No, @nayarivera is not in the hospital. She was visiting me, because…

            I was going to post the next tweet right away, when there’s a knock at the door, shortly followed by Mychal and Lea. I smile up at them, glad that I had covered Conner with a baby blanket. The couple comes to say hello before sitting and talking with mom and dad. Within seconds, my phone is a mess.

            203 replies. Refresh. 305 replies. Refresh. 697 replies.

            @mackjack: I am proud to announce that Conner & Anya Jackson were born June 17! I appreciate & love all your support you’ve shown me and my family.

            @mackjack: I am still resting up and the babies are getting stronger every day. We appreciate the privacy and support you all are giving us. XO Kenz

            “Lea, does this sound mean? It doesn’t sound right to me.” She walks over to my bed and I hand her my phone.

            “No, you just had twins. Most people don’t send anything out to their fans, let alone two days after the birth.” She hands me my phone back and I hit post.

            “I don’t have fans. Naya and Mychal have fans. I don’t even like that word.” Quiet laughs are exchanged as I check on Conner who has now fallen back to sleep. I fix my gown before pulling the blanket away. Mychal instantly jumping up to hold his nephew.

            “Calm down there, he’s not going anywhere.” I try and laugh, but it hurts too much.

            “He’s just so amazing. Both of them. You did good with them, kid.” He winks at me before moving to sit back down next to Lea. The two of them cooing over the sleeping baby.

            “Alright, Heather and I have been doing laundry all day. I’m over it. Gimme my nephew.” Naya laughs towards Mychal as she walks in the room with Heather and Ade not far behind her.

            “No. It’s my turn. You can wait.”

            “Mychal, gimme the baby.”

            “No.” Mychal returns the infamous Rivera smirk and moves Conner to the side, attempting to snuggle him more.

            “Mom!” Naya whines. “Tell him to give me my nephew.”

            “Naya Marie, don’t whine. It’s unattractive. Anyway, your brother just got to hold him, so it’s still his turn.” Mom rolls her eyes like she used to when we were all younger. “I swear, some things will never change.”

            “But that’s a good thing, right?” Naya leans over and kisses her mom on the cheek and moves to sit on the recliner, pulling Heather onto her lap. I pat the bed next to me when I see Adrianna looking awkwardly around for a place to sit. She smiles and moves to sit next to me on the bed, grabbing my left hand and rubbing her thumb smoothly along the back of it.

            We continue to sit around, talking, laughing, and sharing stories when the nurse comes in and informs us that, while I do have a private room, visiting hours have still been over for a while and reminds me that I need my rest. I frown, but my family relents, seeing as it’s almost midnight. I exchange goodbyes with everyone and a kiss with Adrianna and soon my room is quiet and empty.

AGMJAGMJAGMJ

            “Mama Rivera told me you’d be down here.” Adrianna speaks quietly as she enters Anya’s NICU room. “You want to tell me what’s going on?”

            “They’re sending Conner and I home today.” I say quietly, barely above a whisper as I look over Anya’s tiny body. “Anya’s lungs aren’t developing as fast as the doctors hoped they would. They are giving her more oxygen and more medicine to help her, but they think she’s going to be staying here a while. I can’t leave her Ade. She’s my baby. How can I go home and not have her with me?”

            “It’ll be okay, Kenz. It’s hard, but we’ll get through it together. They are going to get her body strong, but we already know she’s got a strong personality. Remember, whenever someone would talk to them or about them, you’d always feel her kick? During the baby shower, you said that she was going nuts. Always going to want to be the center of attention. She’ll get there, she just needs a little help right now.”

            “I know, it’s just hard knowing that I’m going to be at home with Conner and I can only visit her during visiting hours. It’s going to suck.” I turn into her embrace and wrap my arms around her waist, inhaling her familiar scent to calm my nerves.

            “How long do they think she’ll be here?”

            “They said at least two weeks, unless a miracle happens.”

            “Well, we’re going to stay positive. Nothing is going to be accomplished if we mope around and be negative. You are the epitome of sunshine, Kenzie. Now, I know it’s been a hard week, hell, a hard year, for you, but it’s all changing for the better, baby. We’re doing this together now, you’re not alone.”

            “Thank you.” I whisper before pulling her chin towards me for a soft kiss. I return my head under her chin and just stand there content in her arms.

            “Rivera girls are fighters. Even though your last names are Jackson, you two are Riveras through and through. She is already opening her eyes more throughout the day and the doctors thought that happened quicker than they thought. Have faith in your girl. Right Anya? You got this. Tell mommy. Say, ‘I got this!’”

            The two of us continue to talk and touch Anya for another hour or so until Mom comes and tells us the nurses are ready with the discharge papers. The next hour kind of goes by in a blur, but soon I’m in my car with dad driving and Conner next to me in the back seat. While everyone wished to have driven back home with the baby and I, I really just needed the quiet support of Papa Rivera to help clear my thoughts.

            “Alright honey, we’re here.” He helps me out of the car and carries Conner inside before heading back out and unloading the car. It’s weird being home after three days in the hospital. It’s weird that, in a few hours, I’m going to have a swarm of people coming, going, and staying at my house to help me while I’m still recovering from the surgery.

            I love my family and friends to death, but it’s going to be weird not really being able to go anywhere or do anything without someone jumping to help. I won’t go back to be the helpless little girl. They’re going to have to realize that.

            “Would it be rude if I set rules?” I ask as he brings in the last of the bags from the car.

            “I think it would be smart to set rules actually and a schedule for yourself and Conner.”

            “Yea. I think that’s what I want to do. I want to be as independent as I can be. I don’t want people doting on me and Conner at every second.”

            “You’re his mother, honey. You are in control.” With that last sentiment, he places a kiss on my forehead and walks to the kitchen.

AGMJAGMJAGMJ

            “So, I kind of wrote down how I would like to see things happen. I love all of you and I really appreciate the help, but I am not a doll. I can do a lot by myself. I may not be able to clean or lift things right now, but I can walk around and get things for myself and for Conner. I don’t want you all jumping up at every aspect to help.”

            The hoard of people all dutifully nod their heads at my monologue.

            “Also, I want alone time for myself and for Conner. I know you all love him, but he doesn’t need to be held 24/7. Trust me, I wish I could hold my babies all the time too, but it’s not healthy, especially when everyone is coming and going. If he’s asleep, I’d like to see him sleep in either the bassinet in my room or his crib.”

            Head nods.

            “I will be visiting Anya in the mornings, so I’ll pump before I go and make sure there’s plenty of milk for Conner. I don’t want him having formula if I can help it. Anyway, that’s it, I think, for now at least.”

            After my little speech is finished, everyone disperses either to get some food or to talk or to hold Conner. “I’m proud of you.” Mama Rivera whispers as she comes up behind me. “It takes a lot to tell your family and friends to back off.” She laughs. “But I’m glad you did. It’ll be good for both of you.”

            We both look forward as Adrianna takes Conner from her mother. I feel a swell of emotion when she walks over to Autumn and sits next to her daughter on the couch. Ade holds Conner so Autumn can see him and, while I can’t hear what’s being said, my smile doubles at my girlfriend’s smile. She looks so perfect in this moment.

            “Don’t worry, I got a picture for you.” Naya comes up to me and shows me her phone with a picture of the three on the couch. “Don’t cry, sissy.” She wipes at the tears I didn’t even know were falling.

            “Uhh. Hormones.” I sigh out. “I just cannot wait until Anya is home. Until I’m healed from this surgery.. Until everything is normal again.”

            “Honey, you’re now the mom of twins. Welcome to your new normal.”

AGMJAGMJAGMJ

            “Welcome home, baby bug!” I coo as I am finally able to walk through my front door with my two week old baby girl.

            Two weeks she was in the NICU and every time I saw her I could tell she was getting stronger. Every day she made strides towards coming home, just like Adrianna said, she’s a fighter. They were able to take her off oxygen two days after Conner and I came home. That same day I was able to have skin to skin contact with her. I tried nursing her the next day, but she wouldn’t latch on.

            She stayed on the feeding tubes up until three days ago when she finally latched on and I was able to feed her. I probably cried tears of joy the whole time she nursed. After that it was just getting her to keep her eyes open and regulating her digestion and other things that I didn’t really understand what the nurses said and had text Ade to explain for me.

            But now, she’s home. She is finally able to see her brother again, lounge in the house with the two of us, she is able to sleep in her own crib. I’m so excited! “I’m so glad you’re home, Anya. I know I missed you and you’re brother missed you. I hope you like our house. I’m sure you will though.” I continue to whisper to her while I slowly walk her to the nursery to change her diaper and feed her before I let her go to my family and Adrianna’s family who have been waiting to see her in person.

            Since she was in such a fragile state at the hospital, I really didn’t want a lot of people to go visiting her. Maybe it was selfish of me, but I had my reasons. One, germs. I didn’t want a lot of germs to be in her room and her getting worse. And two, I didn’t want people to pity her. I wanted only positive thoughts. As much as we could at least. So, the only people to see her every day was myself a couple others. Adrianna didn’t go every day because of Autumn, but she did visit every two or three days.

            When I bring her back into the living room, I hand her off to Lorena, Ade’s mom, and she smiles down at my little mini me. I hope the twins’ eyes don’t change color, because they look so good with their blonde hair and blue eyes, but I know they aren’t one hundred percent me, so there is a chance that their hair and eyes could change down the line.

            “What’s on your mind, choochie?” Adrianna comes up behind me and puts her hands on my hips. I lean back into her and feel her place a gentle kiss to my temple.

            “Just thinking, bubbles.”

            “About?”

            “I guess I am just nervous about things coming up in the next month or so. Now that Anya’s home, I feel like everything is going to move so fast. I don’t think I’m ready for it all.”

            “Like what? Talk to me. Here, let’s go to your room. It’ll be quieter.” She holds my hand and leads the way back to my bedroom. I sit down on the bed and collect my thoughts while she closes the door and walks over to me. “Okay, what are you worried about?”

            “First off, Kyle. I’m terrified, Ade. I really am. What if he fights for them? I can’t handle it. I won’t be able to share them with him, Ade!”

            “Okay, deep breath. No judge in their right mind will let him get away with even partial custody after what he pulled when he found out you were pregnant and if they do, then we’re going to have to worry that I’ll end up in jail over a domestic dispute.”

            “No, please don’t joke like that.”

            “I’m not joking, Mackenzie. He hurt you and tried to end Conner and Anya’s lives. I honestly don’t know what I would do if I was in the same room as him, but we just better hope that he stays away and doesn’t say anything to either of us. So, as far as Kyle is concerned, we’re just going to have to take it day by day.”

            She grabs a hold of my hands and holds them in between us, gently running her thumbs along my knuckles and I can feel myself starting to relax.. a little. She waits for me to open my eyes and make eye contact again before pushing the conversation forward.

            “What else is on your mind?”

            “I just want to be healed already! Doctor Emmi said it could take up to eight weeks for my stomach to be healed to where I can finally lift and move things around that isn’t the twins. Eight! Conner and Anya will be over a month old by then. I don’t want people in and out of the house for another six weeks, I can’t. I already want to scream sometimes because they’re always here.”

            “Real quick, my love, did you take your medicine this morning?”

            “This isn’t postpartum, Adrianna! These are my feelings, as a grown adult, as a mother! Don’t belittle my feelings down to some stupid diagnosis.”

            “Stupid diagnosis? Mackenzie, I was the one that told you that you needed to go to the doctor. You already put yourself and Conner at risk! Now, I’m not belittling your feelings at all, but you need to keep on your medicine until your anxiety meds kick in or else I’ll have your mother take Conner again and you and I can fight it out all over again.”

Adrianna’s POV

One week earlier

            A distant ringing wakes me up. Before answering, I look to the clock on my side table, 10:30 pm. I must have been tired; falling asleep right after I put Autumn down for the night. I pick my phone up and answer without even looking to see who was calling.

            “Hello?”

            “Adrianna, it’s Yolanda.” Her voice sounding nervous and rushed.

            “H-hello, Mama Rivera, what’s up?” Realization quickly sobering me conscious. “Is everything okay?”

            “I’m not quite sure, honey. The family and I are over at Mackenzie’s house to help out. She was really quiet during dinner. I meant silent. Sh-she didn’t say a word. Then, she picked Conner up out of his bouncer and went to her room. I gave her time, thinking she was feeding him, but about ten minutes ago she just started screaming. She won’t stop. Conner’s stuck in there with her.”

            “What the hell?” I rush out of bed and silently thank God that I’m still dressed from my day. I start grabbing my purse and hope that I still have extra clothes and things in Autumn’s diaper bag.

            “George and Mychal both tried to break the door down, but Naya went to the side of the house and saw that she has her dresser in front of it. She probably broke her stitches open doing that, but she saw Naya and closed the curtains. She’s starting to call for you though, that’s why I’m calling. I’m sorry it’s so late, but I don’t know what to do. She needs to go to the hospital if she did something dumb and Conner’s in there with her.”

            “I-I have Autumn.”

            “We can take care of her. Please, we need your help. We’ve never seen her like this.”

            “I’m on my way.”

            As I pack up Autumn’s pack and play, blankets, and diaper bag into the car, I’m trying to go back over the conversation in my head. What could possibly be going through Mackenzie’s head that she’s locked her and Conner in the room? I quickly get Autumn from her room and she clutches her Michael doll before falling asleep again on my shoulder on the way to the car. I’m glad she’s a heavy sleeper.

            “I’m here!” I call as I rush through my girlfriend’s front door with my daughter in my arms. I quickly pass her to Heather with my car keys telling her that Autumn’s things are in the car. The screaming is so loud even through a closed door and down the hallway. I run down the hall and see Naya in tears, her brother attempting to comfort her. “Umm.. Heather has Autumn. I’ll try and get her to open the door.”

            Mychal, George, and Lea guide Naya out to the living room. Yolanda standing with me as I collect myself and knock on the door. “Kenzie? Choochie? It’s Ade. Open up, please!” Within an instant, the high pitched screams stopped, but Conner is still wailing and my heart breaks, not knowing what’s going on in the room. “Mackenzie, open the door, please!”

            The scraping sound of wood against wood is heard and I know she’s moving her dresser. She screams out again, but I know it’s because of the pain in her stomach. After the scraping stops, there’s no more movement. I try the door, but it’s locked. “Kenz, the door is locked. Unlock it and open the door please!” I yell over Conner’s cries.

            The door barely opens and I rush in before she slams it behind me and locks it again. I see Conner lying on the bed and move to pick him up, but Kenzie yells before stumbling over to me. “D-don’t touch him! Everyone’s aaaaalways touching him and heeee doesn’t like it!”

            “Mackenzie, he needs to get out of this room. You’ve been screaming for thirty minutes.”

            “Noooo! Heeee’s my child and heee’ll stay with me.”

            “Mackenzie, are you drunk?”

            “Maybe.”

            “What the f**k? I’m taking Conner out of here. I cannot believe how f*****g immature you are right now. You’re acting really dumb.” I quickly grab Conner, who’s still crying, and take him to the bedroom door. I unlock it and pass him to Yolanda before Kenz can catch up to me. I slam the door and lock it again before she can get passed me.

            “What the f**k are you thinking? Drinking, in general, right now would be a dumb decision, let alone with your week old son locked in the room with you. I swear, I don’t even know who you are right now!”

            “Oh, so I’m stupid. It’s fine, just leave me then. It’s not like I deserve any of this anyway! I don’t deserve you or the Riveras or these kids. My own daughter doesn’t even love me! So, what’s the point?”

            It was then that I saw the look of nausea float across the blonde’s face, but I couldn’t react soon enough before she throws up all over her floor. She sinks to the floor in front of me before throwing up again. And again. I rush to her bathroom and wet a cloth to run over her face. I move to sit behind the now crying girl and hold her. Something’s going on, but she needs to say it or else she won’t believe it if she heard.

            We sat like that for probably thirty to forty more minutes, her crying and me running the cold cloth over her forehead and neck. I glanced at the clock and noticed that it was going on midnight. I silently stand her up, now that she’s done crying, and walk her to the bathroom. I sit her on the vanity seat while I run the water in the tub.

            When I ensure that the water is at a good temperature, I turn around and see the shell of my girlfriend. Even when she was kicked out, I didn’t see her this withdrawn into herself. Postpartum depression immediately flashes through my head. It breaks my heart, because Mackenzie is such a light-hearted person, I honestly don’t think anyone thought she would get it.

            I slowly walk over to her, as to not scare her, but she doesn’t even blink. She lets me undress her, put her hair up, and check her stitches, which luckily didn’t pop. I grab clean plastic and dressings for her so she can sit in the bath. When I’m done, I guide her to the bath and she sits in; knees up to her chest, hugging herself. I give her a quick sponge bath before letting the water out and drying her off.

            When she was dressed again, I move to lay her in her bed. Her eyes not closing, just wide open, staring at nothing in particular. I kiss her head and tell her I’m going to be back in a minute to clean up the vomit. I open the curtains and windows to air the room out before I leave.

            “How is she?” Naya rushes to me with tear streaked cheeks as I enter the living room.

            I finally let out a long exhale and let my tears fall before collapsing to the ground. It doesn’t even bother me that Naya was the one that dropped down and hugged me. I quickly remember why I left the room and try to dry my tears and collect myself.

            “She was drunk. There’s a completely empty bottle of vodka on her side table. I don’t know if she drank the whole thing, but she threw up all over her floor. I just came out to get something to clean it up. I-I just can’t believe her. I’m going to talk to her tomorrow about going to the doctor. I think she has postpartum depression. She was saying that Anya doesn’t love her and that she doesn’t deserve any of us or the twins. That’s not her!”

            “We appreciate you coming over, Adrianna, but it’s late now. You can take Autumn home and we can handle Mackenzie and Conner from here.”

            “No thank you, George. I have all intentions of staying until she wakes up tomorrow morning. She’s going to have a killer hangover and she’s going to have you guys all ‘Help Mackenzie not feel as bad.’ Not saying that it’s a bad thing, you guys are her family, but she has to realize how much she risked tonight. I’ll call my mom to watch Autumn.”

            “Nonsense, we can watch her. We’ll take her and Conner back to our house for the night. Call us in the morning.”

            “You could have lost Conner that night with one dumb move! We could’ve lost both of you! So, don’t tell me it’s just some dumb diagnosis.”

            I see the tears running down her face while she plays that night over in her head. That next day, she cried most of the morning until she finally opened up and told me that she was upset that Anya wouldn’t nurse. She felt she lost the bond between her and her daughter. That Anya was upset with her because she was stuck in the hospital.

            “I’m sorry, Ade. I know it’s not dumb. It’s just frustrating sometimes that I need to be on all this medication. When is it going to end?”

            “I don’t know, honey, but it’ll get better. I promise. Now, is there anything else bothering you?”

            “Nothing that I need to talk about right now. Can.. can we just lay down and cuddle a little bit? I was actually really upset that night that you slept in the guest room. I just wanted you to hold me so bad that night.”

            “I know you did, but I was really upset that night too, Kenz. Not even just upset, I was so angry with you.”

            “I honestly don’t even know why I did any of it. I can’t really remember anything until I started screaming.”

            “Okay, well, we’re going to move past it now. No more talking about it. We’re going to lay here and cuddle up under the covers until lunch, and we’re just going to enjoy the moment we’re in now. The twins are home.” Even though Mackenzie is laying with her head on my chest, I can still feel her smiling as she gently squeezes my waist; both of us happily dozing off into a peaceful sleep.

            We’re awoken by two bodies jumping onto the bed. I don’t even need to open my eyes to know that it’s Naya and Heather. Spending almost all of our free time here during the last two weeks, we’ve all become really close. It’s weird to think we even hated each other at one point, just over a month ago actually.

            “Come sleepy heads, get your fine asses outta bed!” Naya yells as her and Heather continue to jump.

            “Yea!” Heather laughs. “Lunch is ready!”

            “Okay! Okay! Stop, I have to pee.” Mackenzie yells.

            “Then get off of me.” I playfully nudge her shoulder, my eyes still closed. After she gets up to go to the bathroom, I feel someone lay down next to me.

            “How is she?” Naya whispers and I turn onto my side to face her and see that Heather is laying behind Naya, her head on her girlfriend’s shoulder.

            “She’s good. I think she’ll be better after we have the custody and paperwork for Kyle done. She’s a little jacked over that, but I really think now that Anya’s home, she’ll be doing better.”

            “I’m glad. I just don’t want a repeat of next week. You’ll tell us if something’s wrong, won’t you?”

            “Of course I will! Just like you guys will tell me, but I do think that everyone should officially go home and stay home tomorrow. She’s getting a little claustrophobic with everyone here. Maybe just call and check in if she needs anything.”

            “Yea, I guess. We can talk to my mom and dad about it later.”

            “Alright! Let’s go eat!” Heather exclaims as Kenz leaves the bathroom. Heather pulls Naya off the bed and the two leave the room. Mackenzie lays back down on the bed next to me, peppering kisses all over my face until I smile and return one. One that turns into a long one. A long one that turns heated.

            “You two have been making out in here for, like, ten minutes!” Naya bursts into the room. “Let’s go! Mom refuses to let us eat until you two come out.” We all laugh until Naya starts to literally pull me out of the bed.

            “Naya Marie! If I fall off this bed, I’ll tell Heather what you did during truth or dare!”

            Naya gasps and stops what she’s doing. “You wouldn’t dare!”

            “Try me.” I laugh as I run from the room, Naya hot on my heals, towards our laughing families for lunch. Yup, I could get used to this new normal.

Author's Note

Honestly, I'm in such a slump with this story and I haven't been able to write in it for about two years, but it's a goal of mine to finish, because it's the first thing I've ever written. Any constructive reviews could help or anything that would be cool to write about in future chapters. Thanks!